Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Ex still affecting me

Aesthetic Indian

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So I really got some sound advice the last time I posted here and I'm hoping for something similar, my ex(20f) and I 21(m) broke up about 6 months ago, she was my first girlfriend, love and basically my first everything so I was super attached. I was her Third boyfriend and she was just more practical than me, now I'm not gonna take all the blame but I did mess up and so did she and basically we weren't a good fit. Fast forward her and I were still " friends" for 2 months and would keep going out for lunches and **** and I realized that this really isn't healthy so we called it quits, and actually ended on super bad terms whereas at first it was very amicable. We'd sit in the same class room together and not even look at each other. Now we've graduated and I blocked/removed her on all social media because I don't wanna be privy to the details of her life anymore. Here is where the problem begins, my friend yesterday told me that his friend ( my aquaintance) has matched with my ex on bumble and they're talking and will probably meet, on the outside I acted all cool like it doesn't matter, good for them, it's been 6 months because I didn't wanna show to my friend that this ****ed me up. I'd rather have him not have told me but people gossip and we live in the same city, so I guess I can't really hold it against him. I'm upset because the cognitive dissonance is too much, this is a girl who always made fun of me for having a tinder when we were single, she's never hooked up in her life and now is on dating apps, told me she won't be able to move on for years and doesn't wanna date . What the ****?? It's so much worse coz I know the dude, I wouldn't mind if it was a stranger. I don't know how to deal with these emotions coz its such a huge setback to my healing. I was doing ****ing brilliant. I will be better in a month because I'm going to Russia for a month with my friend and will be trying to get laid as much as I can, but I just don't know how to deal with this right now, I did not expect her to become the person she has become.
 

sosousage

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So I really got some sound advice the last time I posted here and I'm hoping for something similar, my ex(20f) and I 21(m) broke up about 6 months ago, she was my first girlfriend, love and basically my first everything so I was super attached. I was her Third boyfriend and she was just more practical than me, now I'm not gonna take all the blame but I did mess up and so did she and basically we weren't a good fit. Fast forward her and I were still " friends" for 2 months and would keep going out for lunches and **** and I realized that this really isn't healthy so we called it quits, and actually ended on super bad terms whereas at first it was very amicable. We'd sit in the same class room together and not even look at each other. Now we've graduated and I blocked/removed her on all social media because I don't wanna be privy to the details of her life anymore. Here is where the problem begins, my friend yesterday told me that his friend ( my aquaintance) has matched with my ex on bumble and they're talking and will probably meet, on the outside I acted all cool like it doesn't matter, good for them, it's been 6 months because I didn't wanna show to my friend that this ****ed me up. I'd rather have him not have told me but people gossip and we live in the same city, so I guess I can't really hold it against him. I'm upset because the cognitive dissonance is too much, this is a girl who always made fun of me for having a tinder when we were single, she's never hooked up in her life and now is on dating apps, told me she won't be able to move on for years and doesn't wanna date . What the ****?? It's so much worse coz I know the dude, I wouldn't mind if it was a stranger. I don't know how to deal with these emotions coz its such a huge setback to my healing. I was doing ****ing brilliant. I will be better in a month because I'm going to Russia for a month with my friend and will be trying to get laid as much as I can, but I just don't know how to deal with this right now, I did not expect her to become the person she has become.
i can fell your qq
 

RickTheToad

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So I really got some sound advice the last time I posted here and I'm hoping for something similar, my ex(20f) and I 21(m) broke up about 6 months ago, she was my first girlfriend, love and basically my first everything so I was super attached. I was her Third boyfriend and she was just more practical than me, now I'm not gonna take all the blame but I did mess up and so did she and basically we weren't a good fit. Fast forward her and I were still " friends" for 2 months and would keep going out for lunches and **** and I realized that this really isn't healthy so we called it quits, and actually ended on super bad terms whereas at first it was very amicable. We'd sit in the same class room together and not even look at each other. Now we've graduated and I blocked/removed her on all social media because I don't wanna be privy to the details of her life anymore. Here is where the problem begins, my friend yesterday told me that his friend ( my aquaintance) has matched with my ex on bumble and they're talking and will probably meet, on the outside I acted all cool like it doesn't matter, good for them, it's been 6 months because I didn't wanna show to my friend that this ****ed me up. I'd rather have him not have told me but people gossip and we live in the same city, so I guess I can't really hold it against him. I'm upset because the cognitive dissonance is too much, this is a girl who always made fun of me for having a tinder when we were single, she's never hooked up in her life and now is on dating apps, told me she won't be able to move on for years and doesn't wanna date . What the ****?? It's so much worse coz I know the dude, I wouldn't mind if it was a stranger. I don't know how to deal with these emotions coz its such a huge setback to my healing. I was doing ****ing brilliant. I will be better in a month because I'm going to Russia for a month with my friend and will be trying to get laid as much as I can, but I just don't know how to deal with this right now, I did not expect her to become the person she has become.
Learn how to uses paragraphs. Aside from that, what's your question?
 

