"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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ex-girlfriend wants to come back

sodbuster

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An ex decided she want to get back together.BUT she's gained 40 lbs since. So, when she asked what it would take; told her she needed to get back to her "fighting weight". I told her she needed to be hot enough that I wouldn't be tempted by the strays running around the Dental Conventions. When she replied"thats why I'd come WITH", I told her theirs a difference between not being tempted and not having the opportunity.

Since SHE broke up with ME, I figure she's going to really have to work for it to get another chance at anything.....

Like your thoughts/ideas on this. I know how I WANT to play it,but there may be a better idea out there
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

tryst type

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So she's gained weight and wants you back... Hmm sounds like she's not getting a lot of options and needs to feel good about herself and figured an ex that she dumped would be the easiest way to regain some self-esteem.
 

disgustipated

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Think you're playing it right asuuming you still want her. A complete frame flip is in order if she's wanting to.get back with you. Go overboard with what you want and.expect, you have leverage now....not the other way around. Enjoy your frequent bjs.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Sodbuster,
I am really surprised at this revelation....You know what you would tell me or any of your mates....Even if desperate,you NEVER go back,maybe a quick leg over for old times sake?...but in general No...In my experience,these Birds have been hurt,they are always 105% right,as we all know,No Woman is ever even partially to blame for any differences of opinion,Right?......They may appear to forgive,but they never forget......And so when they think they have you by the short and curlies,they come out first with some sarcastic remark,then if you still hang around with them they pile the agony on harder and harder....
Typical example:I moved into a new house,after we moved in my German Neighbors,who became good friends came over to welcome us with a bottle of lovely German Wine......We had not even finished the first glass and she was ridiculing her husband,for his having run away for a week,with a young Chicky babe....The punchline of her story being,his bringing back his dirty washing....Tres Drole....Sometime after,I asked Alois how long ago since he had done a runner on his Brunhilde...It had been,21 Years!....says it all!
And so these days,I always try desperately to slide out of relationships,minimising bitterness,acrimony....That way when things unexpectedly become quiet,you have a bolt hole...In short I have my own Friends Zone where I keep the little darlings on ice....sadly there are those,who I have to go no contact with,Then I mean it....They have excluded themselves on Health,(psychological or physical)or perhaps their ability in the sack....another can be their potential contact with family members or more valued Plates!
 
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Jitterbug

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If I were you, I'd just amuse myself baiting her to lose weight, see how far she'd go, then do a switch. :D Make the biatch jump through hoops. In fact she could do well with literally jumping through hoops, 40lbs needs a lot of workout.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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In2theGame

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Jitterbug said:
If I were you, I'd just amuse myself baiting her to lose weight, see how far she'd go, then do a switch. :D Make the biatch jump through hoops. In fact she could do well with literally jumping through hoops, 40lbs needs a lot of workout.
Or it could backfire. She loses 40 pounds then all of a sudden shes getting a little more attention and pulls the rug on him by saying "she needs space"
 

Jitterbug

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Do you know what a bait & switch means?

Besides, I have no doubt that she will never lose that 40lbs.
 

Warrior74

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sodbuster said:
An ex decided she want to get back together.BUT she's gained 40 lbs since. So, when she asked what it would take; told her she needed to get back to her "fighting weight". I told her she needed to be hot enough that I wouldn't be tempted by the strays running around the Dental Conventions. When she replied"thats why I'd come WITH", I told her theirs a difference between not being tempted and not having the opportunity.

Since SHE broke up with ME, I figure she's going to really have to work for it to get another chance at anything.....

Like your thoughts/ideas on this. I know how I WANT to play it,but there may be a better idea out there

Ah, see that's where we differ. I would have told her point blank, 'Sorry I've had moved on with my life and I wish you the best of luck in the future'.

I don't play games at all. What's the point? Revenge? Ego stroking? The fact that she left and came crawling back is victory enough isn't it? Be magnanimous in victory. Or at least pretend to be. ;)
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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sodbuster

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Probably right Scara

It was never much more than "friends with benefits"...she had worked for a competitor of mine at the time ,so it couldn't be out in the open. We were/are friends. SHE also wasn't willing to give up her cat.Since I'm allergic to the cat, I figure when it comes down to puzzy or death... I'll make the right choice

So far, the board is split on what I should do..which is where I am. To plate, or not to plate...ThAT is the question. she is no longer wife material
 
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