Ex in new relationship

[wonderer]

I dumped her 4 months ago. We were together for two years and now I've found out shes with someone else in a relationship. I wasn't expecting it at all, I thought it would take her longer to move on? She was still very much in love with me. I'm happy being single and have been laying but I have mixed feelings. We've been NC for the whole time, she had removed me from social media but now recently she has blocked me too.

Thoughts?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Things to take in to account:

-You dumped her. There was a reason / were reasons for that.
-Your concern is and can only be yourself and your situation, not her and hers.
-She can remove you from her life to whatever extent she sees fit. There's nothing you're going to do or change about that. Again, it was your decision. You deal with the consequences of your actions.
-She has a new guy. Again, that's her prerogative. That's what people do. And there's nothing you'll do about it.

If you remove someone from your life, as you did, why do you have any 'expectations' one way or the other about what they do next. For me, when I dump someone, it's usually because I don't really want them in my life anymore. Sounds like you didn't really think it through; or you think actually she wasn't actually that bad....

 

[GoodOne123]

I have been there before, I know, it's an almost inexplicable feeling. It's like a mix of confusion, jealousy, regret, among other things.

What you did was right if you felt it was right at the time. You were not happy with her, and saw no point in being together anymore. That's reason enough to trust in what you did.

It can sting when an ex moves on quicker than expected, but you need to understand that she actually did the right thing too. She probably processed the loss in those 4 months, then began dating again. It was in her best interests to move on ASAP, and it would have been in your best interests too to move on ASAP if YOU were dumped instead of her!

There is this notion with guys, that as soon as they dump or put a girl on the side they prefer the girl to forever wallow in sorrow and never get over the breakup, and never date another guy again. They want this because to feeds their ego and makes them feel good. It is in your best interests to never expect or hope for this, and understand that as soon as you let a girl go she may go with someone else as early as the next day, and has the right to.

And as far as getting over breakups, everyone is different. Dont expect a girl to get over a breakup within an abstract time period you have made up in your head. She gets over it when she does. Just because you, for example, take 6 months to get over a 2 year relationship doesn't mean she can't take 4 months to get over it instead.

I understand that it hurts a bit, especially while you stay single, but it's one of those things you learn to deal with. Dont social media stalk her or find out about her any more. Recognise it's over, and be grateful for the moments while they lasted. Take as long as you want to process everything, then go out and find yourself a new girl. But don't stay single too long, the loneliness will make you think of your ex again, which is not good.

 

[SDDJ]

I dumped her 4 months ago. We were together for two years and now I've found out shes with someone else in a relationship. I wasn't expecting it at all, I thought it would take her longer to move on? She was still very much in love with me. I'm happy being single and have been laying but I have mixed feelings. We've been NC for the whole time, she had removed me from social media but now recently she has blocked me too.

Thoughts?

Umm, good for her?

You dumped her, why would you want her to be miserable?

 

[BeTheChange]

Mate 4 months is a long time. Saw my ex with another dude 4 days after she got the boot. Mine also "loved me more than life itself".They all have an emergency d!ck in the box. Count yourself lucky.

Doesn't mean as much as you think it does. Don't take it personally.

 

[RangerMIke]

The disadvantages of being emotional is that you have a hard time making rational logic based decisions.

The advantages of being emotional is that it is REALLY to move onto another lover.

Never be surprised at how fast a women finds another dude.... they are not wired for loyalty.

 

[Trump]

I dumped her 4 months ago. We were together for two years and now I've found out shes with someone else in a relationship. I wasn't expecting it at all, I thought it would take her longer to move on? She was still very much in love with me. I'm happy being single and have been laying but I have mixed feelings.

LOL. You told her to go to hell because you are too rock and roll to be tied down. Then you find out she is having sex with a 6'1 basketball player and now want to tell her "No no, don't go to hell. Come back to heaven with me. Don't you know who I am?"

We've been NC for the whole time, she had removed me from social media but now recently she has blocked me too.

Thoughts?

You tell her to go to hell. You want her to still be in love with you? Come on bro, how do you have sex with girls thinking like this?

 

[CuddleJunkie]

First things first. What you are experiencing , these emotions, they are completely logical, even if society teaches us that it is not. Now, we, as human beings, have the ability to get detached from our own emotions, that's why we have civilization, and why it teaches you that you should feel bad over being jealous about your ex. In order to function well in it (not being called a retrograde bossy guy), you have to accept that she is free to have another sexual partner once you dumped her. In order to be a DonJuan you have to accept that girls come and go, and you don't really have ownership over any of them in our society (oh, how different it was back then); you'll be freer and they will lose value in your eyes, becoming of more value in the SM!

