"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Explain why 'no contact' works.
- Thread starter AlmostThere!
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Blue Phoenix
Master Don Juan
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Yeah, not being in love is crucial. Another term is the so called "Controlling the Frame", whose frame are you living in? In hers or in yours? When she gets "testy", "moody" you have to find a way not to be sucked in. If you do, she owns the frame.To combat it, we have our solid inner game, and our spinning plates, our options and our hobbies. So that we dont get insecure and the anxiety and neediness does not sweep over us.
When a girl starts acting strange, distant, moody do what the opposite of what she thinks you´re gonna do. Don´t call, don´t ask what´s wrong, don´t try to please her, don´t give her flowers, don´t argue with her, don´t get sucked in.
I´ve failed so many times in these situations that nowadays, if a girl starts acting like this, I go on with my life even though deep inside I feel uncomfortable. Don´t let them see you sweat! You don´t know if they are testing you or losing their attraction to you, but it doesn´t matter, you hold the frame!!
Blue Phoenix
Master Don Juan
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If you let her control the frame you´re in for a disaster.
So how long to wait to text her again? I think there really is a connection there we're just kinda letting things slowly build up.
2 red flags though that jump at me: 1. she has a kid (obvious...)
2. she throws a s.hit test at you ("when can we meet?") and you blow it right away by showing too much availability. I mean you can meet her "whenever", really? you have so little to do in your life, you have so few commitments that you can put anything on hold to make time for a woman you barely know? That is pretty much the message your answer conveys to her.
You should probably take a look at the DJ bible, it will have answers to many of your questions...
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
AlmostThere!
Senior Don Juan
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Yeah, you're right. That's my weakness. I would like to have a relationship and be with one girl, but I rush the process.drak_ool said:I do see one red flag in your attitude towards this chick. You seem a little too worried about making this girl "commit", even though you admit she does not seem ready to do so at this time. It would be a big mistake here to try to force her into a relationship. Simply the fact that you are considering it, but she is not, already gives her more power over you. If things evolve towards a relationship later on, it's fine. But if you want to make a gf of this chick and she just wants to have some fun with you on the side, no strings attached, you are in for a rude awakening...
I think the best way to handle this girl is not let her indecisiveness affect me. I'll keep contacting her but not in a needy way. When we hook up, we hook up. If we don't, we don't. But if the time comes when she starts having real feelings for me, and I'm still feeling her that way, then we'll be in a relationship.
I doubt any No Contact will work if she's moved on even if she had interest in you before. IS no contact coupled with her not meeting anyone new/suitable critical for No Contact to work?