marmel75

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Are you mad because you think he is going to fvck her better than you?
 

backseatjuan

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my ex(20f) and I 21(m)
Wonderful! I see how you pointed out that your girlfriend is female and you are male. Amazing. Makes me wonder if you two had sexual relations between you two.

Your problem is you. Your champdom twisted sense of reality is affecting you. You gotta hit the gym and hit the dating scene, you are not ready for relationship, you're too fragile and immature for a long term relationship. Once you grow up, and once your body becomes masculine, you will have lots of options around you, and you will graduate past long term relationship nonsense and will be spinning plates.

Your best friends are two youtube channels at the moment, athlean x, which will teach you that doing exercises properly is by far more important that just doing them, and ams, which will hopefully cure your feminine side.

Now don't be going bigdave on us, follow through with gym, at age 21 is perfect timing to get that killer body and become that btch slayer.
 

GrowingPains

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I've been there boss. Very similar situation.


I felt the way you did. 'Man I was progressing so we'll wtf now this'.

You need to realize that this instance doesn't really matter. You need to figure out how you feel about the situation, come to terms with it and keep on moving on. You're stronger than this big man. Keep your composure, mind over matter is what it all comes down to.

Women say a lot of things. Sometimes they say they won't fvck your best friend and then they do. Actions speak louder than words bro, never take what people say too seriously. But always be a man of your word.
 

Aesthetic Indian

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Thanks a lot for your support man, it just makes it so hard for me because I feel like she's a complete stranger to me now, my first ever girlfriend who once loved me more than anything is just so cold now and is easily going upon her life
 

Aesthetic Indian

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Wonderful! I see how you pointed out that your girlfriend is female and you are male. Amazing. Makes me wonder if you two had sexual relations between you two.

Your problem is you. Your champdom twisted sense of reality is affecting you. You gotta hit the gym and hit the dating scene, you are not ready for relationship, you're too fragile and immature for a long term relationship. Once you grow up, and once your body becomes masculine, you will have lots of options around you, and you will graduate past long term relationship nonsense and will be spinning plates.

Your best friends are two youtube channels at the moment, athlean x, which will teach you that doing exercises properly is by far more important that just doing them, and ams, which will hopefully cure your feminine side.

Now don't be going bigdave on us, follow through with gym, at age 21 is perfect timing to get that killer body and become that btch slayer.
I guess you'd be able to empathize more if you dial back to the time you experienced your first heartbreak. And as per the gym advice, yes that's always my first go to. Been lifting for almost 4 years rn, my deadlifts at 2.6 of my bodyweight and I'm working out 5 days a week for approximately 1.5 hours. I think I'm pretty sorted on the gym front but thanks for the advice!
 

GrowingPains

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Thanks a lot for your support man, it just makes it so hard for me because I feel like she's a complete stranger to me now, my first ever girlfriend who once loved me more than anything is just so cold now and is easily going upon her life
You don't know that. But it doesn't matter. I understand you want her to look and feel the way you do. But the fact that she looks like she's living life is even more reason for you to stop dreading the situation and find your own way.

She doesn't exist anymore. She is a memory but do not let her take up RAM, you get me?
 

ace88

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It sucks i feel you.

Hit up your friends go get drinks, just Do... do... do and then do some more. Only doing stuff will get you over her. Put yourself out there. Join a club, get drinks, hit on women.



Dont put yourself down, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and teaches you. Women are nonsensical. Forget about what she said 6months ago things change. Do your thing she is history.
 

Aesthetic Indian

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Learn how to uses paragraphs. Aside from that, what's your question?
My question kind of is also can I be pissed off at my friend who told me? Like the reason I've blocked her everywhere is so I don't have to be privy to the details of her life, but this friend came and told me his friend is gonna go on a date with her? What's the intention of him telling me that? Just for banter?
 