Now, let me explain what you are feeling so you can detach yourself from it. These girls you had an emotional connection with, they are part of your harem. You feel like they are your property, they belong to you. It's ok to feel this way, it is the way you work, as a man. You are designed by Nature to have a small number of females you copulate with, the way of Men is the way of Polygamy. The way of Women is the way of Hypergamy (I have to make a thread about this ****). So yes, your emotional reaction is completely ok. The sooner you come to terms with the inevitability of such a feeling, and about its natural nature (heh), the sooner you will be able to detach from it. To experience it as something happening in your body, in your mind, in your experience of the world, but as something you can decide to act based upon it. This is the power we have as human beings, use it well, it will make you as free as you can be.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Say what? Dude you dumped her, move on already. Smh?

She actually took her time, those are my only thoughts.

 

[WhiskeyTango]

After a year of seperation I divorced my wife in April. Damn man, I wish her a$$ would move on! Seriously, once you let go you will be happy for her. Learn to let go of sh!t you can't control and you will have a much more fullfilling life!

 

[marmel75]

I dumped her 4 months ago. We were together for two years and now I've found out shes with someone else in a relationship. I wasn't expecting it at all, I thought it would take her longer to move on? She was still very much in love with me. I'm happy being single and have been laying but I have mixed feelings. We've been NC for the whole time, she had removed me from social media but now recently she has blocked me too.

Thoughts?

Trust me, women move on pretty quick most times...once they start getting some new d!ck they tend to forget about you pretty quickly...

 

[The Duke]

I dumped her 4 months ago. We were together for two years and now I've found out shes with someone else in a relationship. I wasn't expecting it at all, I thought it would take her longer to move on? She was still very much in love with me. I'm happy being single and have been laying but I have mixed feelings. We've been NC for the whole time, she had removed me from social media but now recently she has blocked me too.

Thoughts?

You are acting like a chic......it doesn't matter what she is up to.....thats my thoughts.

 

[Desdinova]

I've found out shes with someone else in a relationship

Good! Now she won't be bugging you to come back. Time for you to forget about her and move on.

 

[ZTIME]

We've been NC for the whole time, she had removed me from social media but now recently she has blocked me too.

Thoughts?

Yes, I have some thoughts:

Thought 1: If felt good about the break up you wouldn't have been stalking her social media during your 4 month NC. If you're going to say you weren't stalking......how would you know you were blocked?

Thought 2: you were secretly hoping she was stalking you too, and that you would be in a serious relationship before her. Now that didn't happen so your ego is bruised.

Thought 3: If you don't end this pattern of needing social validity from others, your ego will be bruised many more times.

Thought 4: 4 months is a long time. I'm surprised she wasn't dating earlier. I'm surprised you're still worried.

 

[grayclif]

I dumped her 4 months ago. We were together for two years and now I've found out shes with someone else in a relationship. I wasn't expecting it at all, I thought it would take her longer to move on? She was still very much in love with me. I'm happy being single and have been laying but I have mixed feelings. We've been NC for the whole time, she had removed me from social media but now recently she has blocked me too.

Thoughts?

Curious as to how you found out she has a new guy and how did you find out she dropped you from social media?

 

[nismo-4]

Why the f**k do you care?! Move on to a new woman! When A woman drops, I remove her from all platforms and go find more interested ones. You can always do better.

 

[wonderer]

For those asking how I found out about her - we were following each other on one social media platform. Big mistake, we don't follow each other anymore.

I was absolutely fine with the breakup until I found out she had someone new.

She text me breaking NC whilst on holiday last week, away from her bf, somewhere we had been before, she brought up old memories. She then removed me from the social media platform we were talking on as she said she wouldn't want to see me with other women on there, we starting using text instead, she said it was so nice to talk to me, I mentioned to her I was dating, after she did the same thing, we spoke the day after too.

We haven't spoke since and I wont be initiating contact.

 

[marmel75]

For those asking how I found out about her - we were following each other on one social media platform. Big mistake, we don't follow each other anymore.

I was absolutely fine with the breakup until I found out she had someone new.

She text me breaking NC whilst on holiday last week, away from her bf, somewhere we had been before, she brought up old memories. She then removed me from the social media platform we were talking on as she said she wouldn't want to see me with other women on there, we starting using text instead, she said it was so nice to talk to me, I mentioned to her I was dating, after she did the same thing, we spoke the day after too.

We haven't spoke since and I wont be initiating contact.

Good she isn't a part of your life anymore, no need to remain in contact with her