@Ryan Adams
The only way a therapist can even get BPDs to cooperate and open up is to validate them and constantly give them the benefit of the doubt. And even then the progress is slow and arduous. The therapist has to be extremely skilled and experienced with the patience of a saint.
Lucky for us we're not their therapists.
With any woman you're treating well there may come a point where you notice her appreciating you less and beginning to take your attention for granted. This is a barometer for your self love.
If you choose to give her more attention then you are confirming the idea that your attention is worth less than before. You NEED her to act better so you are willing to do anything for it. This is the definition of codependency. You are dependent on her validation.
If you choose to focus on yourself and disengage or dismiss from her you are maintaining that your attention is worth exactly what it's always been worth. This means continuing to disengage or dismiss even if she walks. If it seems hard in the moment that should be a signal to you that you're becoming codependent. It should remain effortless, a no-brainer.
Being hostile or hating these women is petty. Even trying to explain things is useless unless they genuinely want to change for you and explicitly ask. They're simply confused in their own turmoil. Have pity and move on.