"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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F^ck

JonJack

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Originally posted by ketostix
WTF JonJack? Even if your presumption is true (not that it necessarily is) that she's happy with the situation now and he isn't, that doesn't mean he failed. Just because a girl is a total bytch, and gets her way doesn't mean a guy's failed because she was a crazy B, that's all on her. She's still in the wrong..Talk about moral relativism.
Now who gave you the right to judge what is wrong or right for this girl without even knowing whether she even sees what she has done as being wrong or right?

This is where the danger of placing blame lies. You can blame others and deem their actions as wrong, and all the while they are all happy with hurting your ass. You're constantly telling yourself and others that it's their fault. That they are the ones making your life miserable. They are the ones that made the relationship fail. They spoilt it all.

I do not doubt that the girl is going to live an unhappy life behaving in such a manner. Her behaviour is extremely destructive and toxic. However, I do not condone placing all the blame on others when you cannot accept that loss. If you are not willing to lose something, losing it would definitely be your fault.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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MetalFortress

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Originally posted by JonJack
Only if it helps me not to see things in just black and white.
It also apparently helps you not be coherent at all. Pay attention. She dumped him because he didn't accept her being a b!tch to him. I don't care if he thinks it's his fault or not. Her friends told him that they were seeing to her, so the fact is she should have been okay with that. She's being a controlling b!tch. So yeah, it is her fault. If it made her happier doing that, then she needs a moral gut check.
 

JonJack

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Originally posted by MetalFortress
It also apparently helps you not be coherent at all. Pay attention. She dumped him because he didn't accept her being a b!tch to him. I don't care if he thinks it's his fault or not. Her friends told him that they were seeing to her, so the fact is she should have been okay with that. She's being a controlling b!tch. So yeah, it is her fault. If it made her happier doing that, then she needs a moral gut check.
As long as DrMetallica is able to let her go because she's a bytch, I agree that it's her fault. If it's hard for him to let go of a controlling bytch, then both of them are at fault.

And maybe I'm looking at it too deeply. It's difficult when you only get one side of the story and I have no idea how the girl actually feels about the whole incident.
 

MetalFortress

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Originally posted by JonJack
As long as DrMetallica is able to let her go because she's a bytch, I agree that it's her fault. If it's hard for him to let go of a controlling bytch, then both of them are at fault.

And maybe I'm looking at it too deeply. It's difficult when you only get one side of the story and I have no idea how the girl actually feels about the whole incident.
Wait, no, you just changed the story. First you said "The girl could be happier without him and I can't exactly say that it is her fault for making herself happier now can I?" and now you said "If it's hard for him to let go of a controlling bytch, then both of them are at fault." The latter at least makes sense, but you are backpedaling.
 

JonJack

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Originally posted by MetalFortress
Wait, no, you just changed the story. First you said "The girl could be happier without him and I can't exactly say that it is her fault for making herself happier now can I?" and now you said "If it's hard for him to let go of a controlling bytch, then both of them are at fault." The latter at least makes sense, but you are backpedaling.
You see, I said she 'could' be happier. However, most likely she won't be happier overall because her character is flawed. I did indeed backpedal a bit but only because I wanted to highlight the fact that the girl's position has got to be considered too.

Although the outcome is that both of them may very well share the blame, getting to this conclusion is not as easy at it seems if you do not want the same thing to happen and the same feelings to return again and again.

Blame is a very dangerous thing. It's so easy to dish it out without understanding how you actually choose to place it. Since blame is often used to push all responsibility to other people, it does not compel the person blaming others in changing. Besides, it should be his fault for hooking up with such a crazy bytch.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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JonJack

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Originally posted by MetalFortress
Since you can't read, let me clarify for you: You changed it from "how can you fault her" to "it's both their faults".
Let me clarify that I said if she's happy, how can you fault her. After that I said that I personally think that she most probably won't be happy because of her attitude, thus it's both their fault.
 
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