docv
Don Juan
mrruckus i hear you i kinda lost it after the breakup and let my emotions get the best of me, trying to stoop to her level and play those little games. rather mebarassing looking back.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
ex left - same old song and dance
- Thread starter docv
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
doc,
First things first - admit that you want her back. Nothing wrong with that bro, you were together for 5 years, you were planning your future together and now that is gone. That'll take a while to get your head around, and indeed it will take a while before you can actually start backing some of your words with actions (ie "Nexting" her).
You're talking the talk (maybe to avoid being labelled as someone with 'oneitis'?) and what you're saying is spot on....but I don't think you would actually follow through with it if she were to ask for you back.
If you were truly ready to next her, you wouldn't be leaving away messages for her friends (you wouldn't care what her friends or her think), you wouldn't be checking how often her friend has checked your pic and you most certainly wouldn't be here asking what her next move might be...because again, you wouldn't care.
I think you want someone to tell you that she might come back - and to be honest she very well might. You might want to start reading about how to get yourself to a stage where you can tell her to f-off if she does come back.
Not criticising you bro - just an honest observation.
First things first - admit that you want her back. Nothing wrong with that bro, you were together for 5 years, you were planning your future together and now that is gone. That'll take a while to get your head around, and indeed it will take a while before you can actually start backing some of your words with actions (ie "Nexting" her).
You're talking the talk (maybe to avoid being labelled as someone with 'oneitis'?) and what you're saying is spot on....but I don't think you would actually follow through with it if she were to ask for you back.
If you were truly ready to next her, you wouldn't be leaving away messages for her friends (you wouldn't care what her friends or her think), you wouldn't be checking how often her friend has checked your pic and you most certainly wouldn't be here asking what her next move might be...because again, you wouldn't care.
I think you want someone to tell you that she might come back - and to be honest she very well might. You might want to start reading about how to get yourself to a stage where you can tell her to f-off if she does come back.
Not criticising you bro - just an honest observation.
docv
Don Juan
amacada - youre right i do admit i want her back but i believe its only natural at this point. i just need to get it through my head i am better off without her and that shes a hor. and i need to stop thinking about her and continue to keep busy with work, friends, etc.
one thing that stumps me is why she would check up on me on AIM instead of just blocking me. shes a strange one, thats for sure.
one thing that stumps me is why she would check up on me on AIM instead of just blocking me. shes a strange one, thats for sure.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
The average person is somewhat masochistic. Even though logically they know that there is a good chance of them getting even more bad feeling by not cutting the ties, they can't help but watch in hopes that they can get a glimpse of some carnage. Kinda like drivers who slow down to stare at a car wreck.docv said:
Deep down they know that the chances of them having an accident themselves goes up whenever their eyes leave the road in front of them; but maybe, just maybe they will feed their need for shock and awe by seeing a little carnage. If they do, they just compare that poor soul's immediate state to their own and almost 100% of the time, the rubberneckers state is at least a little better.
docv
Don Juan
francisco - thats an interesting perspective. unfortunately for her shes the one in the wreck right now and she has had a rude awakening hearing and finding out that i am A-OK and hanging with a new chic. 
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
The sweetest revenge is showing them that you have moved on.docv said:francisco - thats an interesting perspective. unfortunately for her shes the one in the wreck right now and she has had a rude awakening hearing and finding out that i am A-OK and hanging with a new chic.
docv
Don Juan
yes karma is a $%#!& isnt it! i have it made right now. i got a promotion at my job recently and am making bank and i am back in the gym getting jacked while my idiotic ex is going flat broke because she is trying to maintain the lifestyle i provided her and pay some of the bills i was paying (such as her 300/month car payment). my buddy just told me his GF told him my ex got over 20 overdraft fees in her bank since we broke up and is currently broke as a joke. unreal.
ThunderMaverick
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2004
- Messages
- 1,945
- Reaction score
- 70
- Age
- 45
JESUS!woods said:
docv
Don Juan
ok more developments. i have moved on and am dating another young hottie.
in the meantime, my buddy's girlfriend told him - and he told me - that my ex has now received over 30 over draft fees in her bank and that she is flat broke and cannot even pay rent. she has already borrowed 6k from her parents and 1500 from her boss last month right after she walked out on me.
unbelievable. i know she wouldnt come back just for the money (i make 3 times what she does), and i know there are residual feelings she has for me.. she is prolly really pissed off and in her own little mind prolly blames me. go figure!
has anyone seen this type of situation before when the ex leaves and it is NOT for another guy and then they fall flat on their face financially?
i found out she and her friend have checked up on me a few times over the past couple weeks, and they see i am doing just great and even heard about the new hottie.
my ex broke up with me and started ignoring me so i stopped trying to contact her.
what are some common possibilities that may happen here now that $hit is really hitting the fan for the ex?
in the meantime, my buddy's girlfriend told him - and he told me - that my ex has now received over 30 over draft fees in her bank and that she is flat broke and cannot even pay rent. she has already borrowed 6k from her parents and 1500 from her boss last month right after she walked out on me.
unbelievable. i know she wouldnt come back just for the money (i make 3 times what she does), and i know there are residual feelings she has for me.. she is prolly really pissed off and in her own little mind prolly blames me. go figure!
has anyone seen this type of situation before when the ex leaves and it is NOT for another guy and then they fall flat on their face financially?
i found out she and her friend have checked up on me a few times over the past couple weeks, and they see i am doing just great and even heard about the new hottie.
my ex broke up with me and started ignoring me so i stopped trying to contact her.
what are some common possibilities that may happen here now that $hit is really hitting the fan for the ex?
