So yeah the biploar girl I was dating, who I just took a break from is now sending my friends...particularly my roommate gchat invites. Why does she want to add my friends to her gchat group? Can't she just walk away? I haven't contacted her since the weekend...I don't get it. If it all of it meant nothing to you then why pull something like this?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Ex Wants To Chat With My Friends?
- Thread starter rocket
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Relationship-Buddy
Don Juan
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Do you think she is trying to make you jealous or just trying to make you angry?
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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Again its Borderline Personality Disorder.
And she's doing it to get a reaction out of you.
Don't react.
And she's doing it to get a reaction out of you.
Don't react.
I'm in the Mood
Master Don Juan
I think u shouldn't care what she does if u think it's stupid.
She probably just wants to fvck with ya but, don't even make anything out of it. Be like it's no big deal, don't even mention it anyway.
Plus it's your ex. My personal belief is that if you breakup with someone, you have to move on. If she really liked you, she might be trying to make you regret dumping her or whatever.
Above all tho, shes bipolar, which means u have to deal with sht sometimes. I don't think it's worth the trouble, unless you're genuinely interested in her.
She probably just wants to fvck with ya but, don't even make anything out of it. Be like it's no big deal, don't even mention it anyway.
Plus it's your ex. My personal belief is that if you breakup with someone, you have to move on. If she really liked you, she might be trying to make you regret dumping her or whatever.
Above all tho, shes bipolar, which means u have to deal with sht sometimes. I don't think it's worth the trouble, unless you're genuinely interested in her.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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Absolutely anything.rocket said:got bpd, not going to react. but what kind of reaction is she looking for?
From you telling your friends to stay away from her and then them telling her what you said, to you outright confronting her and telling her to stay away from your friends or you just acting annoyed to her about what she's doing etc.
Absolutely any response to her from you no matter how trivial can be perceived by her as her getting to you emotionally.
So don't do anything of the sort just act casual around her if you have to be in her presence at all and avoid talking to her as much as you can and if she ever calls you or emails you give no response whatsoever.
If you are in a public scenario where you feel you are forced to talk to her to avoid appearing awkward act boring an uninterested in what she has to say.
Edit: Just to make myself even more clear about BPD it stands for Borderline Personality Disorder.
There is no equivalent abbreviation for Bipolar Disorder.
I think this is a double edged sword, if she is really sick in the head.KontrollerX said:From you telling your friends to stay away from her.
If he tells her friends to stay away from her, she gets the reaction she craves.
If he doesn't, then she could go fvck one or few of his buddies and turn them against him (if she is the revengeful type). Lets hope she doesn't have the full blown BPD and she won't go that far.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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Good point Damage.
I suppose you can warn your friends that she is very mentally ill and use whatever language about that you feel can drive the point home but there's not much more you can do after that.
Depending on how hot she is or how well she mindgames your male friends she may ruin their lives despite your best intentions at preventing their being destroyed by her.
It really is a double edged sword to warn or not warn your friends about her.
"what does that type of response do to someone with bpd?"
Not reacting to them drives them fvcking nuts.
I've talked to a BPD and an HPD who were both working hard to recover from their disorders and they basically told me this and I verified it on my own to be true.
The HPD told me about how an NPD guy had her absolutely nuts over him because he would not react to her scams to get him back in her life and wanting her.
She knew he was an NPD because she's a mental health professional (scary I know) so she understands her disorder better than most as well the other Cluster B disorders.
Edit: Also my second HPD/BPD girlfriend told me one of her ex boyfriends had gotten rid of her and to try and lure him back she made some kind of call to him saying she was in the hospital near death just to get him to talk to her again. Really crazy sh!t.
I suppose you can warn your friends that she is very mentally ill and use whatever language about that you feel can drive the point home but there's not much more you can do after that.
Depending on how hot she is or how well she mindgames your male friends she may ruin their lives despite your best intentions at preventing their being destroyed by her.
It really is a double edged sword to warn or not warn your friends about her.
"what does that type of response do to someone with bpd?"
Not reacting to them drives them fvcking nuts.
I've talked to a BPD and an HPD who were both working hard to recover from their disorders and they basically told me this and I verified it on my own to be true.
The HPD told me about how an NPD guy had her absolutely nuts over him because he would not react to her scams to get him back in her life and wanting her.
She knew he was an NPD because she's a mental health professional (scary I know) so she understands her disorder better than most as well the other Cluster B disorders.
Edit: Also my second HPD/BPD girlfriend told me one of her ex boyfriends had gotten rid of her and to try and lure him back she made some kind of call to him saying she was in the hospital near death just to get him to talk to her again. Really crazy sh!t.