Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
TV show is a very bad excuse too because in 2021 you dont even have to watch a program at the scheduled time and with streaming you can watch anytime and anywhere.If she making some exuse it means the excuse is more important than you. If the execuse is small like "I can't because I wan't to watch TV show" it means you are less important than TV show so it means that she is saying no to you. If excuse is big and valid e.g. "my granpa is ill. She is in hospital and soon she will meet our lord and saviour." then it is really important matter and should not be considered as no.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
I think that women's excuses are mostly bs anyway. I remember one girl told me "I'm sick" (bs) and "it's snowing and the roads are closed" (which was true). The next day I saw that she had been tagged that night on Facebook at a coochsurfing party.If she making some exuse it means the excuse is more important than you. If the execuse is small like "I can't because I wan't to watch TV show" it means you are less important than TV show so it means that she is saying no to you. If excuse is big and valid e.g. "my granpa is ill. She is in hospital and soon she will meet our lord and saviour." then it is really important matter and should not be considered as no.
The quality of the excuse doesn't matter. In most cases it's a lie anyway.TV show is a very bad excuse too because in 2021 you dont even have to watch a program at the scheduled time and with streaming you can watch anytime and anywhere.
It may not matter but a bad excuse like that adds insult to injury because she thinks you are stupid. If she is going to give a song and dance then at least she respects you enough to not get you offended.The quality of the excuse doesn't matter. In most cases it's a lie anyway.
If anything, a good excuse just means that she's more determined to mislead you.
It could also mean that she's just not very smart.It may not matter but a bad excuse like that adds insult to injury because she thinks you are stupid. If she is going to give a song and dance then at least she respects you enough to not get you offended.
Family emergencies aren't always valid either. Even then, I learned to delete them. And we never talk again unless that 1/256 chance happens that she calls back.If she making some exuse it means the excuse is more important than you. If the execuse is small like "I can't because I wan't to watch TV show" it means you are less important than TV show so it means that she is saying no to you. If excuse is big and valid e.g. "my granpa is ill. She is in hospital and soon she will meet our lord and saviour." then it is really important matter and should not be considered as no.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
It is a super simple equation, isn't it?This should be obvious, but some guys seem to believe women's lies.
If a woman is giving you excuses, assume she's bulshiiittting you and move on.
The thing is, women always want to present themselves as virtuous and keep men interested for as long as possible, even if they have no intention of ever getting together.Family emergencies aren't always valid either. Even then, I learned to delete them. And we never talk again unless that 1/256 chance happens that she calls back.
Anything other than a yes, complete with the proper actions to back it up, is a no. Treat it as such.
Case closed.
You're right. No second chances.Superb post, and I agree totally. I learned all this the hard way, and I now only give women ONE chance with me. ONE opportunity to prove they're someone who's worthy of my time, and if they prove otherwise (which most do, sadly) by being dishonest, rude, disrepectful or untrustworthy then I cut them off immediately and with no remorse. I do this by deleting their number, and NOT looking them up on social media (as that just fuels potential jealousy and anxiety). I move on to focusing on my own goals and pursuing more girls.
This will protect your heart, help you maintain your dignity and self-respect, and prevent you getting caught up with a girl who's just wasting your time or bringing stress, drama or negativity into your life.
It's surprising how many girls do eventually try and get back in touch with you when you cut things off like this. If they do, you will have the upper hand. I recommend being cold and indifferent if they do. Often you won't even recognise her number, since you deleted it, so you can hit them with 'who's this?', which makes them get mad as hell, which is funny.
Do not get all excited if they get back in touch. Do not ask them to get together. Instead, let her chase you and watch her squirm. If she's keen to rekindle things, hit her with 'So how are you going to make it up to me then?, and make it clear to her that she'll have to treat you like a king from that day forward - both in and out of the bedroom.
But ideally, you should not take her back.
Remember guys: always be willing to walk away.
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.