Docs
Banned
Hmmm, our usernames are alike
She ignored you to give herself validation that it's your fault. Slowly, she's going to find out that it's not your fault, that she walked out and discovered that she's in a world of hurt. Namely..she's going to try to get ahold of you somehow...
She ignored you to give herself validation that it's your fault. Slowly, she's going to find out that it's not your fault, that she walked out and discovered that she's in a world of hurt. Namely..she's going to try to get ahold of you somehow...
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Quote:
Originally Posted by woods
Anybody else here heard this one???
(chick broke my heart, for another guy, we were still living together, I was going INSANE)
Her: "can I borrow 50 bucks so I can get my birth control this month?"
I can laugh about it now, but I dont even remeber how I responded, but it wasnt pretty.
Originally Posted by woods
Anybody else here heard this one???
(chick broke my heart, for another guy, we were still living together, I was going INSANE)
Her: "can I borrow 50 bucks so I can get my birth control this month?"
I can laugh about it now, but I dont even remeber how I responded, but it wasnt pretty.
You like that one? I dont think I've ever been kicked in the balls as hard as that!!!!ThunderMaverick said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Good one!insomniac said:
docv
Don Juan
Docs said:Hmmm, our usernames are alike
She ignored you to give herself validation that it's your fault. Slowly, she's going to find out that it's not your fault, that she walked out and discovered that she's in a world of hurt. Namely..she's going to try to get ahold of you somehow...
interesting forecast doc. she is definitely in a world of hurt and seeking help and advice from her friends. she got an eviction letter at her new place cuz her rent check bounced. she only has 2 options:
1) borrow 2500 from someone immediately (seeing as she has another months rent due on the 1st amongst all her other bills)
2) attempt to fall back on me
i'm sure the topic has come up about her crawling back to me for help and consoling (not only because we were together for 5 years, but also because I am LOADED). however, i am certain she is being advised to NOT get a hold of me as the fall back. :nono:
i wonder if that advice will hold water. tic toc tic toc......
Thank your blessing that you were able to get out of this mess. This situation could have been much worse, some women like this one are just like blood sucking leeches, she could have hung on to you and cleaned your bank account underneath your nose and walked out of your life.
I don't even understand why you were financing her car, if she can't do it on her own then she doesn't deserve to own a car. By giving her money you end up teaching the woman that she can use you like her personal ATM machine. Lucky you didn't get married and have kids because I could see a vampire like her getting pregnant just so you will pay her child support for 20 years.
I wouldn't be surprise if this woman comes crawling back to you since it was a bad investment on her part to dump you and now she is paying for it through the nose. You got rid of a bad apple, now go and find good one's.
I don't even understand why you were financing her car, if she can't do it on her own then she doesn't deserve to own a car. By giving her money you end up teaching the woman that she can use you like her personal ATM machine. Lucky you didn't get married and have kids because I could see a vampire like her getting pregnant just so you will pay her child support for 20 years.
I wouldn't be surprise if this woman comes crawling back to you since it was a bad investment on her part to dump you and now she is paying for it through the nose. You got rid of a bad apple, now go and find good one's.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
Better be ready to roll if she does come calling.
If you do financial things together before marriage, better use a good business sense. Take me for example.
My gf needed a new car. She has no credit. So, my mom sells us her car for a good 4 grand under bluebook value. I put the loan in my name, and my gf pays for it. Sound risky? Of course, but.....
If we break up, I could sell the car to her and her loan co-signer (whoever that may be) for what she owes. If she's an *******.....
I sell the car and make a cool 4 grand. Gotta be smart, my man. Never pigeon hole yourself with a woman, esp. with money.
If you do financial things together before marriage, better use a good business sense. Take me for example.
My gf needed a new car. She has no credit. So, my mom sells us her car for a good 4 grand under bluebook value. I put the loan in my name, and my gf pays for it. Sound risky? Of course, but.....
If we break up, I could sell the car to her and her loan co-signer (whoever that may be) for what she owes. If she's an *******.....
I sell the car and make a cool 4 grand. Gotta be smart, my man. Never pigeon hole yourself with a woman, esp. with money.
Docs
Banned
^ Nice.
docv
Don Juan
DJDamage said:
i dont think she's that caniving as it may have sounded from my original description because she was paying ALL of the rent and utilities at our old place and i was paying for all entertainment, vacations, food, wining and dining, her car and my car.
we did get into an argument about a month before we broke up about money. she complained about how i was not paying rent but when i tried to explain to her that i pay more than twice as much per month towards bills she just didnt get it. i should have just paid rent and had her pay for the other $hit. now shes realizing how much it costs to live that lifestyle.
i wouldnt be surprised if she blames me for her current problems and doesnt come crawling back; BUT her options are limited at this point.
Docs
Banned
You know what. Stop worrying about her. It's clearly a focus point of your daily life. She walked out, she now has to deal with it all, and you aren't going to take her back, so there's no point in wondering anymore. You know she's headed downhill, and that should be the last thing you need or want to hear.
Move on buddy. It is time.
Move on buddy. It is time.
docv
Don Juan
to be perfectly honest with you i would take her back if she came crawling but it would be on my terms and she would have to kiss some serious ass and eat from the palm of my hand. also i wouldnt bail her out of her problems either, instead i would help her to 'figure it out'.
after 5 years its tough to just forget about a person. and some of you guys are right in saying that what i might subconsciously be looking for is someone to tell me she might try to come crawling back.
i'm not worried about her, i realize she brough this on herself. i am more curious with what may or may not happen next, if anything.
after 5 years its tough to just forget about a person. and some of you guys are right in saying that what i might subconsciously be looking for is someone to tell me she might try to come crawling back.
i'm not worried about her, i realize she brough this on herself. i am more curious with what may or may not happen next, if anything.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.