Ex won't stop trying to contact me..

[Hellomisslady]

So two weeks ago today I broke up with my girlfriend of one year because it was clear to me and many others that our relationship wasn't healthy and wasn't going to work... I've been doing great after the break up, I've been hanging out with friends and other girls and working on my own personal goals. BUT my ex now won't stop trying to contact me.

We didn't talk for the first week after we broke up, and then she started trying to get me to talk to her again. I ignored all her messages up until two nights ago when I finally just responded to one of them with "Some day hopefully we'll be able to just be friends, hope you're doing ok etc..."

That seemed to open pandora's box because at 1 am after that she sent me a 13 message long text about how she wants to stay friends and doesn't want to lose her best friend in all of this too, and told me to let her know what I think. I didn't answer, so the next day (yesterday) she said "answer my text kiddo!"

I didn't respond to that either, so 7 hours later she started sending me texts, 5 of them over the hour, telling me to contact her and let her know I was ok. I didn't answer until two hours later just because it was annoying getting messaged so much with the same thing, and all I said was "I'm ok."

She responded later with an essay of responses beginning with I've been a jerk the last two weeks because I haven't been talking to her, to a couple hours later apologizing and asking to hang out this weekend as friends and go do things that we did as a couple, as friends...

I obviously know that two weeks is no where near enough time for any of that to be appropriate, but I don't know if I should respond to her or not or what I should even say.. any help?

Thanks guys

 

[ManManMan]

Tell her straight that you intend to cut all contact with her now.

It all actually depends on what you want?

Dont feel weird-ed out because of the clinginess she showed you...that's just because the post-relationship trauma is over her, which would be over you too, prolly in a month.


Tell her what you want. You wanna stay friends? Great, but start out gradually, dont hang out with her for too long. Cut short your time with her.

You dont wanna do anything with her, tell her about it, sugar coated.



IMO, she's just trying out one last time with you, before telling herself that Yes, this is the time to move on and fvck with someone else.


Woman thinking.

 

[Skalioppe]

Women are chained slaves to their fvcked up emotions and you've inadvertently played a game on that part of her brain no end, so it's in full short circuit Chernobyl melt down, confused, desperate with the full gamut of grieving emotions desperately trying to cling on to you and what you both had. So it will be throwing every emotional response it can in panic to save what it had, hence the randomness of her response. By replying, her emotions think you still love her, by not replying she's isolated in desperation land, forlorn and fvcked up needing that contact hit, like a junkie needs their smack. She's craving any sort of response from you, that's contact, that's connection that (in her fvcked mind) means you still care.

In all honesty, you've created a full on Frankenstein "bunny boiler" by dumping, breaking NC with that reply and then ignoring her again.

My advice, you need to send one coherent unambiguous text "We both need time to come to terms with the fact our relationship is over. It's definitely not helping me (or perhaps you) communicating whilst this is occurring, so I won't be replying / sending anything until I feel ready to. Please don't get angry, attempt to reason or bargain with me during this period as I simply won't reply. I'm sorry if this hurts, it's not done maliciously, but it's to help us both in the long run. I'll be in touch when I'm ready."

 

[slickone]

I think the best move is strict NC.

**** her.

One of my second or third tier plates about 6 weeks ago said that she wanted to "take a break" and that she had to go "cold turkey" on me.

Part of my problem is that she was second or third tier but more recently I had spent more time with her.

Always treated her as a pure FB. Spent maybe two to three days a month with her. Usually just enough time to go over talk for a little bit and screw.

So as this BS progressed she went physically cold. Used to be a total nympho. Was first guy that ever made her squirt and there were no complaints in the boning department.

But she got bored. Felt it wasn't going anywhere. Accused me of making it a booty call.

Probably a little LSE and didn't help that she had GF who told her she should be getting more out of a relationship.

Bumped into her a few times in the last few weeks at mutual friend events. Gave me a BJ but was about a month since we screwed.

So I went total DARK NINJA No Contact

She is going nuts

My birthday was this last Monday, she sends 5 texts from 430 am to 1130 pm

No response on my end

She was just a FB so my emotional investment was minimal

Any chick that bails deserves no contact

It is for your sanity

She is not coming back

Using chick logic she has taken you off that pedestal

She's already going out on dates blowing other guys and screwing them

Harsh reality but these are things that, in the past, I've heard from girls and their friends

You said or did something beta or something that makes them think they are justified to go behind your back

There are plenty of chicks out there

Never go back or look back

Not worth it

Maintain no contact

BTW since no contact from her been bedding a 22 year old 26 year old

And going to Costa Rica on Friday which is Vegas on STEROIDS

Hope this helps

 

[Upside]

Women are chained slaves to their fvcked up emotions and you've inadvertently played a game that part of her brain no end, so it's in full short circuit Chernobyl melt down, confused, desperate with the full gamut of grieving emotions desperately trying to cling on to you and what you both had. So it will be throwing every emotional response it can in panic to save what it had, hence the randomness of her response. By replying, her emotions think you still love her, by not replying she's isolated in desperation land, forlorn and fvcked up needing that contact hit, like a junkie needs their smack. She's craving any sort of response from you, that's contact, that's connection that (in her fvcked mind) means you still care.

In all honesty, you've created a full on Frankenstein "bunny boiler" by dumping, breaking NC with that reply and then ignoring her again.

Post of the year. Love the writing style.