ex left - same old song and dance

[docv]

mrruckus i hear you i kinda lost it after the breakup and let my emotions get the best of me, trying to stoop to her level and play those little games. rather mebarassing looking back.

 

[Amacada]

doc,
First things first - admit that you want her back. Nothing wrong with that bro, you were together for 5 years, you were planning your future together and now that is gone. That'll take a while to get your head around, and indeed it will take a while before you can actually start backing some of your words with actions (ie "Nexting" her).

You're talking the talk (maybe to avoid being labelled as someone with 'oneitis'?) and what you're saying is spot on....but I don't think you would actually follow through with it if she were to ask for you back.

If you were truly ready to next her, you wouldn't be leaving away messages for her friends (you wouldn't care what her friends or her think), you wouldn't be checking how often her friend has checked your pic and you most certainly wouldn't be here asking what her next move might be...because again, you wouldn't care.
I think you want someone to tell you that she might come back - and to be honest she very well might. You might want to start reading about how to get yourself to a stage where you can tell her to f-off if she does come back.

Not criticising you bro - just an honest observation.

 

[docv]

amacada - youre right i do admit i want her back but i believe its only natural at this point. i just need to get it through my head i am better off without her and that shes a hor. and i need to stop thinking about her and continue to keep busy with work, friends, etc.

one thing that stumps me is why she would check up on me on AIM instead of just blocking me. shes a strange one, thats for sure.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...one thing that stumps me is why she would check up on me on AIM instead of just blocking me. shes a strange one, thats for sure.

The average person is somewhat masochistic. Even though logically they know that there is a good chance of them getting even more bad feeling by not cutting the ties, they can't help but watch in hopes that they can get a glimpse of some carnage. Kinda like drivers who slow down to stare at a car wreck.

Deep down they know that the chances of them having an accident themselves goes up whenever their eyes leave the road in front of them; but maybe, just maybe they will feed their need for shock and awe by seeing a little carnage. If they do, they just compare that poor soul's immediate state to their own and almost 100% of the time, the rubberneckers state is at least a little better.

 

[docv]

francisco - thats an interesting perspective. unfortunately for her shes the one in the wreck right now and she has had a rude awakening hearing and finding out that i am A-OK and hanging with a new chic.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

francisco - thats an interesting perspective. unfortunately for her shes the one in the wreck right now and she has had a rude awakening hearing and finding out that i am A-OK and hanging with a new chic.

The sweetest revenge is showing them that you have moved on.

 

[docv]

yes karma is a $%#!& isnt it! i have it made right now. i got a promotion at my job recently and am making bank and i am back in the gym getting jacked while my idiotic ex is going flat broke because she is trying to maintain the lifestyle i provided her and pay some of the bills i was paying (such as her 300/month car payment). my buddy just told me his GF told him my ex got over 20 overdraft fees in her bank since we broke up and is currently broke as a joke. unreal.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Anybody else here heard this one???
(chick broke my heart, for another guy, we were still living together, I was going INSANE)

Her: "can I borrow 50 bucks so I can get my birth control this month?"
I can laugh about it now, but I dont even remeber how I responded, but it wasnt pretty.

JESUS!

 

[docv]

ok more developments. i have moved on and am dating another young hottie.

in the meantime, my buddy's girlfriend told him - and he told me - that my ex has now received over 30 over draft fees in her bank and that she is flat broke and cannot even pay rent. she has already borrowed 6k from her parents and 1500 from her boss last month right after she walked out on me.

unbelievable. i know she wouldnt come back just for the money (i make 3 times what she does), and i know there are residual feelings she has for me.. she is prolly really pissed off and in her own little mind prolly blames me. go figure!

has anyone seen this type of situation before when the ex leaves and it is NOT for another guy and then they fall flat on their face financially?

i found out she and her friend have checked up on me a few times over the past couple weeks, and they see i am doing just great and even heard about the new hottie.

my ex broke up with me and started ignoring me so i stopped trying to contact her.

what are some common possibilities that may happen here now that $hit is really hitting the fan for the ex?

 

[Docs]

Hmmm, our usernames are alike

She ignored you to give herself validation that it's your fault. Slowly, she's going to find out that it's not your fault, that she walked out and discovered that she's in a world of hurt. Namely..she's going to try to get ahold of you somehow...

 

[insomniac]

Women are notorious for being predictable in being unpredictable in their actions; however their underlying reason for doing so remains predictable. You've been through this song and dance before so you shouldn't be surprised at why she'll do whatever she does next. Don't waste energy worrying about exactly what she will do, just be ready to understand why.

Like Samuel Jackson's character in Jackie Brown said:

"You can't trust Melanie, but you can trust Melanie to be Melanie."

