Experiment with Compliments

[zekko]

This is a something I've been wondering about, it's a question about complimenting a woman specifically on their looks.

Generally, I don't like the idea of complimenting a woman on her looks, especially if she is good looking. I think it feeds into their thinking their value is high (since women's values are so based on looks). It's also something she will often hear from AFCs if she is really attractive, so she may see it as lame or unoriginal. Or she may see her beauty as a given, and want compliments on her "mind" or something more substantial (snicker).

Anyway, just as an experiment I was wondering what would happen if I went around and complimented pretty much every woman I ran into on her looks? Something specific like "Love your curly hair" or something like that. I was wondering what kind of reaction I would get, if I would get a lot of IOIs or not.

Thing is, I don't want to run this experiment myself because I don't quite believe in the premise, and also because I'm happily in a LTR. But has anyone else tried something like this? Or even better, is there anyone here who is game to try this out?

 

[zekko]

No takers on this? How about opinions? Good idea or bad idea?
There are two seduction principles to consider, but they contradict each other:

1) People like people who make them feel good about themselves. So if you compliment them and they feel good they associate the feeling with you

or

2) You should "neg" girls so they know you consider them equal or lower value, plus attractive women get compliments on their looks all the time so they expect it.

 

[ENIGMA16]

1) People like people who make them feel good about themselves. So if you compliment them and they feel good they associate the feeling with you

or

2) You should "neg" girls so they know you consider them equal or lower value, plus attractive women get compliments on their looks all the time so they expect it.

I think there's a false dichotomy here. You are saying that you can neg girls to show them you think they are of "equal or lower value," which implies that you think compliments show them you think they are of higher value. I don't think this is true at all. It is entirely possible to compliment a woman while at the same time seeing them as of equal value.

I do not think that negs necessarily put women as lower value than yourself. Negs work because they are showing the woman that you are not putting them on a pedestal and that they are not of higher value than yourself. They work especially well on more attractive women because these women are so used to being put on a pedestal by men.

So returning to the topic presented in the OP, it depends on the context. Everything you say and do when meeting/talking to/being around a woman is meant to paint a picture of yourself to this woman of who you are personality-wise and what kind of vibe you give off. So if you are sending the correct signals to a woman and giving off a confident vibe that is not putting her on a pedestal, you can pretty much say whatever you want. Compliments work in this case, then, because you're using them as a confident and independent man that is open about what he thinks and feels. I use compliments all the time, but I work it into the situation or make it into banter or just do it after I've built up some kind of repoire with the girl I'm talking to.

Remember, it's more important how you say it and how you act when you say it rather than what you're actually saying.

 

[trainee]

I open mostly with compliments and I find that the more specific you get the more the better it is. Most girls light up and seem genuinely interested in what I have to say afterwards. But there are also some of them who will completely shut me out on occasion.

I always try to make the compliment truthful also. I won't tell a cute girl that she is drop-dead gorgeous but I exaggerate just a little bit. It's working for me but I am only just starting in this whole field.

 

[zekko]

I open mostly with compliments and I find that the more specific you get the more the better it is. Most girls light up and seem genuinely interested in what I have to say afterwards. But there are also some of them who will completely shut me out on occasion.

Yeah, I find girls light up when I compliment them also. That doesn't necessarily equate with attraction however.

As for your getting shut down, there is no approach that will work 100% of the time. Realizing this, and not being hurt by rejection (maybe even being pleased by it since at least you approached) seems to be one of the most important things to learn here.

 

[cola]

Compliments are fine, just the more frequent the more they lose there power. Maybe one compliment per encounter but deserved compliments. Like if she looks unusually pretty today, and its clear she genuinely put more effort into her appearance than she usually does than compliment her because that lets her know that are you observant.

Definately no general compliments when opening.. One lame compliment that I often overhear guys using is

WOW YOUR PRETTY!! ARE YOU A MODEL?

and I laugh because often the b!tch is just average, and knows such, and it makes him look lame.

A compliment thats sincere is very specific, and can make a female glow if used right, but it should also be followed by an IOI

example:

You: You have pretty green eyes, there very hypnotic -pause- .. Maybe one day you'd let me stare in them while we are out on a date -smile-

Just don't compliment her often .. Good behavior deserves good reciprocation.. If shes being a good date, kissing, allowing kino than give her a compliment.. But if she's being b!tchy than don't go telling her how gorgeous she is..

Good luck