"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Extremely Discouraged

Spade_1

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I just got back from the gym and I've never been so discouraged.

After lifting for a month it turns out I'm weaker on the bench than when I started out. I used to be able to do my starting weight fairly easily and for the past week I've been needing a lot of help from my spotter on the same weight.

At first I thought I was just having an off day but this is now the 3rd time in a row this has happened.

What's even the point? I'm not getting any stronger or gaining mass. Reading this over I know it sounds like a b*tchy rant but yeah whatever.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Warboss Alex

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post your entire (honest) diet and workout. something is obviously not right.
 

Jariel

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I'm guessing your diet needs changing or you're overtraining. As Alex said, post your diet and workout and I'm sure he'll suss your problem in no time.
 

Spade_1

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Okay, well I'm doing Rippetoe's workout 3 times a week.

My Diet is awful I won't lie. I'll post today's diet. Btw, I'm 5'8.5 and 120 lbs.

Breakfast: Milk & Cereal- 230 Calories 10g protein

Lunch: Ham & Cheese Sandwich- 610 Calories (estimate) 29g protein
Iced Tea- 90 Calories

Snack: Milk- 110 Calories 8g protein

Pre-Workout Meal: Soy Burger- 100 Calories 18g protein

Post-Workout Meal: Whey Protein- 110 Calories 20g protein
1 Semi-Boiled Egg- 80 Calories 8g protein

Dinner: Bread (3)- 350 Calories 8g protein
Vegetables (okra)- 100 Calories 7.5g protein
Lentil Soup- 100 Calories 6g protein

Pre-Sleep Snack: Protein Bar- 210 Calories 14g protein

Total: 2090 Calories 128.5g protein

On days that I dont workout just cut out the pre/post meals. So a total would be like 1900 Calories and 82.5g protein. I know this is still terrible but I've actually been eating more and trying to fix my diet. When I started I ate like only 1600-1700 calories with only like 70g of protein. So I don't understand why I should go down.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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green69

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Spade_1 said:
Total: 2090 Calories 128.5g protein
There's your problem. 3000 calories should be a reasonable goal, and you need more protein...about 1.5g per pound of body weight.
 

shaunuk

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Yeah, you're not gonna gain mass without the calories+protein. Can't defy those laws of physics now :D

And some of your lifts going down..Rippetoe's programme is pretty intensive, squatting 3 times a week. With a crap diet you may be losing strength because your body doesn't have enough protein and calories to help you recover again. :)

-shaun
 

6-heads lewis

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Stalling happens, it's only a big deal if you're a total beginner and had a rapid nosedive. I had a sh!t first month on rippetoe and considered quitting, it turns out I just increased squat weight too fast.

Which lift are you stalling on? If you've made a lot of progress with it, you can sub it for a similar compound exercise that works the same muscles, thus improving it indirectly. From my experience on Rip, the worst exercise to stall on is squat, everything else is easy to temporarily sub.

And yeah, you gotta eat more protein. Don't count bread, that's garbage protein. Just up your meals, why are you eating 1 boiled egg? It would take the same amount of time to boil 4, so why not do that?
 

blinkwatt

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Be honest,do you like the 'program' your on? I notice alot of people that don't like their workouts tend to forget the weights they were at and even go backwards. Do you feel like you should be doing different workouts or working out another way?
 

stronglifts

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Spade_1 said:
I just got back from the gym and I've never been so discouraged.

After lifting for a month it turns out I'm weaker on the bench than when I started out. I used to be able to do my starting weight fairly easily and for the past week I've been needing a lot of help from my spotter on the same weight.

At first I thought I was just having an off day but this is now the 3rd time in a row this has happened.

What's even the point? I'm not getting any stronger or gaining mass. Reading this over I know it sounds like a b*tchy rant but yeah whatever.
you're getting "lots of help from your spotter"

From this little info, I suspect:
* you're pusing yourself beyond failure on each workout
* your're overtraining
* you don't recover, so progress starts to decrease

What I suggest:
* stop asking your spotter to help, lift the weight yourself
* remove 30% of the weight
* start doing 5x5 with the same weight, add 5lbs each workout
* control your ego & be patient

Good luck.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Spade_1

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Thanks for all the advice. I think I'm going to do lighter weights without any help from the spotter and just try and go from there.

btw, the stalling is on the bench press
 

stronglifts

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Spade_1 said:
Thanks for all the advice. I think I'm going to do lighter weights without any help from the spotter and just try and go from there.

btw, the stalling is on the bench press
report back or put your training log online here. Easier for us to comment & advise.
 

Spade_1

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I just got back from the gym. I went down 30% to 85 lbs and did six reps w/o spotter. Then went up 5lbs. for the next set and did another 6 reps at 90 lbs. Went up another 5lbs. to 95 and did six reps but on tht last rep i really had to push myself and just got it over.

You guys think next time I should start at 90 lbs and add 5 lbs to end with 100?
 

Warboss Alex

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Spade_1 said:
I just got back from the gym. I went down 30% to 85 lbs and did six reps w/o spotter. Then went up 5lbs. for the next set and did another 6 reps at 90 lbs. Went up another 5lbs. to 95 and did six reps but on tht last rep i really had to push myself and just got it over.

You guys think next time I should start at 90 lbs and add 5 lbs to end with 100?
start with 90, if 95 feels easy do 100, otherwise stay at 95..
 

blinkwatt

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Spade_1 said:
I just got back from the gym. I went down 30% to 85 lbs and did six reps w/o spotter. Then went up 5lbs. for the next set and did another 6 reps at 90 lbs. Went up another 5lbs. to 95 and did six reps but on tht last rep i really had to push myself and just got it over.

You guys think next time I should start at 90 lbs and add 5 lbs to end with 100?
If you can finish your sets with perfect form then it's time to add a little more weight.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Spade_1

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Just did 95 6x3. Thanks for the help I think I'll be back on track pretty soon.
 
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