"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Exclusivity

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viking22

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Im a bit old fashioned and in my book unless you are clearly just hooking up or having a one night stand with a girl you met in a club, then once you are sleeping with someone it implies a certain commitment to one another.

Anyway so I met this girl on an online dating site. We have a few great dates, talked for hours, lots of kissing and then on our third date we went to this bar and couldn't take our eyes off each other all evening, tried to talk but just ended up kissing for hours and then lay down in a field once the bar had closed and she asked me the usual questions a good girl asks before she sleeps with a guy then we went back to hers and slept together.

The next time we met up we had dinner then went back to hers with the idea of watching a film on her computer. She turned her computer on and some guy instant messages her from msn. I do not say anything but she says "Oh that is a guy ive been chatting to on the dating website". I'm like "ok". We watch the film, I forget about it and we have a lot of sex.

The next day she is checking her emails and she logs on to the dating website in front of me and quickly checks her mails. Im only half watching but do not say anything.

But really Im a bit pissed she is still flirting with other guys on the website and if she is talking to one of the guys on msn he's going to be pushing her to meet up.

Is it my place to say anything? Or should I just get with the times, see other girls and then if me and this girl are still together in a month or two and she still hasn't brought up exclusivity I should say something then?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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jdon23

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Why pay for the cow, when you get the milk for free?

Don't ask about exclusivity unless SHE brings it up. You will fair much better this way, trust me.
 
D

DJDamage

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viking22 said:
Is it my place to say anything? Or should I just get with the times, see other girls and then if me and this girl are still together in a month or two and she still hasn't brought up exclusivity I should say something then?
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You are not exclusive so she can do whatever she wants.

The thing about this situation is that you met this chick on a dating website. As you know hot chicks (even average chicks) get tons of emails from guys wanting to hook up with them every day. I think this girl likes the attention she is getting and also is looking out for the BBD (Bigger Better Deal, if its out there).

I think its too early to say anything regarding a future with this woman so in the meantime you should go out with other women as well and don't look for LTR too soon. Maybe if you are still seeing each other 3-6 months down the road, she probably shouldn't be looking at the dating site. But as it stands right now its just too early.
 
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Interceptor

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I didnt see anywhere where you said YOU wanted her exclusivity and WHY.
What is your motivation to be exclusive with her?
Why her?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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frisco

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after sex, or the next meeting if i really like the girl i usually bring up.... so what are we.. She usually is in shock (guys never ask this), there any other guys your seeing.. (usually a yes response).. Cool, you really seem like a really badass girl.. Lets make a promise, lets not have sex with anyone else for a week.. will see, how we work out and after a week will go from there. then kiss her or have sex with her or what ever..
 
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Single_Sucks

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It's just rude and unnecessary for her to do that in fornt of you.

Just make it clear you find that to be rude, she should understand.
 
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