I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Hyper2010 said:Split with ex a month ago, initiated NC 2 weeks ago. Got message last night saying she wanted to chat. Popped round, ended up banging her. Feel pretty crppy today. Is this normal? Any thoughts?
That would be a dream scenario, unfortunately, 9 out of 10 fail to keep thoose feelings down, why the NC is the only thing to go with.Vidrio said:As long as you don't develop feelings for her I don't see the problem. You might as well keep banging her until you get new options (If you don't have any already).
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Eh? he had sex with her, the only thing he lost was sperm.betheman said:yes its normal but it isnt good, this is why when you go NC, you stay that way. you are now back to square 1. she has asserted some control over you, you have lost some ground. so yes, it is normal, it isnt right but it is normal.
so why is he feeling like crap?Eternal_water said:Eh? he had sex with her, the only thing he lost was sperm.
he had some sex and can go NC again.
Quite a few threads recently along the line of "im getting too much action and interest from girls and I don't like it" like seriously what?
Send her my way for the sex next time if you don't want it, I won't complai about getting some
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Okay.Hyper2010 said:I think the reason I feel like crap, are that she was very huggy/cuddly before and after the sex, and confessed to still loving/missing me since we split up. Yet due to what happened when we split, there is NO possible way in this world we could ever sort this out. I knew this when I went round, and even had the mindset of see if I could get laid, and if not go home for a tug. But truth be told didn't expect her to put out.
Still it was my birthday today and made a nice present whilst Im spinning other plates....
She even confessed that since I went NC she had nearly rung me a few times.