"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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F^ck

JonJack

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Originally posted by ketostix
WTF JonJack? Even if your presumption is true (not that it necessarily is) that she's happy with the situation now and he isn't, that doesn't mean he failed. Just because a girl is a total bytch, and gets her way doesn't mean a guy's failed because she was a crazy B, that's all on her. She's still in the wrong..Talk about moral relativism.
Now who gave you the right to judge what is wrong or right for this girl without even knowing whether she even sees what she has done as being wrong or right?

This is where the danger of placing blame lies. You can blame others and deem their actions as wrong, and all the while they are all happy with hurting your ass. You're constantly telling yourself and others that it's their fault. That they are the ones making your life miserable. They are the ones that made the relationship fail. They spoilt it all.

I do not doubt that the girl is going to live an unhappy life behaving in such a manner. Her behaviour is extremely destructive and toxic. However, I do not condone placing all the blame on others when you cannot accept that loss. If you are not willing to lose something, losing it would definitely be your fault.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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MetalFortress

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Originally posted by JonJack
Only if it helps me not to see things in just black and white.
It also apparently helps you not be coherent at all. Pay attention. She dumped him because he didn't accept her being a b!tch to him. I don't care if he thinks it's his fault or not. Her friends told him that they were seeing to her, so the fact is she should have been okay with that. She's being a controlling b!tch. So yeah, it is her fault. If it made her happier doing that, then she needs a moral gut check.
 

JonJack

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Originally posted by MetalFortress
It also apparently helps you not be coherent at all. Pay attention. She dumped him because he didn't accept her being a b!tch to him. I don't care if he thinks it's his fault or not. Her friends told him that they were seeing to her, so the fact is she should have been okay with that. She's being a controlling b!tch. So yeah, it is her fault. If it made her happier doing that, then she needs a moral gut check.
As long as DrMetallica is able to let her go because she's a bytch, I agree that it's her fault. If it's hard for him to let go of a controlling bytch, then both of them are at fault.

And maybe I'm looking at it too deeply. It's difficult when you only get one side of the story and I have no idea how the girl actually feels about the whole incident.
 

MetalFortress

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Originally posted by JonJack
As long as DrMetallica is able to let her go because she's a bytch, I agree that it's her fault. If it's hard for him to let go of a controlling bytch, then both of them are at fault.

And maybe I'm looking at it too deeply. It's difficult when you only get one side of the story and I have no idea how the girl actually feels about the whole incident.
Wait, no, you just changed the story. First you said "The girl could be happier without him and I can't exactly say that it is her fault for making herself happier now can I?" and now you said "If it's hard for him to let go of a controlling bytch, then both of them are at fault." The latter at least makes sense, but you are backpedaling.
 

JonJack

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Originally posted by MetalFortress
Wait, no, you just changed the story. First you said "The girl could be happier without him and I can't exactly say that it is her fault for making herself happier now can I?" and now you said "If it's hard for him to let go of a controlling bytch, then both of them are at fault." The latter at least makes sense, but you are backpedaling.
You see, I said she 'could' be happier. However, most likely she won't be happier overall because her character is flawed. I did indeed backpedal a bit but only because I wanted to highlight the fact that the girl's position has got to be considered too.

Although the outcome is that both of them may very well share the blame, getting to this conclusion is not as easy at it seems if you do not want the same thing to happen and the same feelings to return again and again.

Blame is a very dangerous thing. It's so easy to dish it out without understanding how you actually choose to place it. Since blame is often used to push all responsibility to other people, it does not compel the person blaming others in changing. Besides, it should be his fault for hooking up with such a crazy bytch.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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JonJack

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Originally posted by MetalFortress
Since you can't read, let me clarify for you: You changed it from "how can you fault her" to "it's both their faults".
Let me clarify that I said if she's happy, how can you fault her. After that I said that I personally think that she most probably won't be happy because of her attitude, thus it's both their fault.
 
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