"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
fake numbers
- Thread starter L-I-B
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Shiftkey
Master Don Juan
I've only gotten 1 fake number, but several flakes.
If you want real numbers that actually turn into dates, your goal can't be to just get numbers. Phone numbers are only a way to get in contact with people, women's phone numbers are not trophies. You need to build enough rapport that she WANTS to give you her number. She should be mad if you DON'T ask for her number if you've built the necessary rapport. Of course it's easier said than done, and I still have trouble building rapport sometimes too, but that's the kind of mindset you should have. Also keep in mind that you're going to get fake numbers and flakes sometimes no matter how good you get.
If you want real numbers that actually turn into dates, your goal can't be to just get numbers. Phone numbers are only a way to get in contact with people, women's phone numbers are not trophies. You need to build enough rapport that she WANTS to give you her number. She should be mad if you DON'T ask for her number if you've built the necessary rapport. Of course it's easier said than done, and I still have trouble building rapport sometimes too, but that's the kind of mindset you should have. Also keep in mind that you're going to get fake numbers and flakes sometimes no matter how good you get.
that's probably my problem. I'll only talk to them for a few minutes before they have to go, and it almost seems akward to ask for it. how much rapport do you usually have? and what do you do if you are only able to talk to them for a few minutes, and they have to go, and you know you'll never see them again?
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Read back a wrong number to her and see if she is lying!
for example - she says 539-4003 -- you say 539-4033 if she confirms then you know she gave you a fake number - give it back to her and say tricks aere for kids! If you can wait 20 seconds or ask a question after she wrote the number down so she can't remember the fake (unless she knows by memory the fake number - like to the dog pound)
for example - she says 539-4003 -- you say 539-4033 if she confirms then you know she gave you a fake number - give it back to her and say tricks aere for kids! If you can wait 20 seconds or ask a question after she wrote the number down so she can't remember the fake (unless she knows by memory the fake number - like to the dog pound)
Shiftkey
Master Don Juan
That's really hard to say. It's more of a feeling you get with experience. My best advice would be to look for indicators of interest such as returned kino or questions she asks (you can find several tips on this). If you get enough of these you've probably built enough rapport.that's probably my problem. I'll only talk to them for a few minutes before they have to go, and it almost seems akward to ask for it. how much rapport do you usually have?
I say just go for it. You have nothing to lose. It's not like you're any worse off if they give you a fake number or flake on you. In fact you're better off because of the experience you got.and what do you do if you are only able to talk to them for a few minutes, and they have to go, and you know you'll never see them again?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Shiftkey
Master Don Juan
That's a clever idea, but L-I-B, be careful not to rely on gimmicks and techniques.Read back a wrong number to her and see if she is lying!
for example - she says 539-4003 -- you say 539-4033 if she confirms then you know she gave you a fake number - give it back to her and say tricks aere for kids! If you can wait 20 seconds or ask a question after she wrote the number down so she can't remember the fake (unless she knows by memory the fake number - like to the dog pound)
If you have no real rapport with someone
and you're really just playing DJ games
(or the DJ bootcamp fantasy) giving you a fake number is just to get rid of you.
How seriously would you take someone
who just walks up to you and starts
talking gamelike with the belief something's going to come of it.
and you're really just playing DJ games
(or the DJ bootcamp fantasy) giving you a fake number is just to get rid of you.
How seriously would you take someone
who just walks up to you and starts
talking gamelike with the belief something's going to come of it.
Fake number is a result of not enough ATTRACTION. She is not attracted enough to even contemplate seeing you again.
Flake is a result of not enough rapport. She gave you the number because she was attracted to you. Because women are emotional, at that particular moment you asked for her number, she gave it to you. She might even beg you to call her.
However, when the emotional high of meeting someone so attractive has dissolved somewhat, Anti-Sl*t Defence (ASD) kicks in. She begins to throw up all resistance because she felt so attacted to some random guy, and she knows that all you want to do is to f&*k her.
Now we can get past the ASD through rapport. This way, she can rationalise that you don't want her just because of sex. She will think that because she was so smart, so funny so XXX that you call her. This could be achieved through finding commonality as well.
I'll only talk to them for a few minutes before they have to go
Go for a time constraint. Try hitting on girls that are STATIONARY, rather than moving. This way you can instantly ask them to join you for a coffee/pick out some new clothes/go on an adventure. This will improve your meet-to-flake ratio DRASTICALLY.
Flake is a result of not enough rapport. She gave you the number because she was attracted to you. Because women are emotional, at that particular moment you asked for her number, she gave it to you. She might even beg you to call her.
However, when the emotional high of meeting someone so attractive has dissolved somewhat, Anti-Sl*t Defence (ASD) kicks in. She begins to throw up all resistance because she felt so attacted to some random guy, and she knows that all you want to do is to f&*k her.
Now we can get past the ASD through rapport. This way, she can rationalise that you don't want her just because of sex. She will think that because she was so smart, so funny so XXX that you call her. This could be achieved through finding commonality as well.
