"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Explain to me the concept of...

Seismic

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Being a challenge. And its correlation with playing hard to get. It creates mystery and makes the girl want more, therefore attraction goes up. But how do you make it work in your favour? Say this girl you are in a semi-relationship with is currently in control. You want to regain that control. She makes it difficult by being distant or not replying to texts... or rather, by playing games.

Speaking of playing games, how is it different than the aforementioned concepts?

Now again, she plays games... how do you reverse this and instead of her having the upper hand in the relationship, you take that from her?

I have a thread in the High School forum here, that outlines some background info on why I'm asking this... you don't have to go there. I just primarily want some clarification on these concepts. If you do go there though, be prepare to read some gruesome AFC stuff (not as bad as others though, as I may say), because I'm 17. :D

Thanks guys!


- Seis
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Chamber36

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will like pook says, we have to see ourselves as the great Catch. Women also want to see as as the great Catch. The idea behind being a challenge, is letting a woman think that she is the one seducing you, while in actuality you are the one seducing her.

So instead of approaching her you let her approach you. You just have to hang around the perifery of her life for a while and she will notice you and hopefully be intrigued. This way women won't have any doubts about you and your ulterior motives. You just come off as an easy going guy who doesn't want anything from them.
 

jafyk

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Chamber36 said:
will like pook says, we have to see ourselves as the great Catch. Women also want to see as as the great Catch. The idea behind being a challenge, is letting a woman think that she is the one seducing you, while in actuality you are the one seducing her.

So instead of approaching her you let her approach you. You just have to hang around the perifery of her life for a while and she will notice you and hopefully be intrigued. This way women won't have any doubts about you and your ulterior motives. You just come off as an easy going guy who doesn't want anything from them.
Well, said. Have you been reading the Art of Seduction as well?
 

Seismic

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Art of Seduction?

Hmm, I have read what Pook as posted. But this is what I'm confused about; how do you do it so that you always end up the one with the higher value/always the one who comes out on top?
 

Seismic

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Thanks for the detailed reply.

One more thing then; what if she's doing the same thing, as an effort to try to maintain/take control?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Seismic

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You know, you've made me realize some things I should have realized earlier. LOL

Thank you very much guys. Anyone else want to contribute? :F
 

zekko

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Chamber36 said:
will like pook says, we have to see ourselves as the great Catch. Women also want to see as as the great Catch. The idea behind being a challenge, is letting a woman think that she is the one seducing you, while in actuality you are the one seducing her.

So instead of approaching her you let her approach you. You just have to hang around the perifery of her life for a while and she will notice you and hopefully be intrigued. This way women won't have any doubts about you and your ulterior motives. You just come off as an easy going guy who doesn't want anything from them.
Well said. But note that for this to work, she is going to have to be attracted to you. This is good for making sure you end up with the right power dynamic, but if she's not interested in you, she's not going to care if you're a challenge or not.

But there are things you can do to increase the likelihood of attraction: Kino, good eye contact, stay in shape, etc.
 

Chamber36

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zekko said:
Well said. But note that for this to work, she is going to have to be attracted to you. This is good for making sure you end up with the right power dynamic, but if she's not interested in you, she's not going to care if you're a challenge or not.

But there are things you can do to increase the likelihood of attraction: Kino, good eye contact, stay in shape, etc.
Indeed, but there's no point in trying to create attraction in anyone who's not interested unless you know what specifically would change their mind, and somehow know how to plant it into their head without qualifying yourself.

Here's a quote from "The Art of Seduction", page 191. On Sending Mixed Signals.

"Nothing can proceed in seduction unless you can attract and yold your victim's attention, your physical presence becoming a haunting mental presence. It is actually quite easy to create that first stir - an alluring style of dress, a suggestive glance, something extreme about you. But what happens next? Our minds are marraged with images - not just from the media but from the disorder of daily life. And many of these images are quite striking. You become just one more thing screaming for attention; your attractiveness will pass unless you spark the more enduring kind of spell that makes people think of you in your absence. That means engaging their imaginations, making them think there is more to you than what they see. Once they start embellishing your image with their fantasies, they are hooked."
 
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