"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Ex girlfriend is trying to Rub it in. How do you think I handled it?

GoldenArrow

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2019
Messages
36
Reaction score
26
Age
40
Context:
It's been 2.5 months since we broke up in an amicable way. I wanted no contact, but she has been replying to my social media feeds and I have replied to her replies, as I didn't want to be an arsehole. I seldom initiate.

Incident:
- Yesterday, she posts a public story of a dude she's been flirting with (as seen on her social media posts, complimenting his looks etc and he'd flirt with her too), whereby she made a collage of him of all his topless pics and posts "what an amazing guy"
I've actually been dating other girls since we broke up. I felt that she was trying to make me jealous with her post, but I felt it was my opportunity to use her own post to distance her further. So I replied to her story:
Me: "Your new hunk?"
Her: "Well, I don't own anyone".
Me: "Your mancrush I should say ;)"
Her: "Thank you so much for giving me space! :)"
Me: "That's awesome, I'm glad the space is working for you. I'm really happy for you and I wish you the best of luck :):)"
She saw the message but didn't reply.

Sure I could have just ignored it, but there's no fun in that!
What are your thoughts on her, the intention of her public post, and my response?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

backseatjuan

Banned
Joined
Nov 2, 2011
Messages
4,441
Reaction score
1,651
Age
45
Location
Россия
She thinks like a woman, the more men she dates or sleeps with the more successful she thinks she is. You're there just for attention, no matter the intentions you had. Why not unfollow her and stop replying to her comments? Her ego is her man, she don't give a fck. She's one fcked up girl to post everything online. Maybe go back and double post under that thank you, 'Sht, I'm glad you didn't post what we did in bed for all to see.:oops:"
 

Epic Days

Banned
Joined
May 7, 2019
Messages
1,869
Reaction score
1,643
Age
42
Why are you on social media? Do you have a business on there?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

GoldenArrow

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2019
Messages
36
Reaction score
26
Age
40
Why not unfollow her and stop replying to her comments? Her ego is her man, she don't give a fck. She's one fcked up girl to post everything online. "
I let others do the unfollowing when they can't take it :)
Generally speaking, I avoid displaying any negative reaction.
 

oldmanofthesea

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2018
Messages
1,573
Reaction score
3,272
Age
50
Why spend time and energy on an ex you are not interested in? Sending her messages like that shows her you're still thinking about her and her jealousy games are working on you. The opposite of love is indifference. Just ignore her. Don't respond to social media, including liking her posts.
 

GoldenArrow

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2019
Messages
36
Reaction score
26
Age
40
Why spend time and energy on an ex you are not interested in? Sending her messages like that shows her you're still thinking about her and her jealousy games are working on you. The opposite of love is indifference. Just ignore her. Don't respond to social media, including liking her posts.
Some good points there. I've replied to her replies just as a friend. I replied to the last story, just so I have something down in black and white in case she tries to flirt with me down the track (as she's done in the past). That's pretty much my last bit of entertainment and she'll be on ignore from here on.
 

lamath

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
2,714
Reaction score
2,659
Age
45
Location
Canada
Indiference is the best anwser.

Any kind of attention you give her,
Its what she wants for you
 

GoldenArrow

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2019
Messages
36
Reaction score
26
Age
40
Indiference is the best anwser.

Any kind of attention you give her,
Its what she wants for you
You're right. I should stick to not initiating any conversation with her, and just ignore her attempts to get attention from me.
In the future, if she flirts with me or tries to get back with me, I should just ignore her. If she questions me further, my response should just be "I've moved on" or "i'm not interested". If she asks me about my dating life I should say "Meh, don't worry about my dating life - I'm pretty happy where I am".
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,637
Reaction score
6,557
Age
69
Location
The 7th Dimension
Me: "Your new hunk?"
"I am jealous and bothered about this guy."

Her: "Well, I don't own anyone".
Typical meaningless womanspeak

Me: "Your mancrush I should say ;)"
"I am jealous and bothered about this guy."

Her: "Thank you so much for giving me space! :)
"I thought you said you were going to give me space, but you're not."

Me: "That's awesome, I'm glad the space is working for you. I'm really happy for you and I wish you the best of luck :):)"
"I can't give you space. I'm obsessed and haven't moved on yet. I'm miserable to know that you're having a good time and posting this to make me jealous."
 

SoSuave666

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
1,123
Reaction score
874
Quit the ****ing smileys for crying out loud. Also, stop talking to your ex.
 

Hal9000

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2019
Messages
876
Reaction score
1,275
Probably shouldn't have said anything. The opposite of love isn't hate, its indifference. Giving her any unsolicited attention only validates that she's the center of the universe.
 

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
4,735
Reaction score
1,223
Location
The Dirty South
You made yourself look really weak.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,337
Reaction score
6,878
She's enjoying every moment of it, reaffirming her opinion that u r a loser and now she's showing all her friends what a loser u really are.

You have inadvertently upped her value while lowering yours.

Take this as a learning curve, ur 1st priority is to remove her at once from all ur social media apps and also her contact details in ur handset.

This signifies that you hv moved on to her and more importantly to yourself.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

oldmanofthesea

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2018
Messages
1,573
Reaction score
3,272
Age
50
I've replied to her replies just as a friend.
I don't suggest being friends with women you have had a romantic history with unless YOU have ZERO feelings for her at all. And you must be honest with yourself about that. I've only encountered this dynamic very rarely in my life. Either I still wanted her, or she still wanted me.

When I break up with someone, as long as it's amicable, I stay friends on social media but I unfollow them so I'm not seeing their stuff, am not tempted to reply, and if I have any lingering emotions, they aren't constantly poked by seeing her updates. It isn't rude not to like their posts.... I am not in the business of offering free validation to girls. Ask yourself: What positive things do you receive by staying friends with her, on social media or otherwise?
 

stovepipe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2017
Messages
965
Reaction score
1,084
Sure I could have just ignored it, but there's no fun in that!

So it's more fun to make yourself look like the weak beta b1tch you are, that in turn led you to post this thread to waste our time and yours? Some of you are flat out retarded!
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,027
Reaction score
5,356
Me: "Your new hunk?"
"I am jealous and bothered about this guy."

Her: "Well, I don't own anyone".
Typical meaningless womanspeak

Me: "Your mancrush I should say ;)"
"I am jealous and bothered about this guy."

Her: "Thank you so much for giving me space! :)
"I thought you said you were going to give me space, but you're not."

Me: "That's awesome, I'm glad the space is working for you. I'm really happy for you and I wish you the best of luck :):)"
"I can't give you space. I'm obsessed and haven't moved on yet. I'm miserable to know that you're having a good time and posting this to make me jealous."
The “thanks for giving me space” comment isn’t accurate. All she means is “thank you so much for being cool with me slutting it up, it’s nice to hop back on the **** carousel with a free and clear mind and no judgement from you!”
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,637
Reaction score
6,557
Age
69
Location
The 7th Dimension
The “thanks for giving me space” comment isn’t accurate. All she means is “thank you so much for being cool with me slutting it up, it’s nice to hop back on the **** carousel with a free and clear mind and no judgement from you!”
Could be.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Top