I'll only talk to them for a few minutes before they have to go
Go for a time constraint. Try hitting on girls that are STATIONARY, rather than moving. This way you can instantly ask them to join you for a coffee/pick out some new clothes/go on an adventure. This will improve your meet-to-flake ratio DRASTICALLY.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Shiftkey
Master Don Juan
Wise words. My success rate improves dramatically when I've turned pickups into minidates.Go for a time constraint. Try hitting on girls that are STATIONARY, rather than moving. This way you can instantly ask them to join you for a coffee/pick out some new clothes/go on an adventure. This will improve your meet-to-flake ratio DRASTICALLY.
However I don't see the connection between flaking and ASD. Why would she be affraid of being thought a slut because she goes on a date? I still put flaking and fake numbers in the same catagory and that they are caused from lack of rapport. I consider attraction to be necessary a component of rapport (on a sexual level). You can't have rapport with a woman if she isn't attracted to you.
However I don't see the connection between flaking and ASD. Why would she be affraid of being thought a slut because she goes on a date?
Ok, I will try and explain the best I can.
You met her in a club, you were funny charming and attractive. You said it was fun seeing her again and you get her number. Now without rapport (ie: finding commonality between you and her, and finding out more than superficial details about her) she KNOWS that the only reason you want to see her again is for sex.
Now, with rapport, you find out more about her as a PERSON. Without rapport, you are only attracted to her because of her PHYSICAL BEAUTY.
When you get her number without rapport, she KNOWS she hasn't impressed you with her personality, and therefore she ASSUMES that you only want her for sex.
Now, she wants sex from you as well. But her social programing tells her that she cannot have sex with someone who is only physcially attracted to her. She would made to feel like a piece of meat by society. Therefore she needs to FEEL that she is more to you than a sex object.
So when you call her up and "meet for drinks", she knows what you want because the only thing you guys have in common is a PHYSCIAL ATTRACTION. If her attraction level is still high for you, she KNOWS she will not be able to stop herself, and hence she flakes on you.
It sounds f&*ked up, I know, but it is true. Think about it, how many times have you have some chick all worked up and ready to f&*k, and she ask you questions like: Are you a player? Are you gay? Where is your girlfriend? You do this to all the girls right? I don't sleep with guys I just met BLAH BLAH BLAH
Also you will find that if you HOLD back rapport, and just go C&F, be funny and demonstrate higher value, after a while the chicks will ask you questions.
This is their way of seeking rapport with you. They are attracted to this guy, and they want to know about him. Only then should you go into rapport GRADUALLY.
The same goes in social circle PUs. The girl sees a friend of a friend. She thinks he is hot and ONLY THEN does she want to know more about him. So she is ATTRACTED and then she needs the RAPPORT so that it becomes socially acceptable that they f&*k.
If she is attracted to him, and she listens to her emotions and f&*k him without rapport, then she is branded as a sl*t by her friends.
I consider attraction to be necessary a component of rapport (on a sexual level). You can't have rapport with a woman if she isn't attracted to you.
For me, rapport FOLLOWS attraction. Sure you can have rapport with a girl without attraction. This situation leads to LJBF because she is not attracted to you, yet feels comfortable enough for you guys to hang together.
Ok, I will try and explain the best I can.
You met her in a club, you were funny charming and attractive. You said it was fun seeing her again and you get her number. Now without rapport (ie: finding commonality between you and her, and finding out more than superficial details about her) she KNOWS that the only reason you want to see her again is for sex.
Now, with rapport, you find out more about her as a PERSON. Without rapport, you are only attracted to her because of her PHYSICAL BEAUTY.
When you get her number without rapport, she KNOWS she hasn't impressed you with her personality, and therefore she ASSUMES that you only want her for sex.
Now, she wants sex from you as well. But her social programing tells her that she cannot have sex with someone who is only physcially attracted to her. She would made to feel like a piece of meat by society. Therefore she needs to FEEL that she is more to you than a sex object.
So when you call her up and "meet for drinks", she knows what you want because the only thing you guys have in common is a PHYSCIAL ATTRACTION. If her attraction level is still high for you, she KNOWS she will not be able to stop herself, and hence she flakes on you.
It sounds f&*ked up, I know, but it is true. Think about it, how many times have you have some chick all worked up and ready to f&*k, and she ask you questions like: Are you a player? Are you gay? Where is your girlfriend? You do this to all the girls right? I don't sleep with guys I just met BLAH BLAH BLAH
Also you will find that if you HOLD back rapport, and just go C&F, be funny and demonstrate higher value, after a while the chicks will ask you questions.
This is their way of seeking rapport with you. They are attracted to this guy, and they want to know about him. Only then should you go into rapport GRADUALLY.
The same goes in social circle PUs. The girl sees a friend of a friend. She thinks he is hot and ONLY THEN does she want to know more about him. So she is ATTRACTED and then she needs the RAPPORT so that it becomes socially acceptable that they f&*k.
If she is attracted to him, and she listens to her emotions and f&*k him without rapport, then she is branded as a sl*t by her friends.
I consider attraction to be necessary a component of rapport (on a sexual level). You can't have rapport with a woman if she isn't attracted to you.
For me, rapport FOLLOWS attraction. Sure you can have rapport with a girl without attraction. This situation leads to LJBF because she is not attracted to you, yet feels comfortable enough for you guys to hang together.