 

[woods]

Quote:
Originally Posted by woods
Anybody else here heard this one???
(chick broke my heart, for another guy, we were still living together, I was going INSANE)

Her: "can I borrow 50 bucks so I can get my birth control this month?"
I can laugh about it now, but I dont even remeber how I responded, but it wasnt pretty.

JESUS!

You like that one? I dont think I've ever been kicked in the balls as hard as that!!!!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Like Samuel Jackson's character in Jackie Brown said:

"You can't trust Melanie, but you can trust Melanie to be Melanie."

Good one!

 

[docv]

Hmmm, our usernames are alike

She ignored you to give herself validation that it's your fault. Slowly, she's going to find out that it's not your fault, that she walked out and discovered that she's in a world of hurt. Namely..she's going to try to get ahold of you somehow...

interesting forecast doc. she is definitely in a world of hurt and seeking help and advice from her friends. she got an eviction letter at her new place cuz her rent check bounced. she only has 2 options:

1) borrow 2500 from someone immediately (seeing as she has another months rent due on the 1st amongst all her other bills)
2) attempt to fall back on me

i'm sure the topic has come up about her crawling back to me for help and consoling (not only because we were together for 5 years, but also because I am LOADED). however, i am certain she is being advised to NOT get a hold of me as the fall back. :nono:

i wonder if that advice will hold water. tic toc tic toc......

 

[DJDamage]

Thank your blessing that you were able to get out of this mess. This situation could have been much worse, some women like this one are just like blood sucking leeches, she could have hung on to you and cleaned your bank account underneath your nose and walked out of your life.

I don't even understand why you were financing her car, if she can't do it on her own then she doesn't deserve to own a car. By giving her money you end up teaching the woman that she can use you like her personal ATM machine. Lucky you didn't get married and have kids because I could see a vampire like her getting pregnant just so you will pay her child support for 20 years.

I wouldn't be surprise if this woman comes crawling back to you since it was a bad investment on her part to dump you and now she is paying for it through the nose. You got rid of a bad apple, now go and find good one's.

 

[speed dawg]

Better be ready to roll if she does come calling.

If you do financial things together before marriage, better use a good business sense. Take me for example.

My gf needed a new car. She has no credit. So, my mom sells us her car for a good 4 grand under bluebook value. I put the loan in my name, and my gf pays for it. Sound risky? Of course, but.....

If we break up, I could sell the car to her and her loan co-signer (whoever that may be) for what she owes. If she's an *******.....

I sell the car and make a cool 4 grand. Gotta be smart, my man. Never pigeon hole yourself with a woman, esp. with money.

 

[Docs]

^ Nice.

 

[docv]

Thank your blessing that you were able to get out of this mess. This situation could have been much worse, some women like this one are just like blood sucking leeches, she could have hung on to you and cleaned your bank account underneath your nose and walked out of your life.

I don't even understand why you were financing her car, if she can't do it on her own then she doesn't deserve to own a car. By giving her money you end up teaching the woman that she can use you like her personal ATM machine. Lucky you didn't get married and have kids because I could see a vampire like her getting pregnant just so you will pay her child support for 20 years.

I wouldn't be surprise if this woman comes crawling back to you since it was a bad investment on her part to dump you and now she is paying for it through the nose. You got rid of a bad apple, now go and find good one's.

i dont think she's that caniving as it may have sounded from my original description because she was paying ALL of the rent and utilities at our old place and i was paying for all entertainment, vacations, food, wining and dining, her car and my car.

we did get into an argument about a month before we broke up about money. she complained about how i was not paying rent but when i tried to explain to her that i pay more than twice as much per month towards bills she just didnt get it. i should have just paid rent and had her pay for the other $hit. now shes realizing how much it costs to live that lifestyle.

i wouldnt be surprised if she blames me for her current problems and doesnt come crawling back; BUT her options are limited at this point.

 

[Docs]

You know what. Stop worrying about her. It's clearly a focus point of your daily life. She walked out, she now has to deal with it all, and you aren't going to take her back, so there's no point in wondering anymore. You know she's headed downhill, and that should be the last thing you need or want to hear.

Move on buddy. It is time.

 

[docv]

to be perfectly honest with you i would take her back if she came crawling but it would be on my terms and she would have to kiss some serious ass and eat from the palm of my hand. also i wouldnt bail her out of her problems either, instead i would help her to 'figure it out'.

after 5 years its tough to just forget about a person. and some of you guys are right in saying that what i might subconsciously be looking for is someone to tell me she might try to come crawling back.

i'm not worried about her, i realize she brough this on herself. i am more curious with what may or may not happen next, if anything.