"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Fake it till you make it?

JonnyD123

Don Juan
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Was going on 5 days NC with an ex that broke things off. I saw it coming, got prepared, and basically just let her do it. As much as it hurt I knew it was for the best, and I assumed if she wanted to reach out she would.

Well, we ran into each other yesterday unexpectedly. Both of us were caught off guard. There were definitely still some feelings involved but for the most part I kept it light and cordial, and cracked some jokes. She asked how I was doing and I said good. She said she hadn't been sleeping.

Later that night sure enough I get a text from her saying "Have you really been doing good?" I said "Yes, hope you are as well."

Woke up in the morning to notice she had blocked me on all social media, and changed the PW to a Spotify account we had shared.

I knew her reaching out was her way of possibly trying to reconcile things, but I was wanting something more yhsn that BS question.

So, my question is, is "faking" it really the best route to go here? I know that sympathy isn't attractive, but I feel like sh*t mainly because I feel like I'm lying to myself. Thoughts?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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resilient

Master Don Juan
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"Faking" is a weird word to describe the moving on phase. Point is, you've shifted your focus back on you. You said you saw it coming, got prepared and I assumed let her do the dumping. You kept the surprise interaction light and funny, which is good... like a gentleman. You handled that well.

She reached out to you in text to confirm that she did the right thing by walking away and to ease her consciousness. Again, you answered plainly, didn't get emotional or give her any ammunition to fire back. Good. Oddly, it was her actions in blocking you on social media and changing her spotify that revealed her true concern for your well-being.

In any case, if you're moving on with your life, stop checking her social media and just start up your own individual spotify account. That's small stuff.

Most of your OP was about her and how you've reacted in moving on. You won't have to "fake" moving forward to anyone. Just have fun, be authentic to yourself, and enjoy the life you have and what you want out of it moving forward.
 

JonnyD123

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"Faking" is a weird word to describe the moving on phase. Point is, you've shifted your focus back on you. You said you saw it coming, got prepared and I assumed let her do the dumping. You kept the surprise interaction light and funny, which is good... like a gentleman. You handled that well.

She reached out to you in text to confirm that she did the right thing by walking away and to ease her consciousness. Again, you answered plainly, didn't get emotional or give her any ammunition to fire back. Good. Oddly, it was her actions in blocking you on social media and changing her spotify that revealed her true concern for your well-being.

In any case, if you're moving on with your life, stop checking her social media and just start up your own individual spotify account. That's small stuff.

Most of your OP was about her and how you've reacted in moving on. You won't have to "fake" moving forward to anyone. Just have fun, be authentic to yourself, and enjoy the life you have and what you want out of it moving forward.
The whole social media thing is more for her wellbeing. She's told me before it's helped her move on with past exes. Great post all around though.
 
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