RickTheToad

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My

My question kind of is also can I be pissed off at my friend who told me? Like the reason I've blocked her everywhere is so I don't have to be privy to the details of her life, but this friend came and told me his friend is gonna go on a date with her? What's the intention of him telling me that? Just for banter?
Prob. to guage your reaction to see if you are okay with it. There's an old saying, bro's before ho's. He should follow it if you two are really friends.
 

Chev.Chelios

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same old stories..

men are addicted to women/girlfriends worse then junkies are on heroin.

what causes this? social conditioning and the fabric of society/moral values makes you this way.

monogamous beta males make the perfect worker bees.

free men who have no emotions or ego towards women being their fairytale princess lovers forever and forever are more like outlaws/pirates not commiting themselves to mainstream life, but rather set out on their own to live life for themselves.

in order for men to stop the cycle of heartbreak and despair over pvssy they must betray themselves, everything they were taught, braught up to be, duty, family, everything.. and live as a free hoomen.

serously though, much easier to get a guy off drugs then it is to help a dude crying over his ex.

i dont even bother to help or talk to them anymore because they are such a goddamn trainwreck.

give them a 2 hour speil about being a player and they say a hundred times "omg your right thanks so much man, im better now im over her" then the next day hes back at her house brown nosing worse then before.

heartbroken men are the most pathetic little cry baby slaves ive ever met
 

ace88

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Prob. to guage your reaction to see if you are okay with it. There's an old saying, bro's before ho's. He should follow it if you two are really friends.
Yea of its your friend trying to **** her he aint a friend.
 

Young OG

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it just makes it so hard for me because I feel like she's a complete stranger to me now, my first ever girlfriend who once loved me more than anything is just so cold now and is easily going upon her life
I know how you feel. When my kids mom cheated on me and we broke up, I felt like I didn't even know her anymore. I felt like she had become a totally different person. The truth is that she was always that person. She just put on a act around me. This is just the way women are. They are incapable of truly loving a man for who he really is. They only love what the man can do for them. They can't help it because they are hard wired to be like that by nature.

It might not seem like this now, but you will get over this. Your still young. You have many more years and many more women ahead of you. Do whatever you can do to keep your mind off of her. Keep yourself busy. The best way to forget about a girl is to find a new one.
 

Spaz

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I've never fully understood the intense heartbreak that some men goes through post break-up.

I've been through many break-ups, and yes I've sometimes regretted my actions or miss their company on some lonely nights but it also dissipates as fast as it arrives.

I think men who are naturally egotistical has much to fear.

Perhaps it's best to change that egoistic mindset to a determined mindset.

And suddenly she's dismissed....
 

Chev.Chelios

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I've known a lot of beta/blue pill guys in my life. I really don't bother to give them any type of advice because they are addicted to the emotions of romance like a drug fiend, like you said. Look at music for example. Romance is a multi-billion dollar industry. It hits all of your dopamine receptors like a drug. Sometimes I would listen to a love song and I would somehow manifest a situation where a woman would try to cuck me. Sounds funny but it's true. Music has the power to change your vibration. And a lot love songs make people feel needy. They were probably written by blue pill beta cucks. The programming is everywhere, even in our music.

As men, we are not supposed to wallow around all day in feminine energy. The only type of feminine energy you should allow yourself to be surrounded by is a real life sexy woman who wants you. Everything else is a surrogate and a cop out.

We are supposed to surround ourselves with masculine energy. Achievement, hard work, success, striving to transcend our limitations, becoming enlightened, etc. Our struggle in life is achieving total freedom in all areas of life. Until we get there, we are still a slave in some form or another. Even our sports are a symbolism of reaching a finish line or breaking through obstacles and overcoming adversity. This is the masculine polarity/imperative. Failure to embark on this journey will lead to depression, self pity, lack of swagger, and a limp d1ck.
love music makes people manifest a situation to get cucked by a girl lolol so true xD
 

daproest1

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I've never fully understood the intense heartbreak that some men goes through post break-up.

I've been through many break-ups, and yes I've sometimes regretted my actions or miss their company on some lonely nights but it also dissipates as fast as it arrives.

I think men who are naturally egotistical has much to fear.

Perhaps it's best to change that egoistic mindset to a determined mindset.

And suddenly she's dismissed....
Lucky you. If you could make a pill to make it not matter to us, that’s be great and you’d be rich. It sucks.
 

Spaz

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Lucky you. If you could make a pill to make it not matter to us, that’s be great and you’d be rich. It sucks.
The pill is made from determination in the factory of mindset.

All you need is to buy it and then swallow it whole.
 
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