Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Ex dropped me over a text 7 months out of absolutly nowhere.

dude99

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She wa supposed to come over that night then changed her mind and texting me saying she needs basically saying I don't love you goodbye then blocked my number. I got 0 word in and to this day I havent seen her. She would yell at me and cuss as me for little to nothing everything i did annoyed her. I gave this ***** everything I had just to make her happy. Her dad abandoned the family at a young age and now is back in her life. Her mom is a super immature manipulative person who talks bad about her even though she is the one paying for the moms place to live car everything. Her emotions were extremely unstable. She would get drunk and out of ****in nowhere would randomly hate me. The next morning she loved me.... I looked it up and I even had to talk to a psychiatrist about it. It really ****ed me up but I'm 99% sure she had borderline personality disorder. Even the psychiatrist confirmed. After she left me over text she got on social media posting memes as if I left her constantly. Making me look bad then told me later on she didnt love me and I was boring. Now if my friends see her she avoids everyone I know. Moral of the story if it seems to good to be true it is. In the beginning she said she loved me 3 weeks in would stare at me was weird in bed no emotion etc etc. Bizarre. Im.doing good now I have a few plates. I dont really miss her as I miss the companionship and the way she made me feel when she was loving. Anyone have similar stories with a bpd woman?
Sounds like the trash took itself out. Appreciate the small favours life gives you sometimes and go on and meet new women.
 

Ryan Adams

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As usual, there's a share of postings here that contain more swagger about how they would have handled this and what you did wrong... than actually offering tips. If there's one positive, you can be thankful you're life hasn't sunken to internet posturing.

As Atom Smasher suggested, her decision wasn't impulsive. In fact, I'd bank on it. Either consciously or unconsciously we men will usually ignore the signs - which lead up to a breakup.

When getting invested on a "roller-coaster" girl, it usually becomes a full-time investment and when it's over, it can feel depleting and defeating. There are a lot of postings about this particular type of gal and that's for a reason.

From my own experience and retrospection, I've concluded that we can't change them, but we *can* change ourselves. Ask yourself why you chose to hang in when you'd probably advise your pal (in the same situation) to bail? Ask yourself.. what did you do to 'enable' her bad behavior. Ask yourself why you took a bind-eye to her offenses.

This above questions might sound highly criticizing, but it really isn't. If we do not dig deep and understand our participation in a bad relationship, we are prone to repeat the same bad mistakes. If we change our behavior, practice high standards and expect the same, life becomes a little less complicated.
I should of left her ass the second she started going insane. Even if I did act more accordingly eventually the relationship would of ended. She is a miserable person through and through she couldn't hide it anymore after the 3rd month
 

Hal9000

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Sounds like she was a nightmare from day one. Consider yourself lucky since you apparently had no idea you were with an insane piece of trash til she dumped you. Try not to be so clueless going forward and the fact you even started a thread about this screams you haven't moved on yet. Get over her.
 

Ryan Adams

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Sounds like she was a nightmare from day one. Consider yourself lucky since you apparently had no idea you were with an insane piece of trash til she dumped you. Try not to be so clueless going forward and the fact you even started a thread about this screams you haven't moved on yet. Get over her.
I agree I should of even started a thread. Thing is she is a good person to her family and in the grand scheme of things isnt evil or anything. I mean she takes care of her mom and uses no money on herself. BUT to me she was absolute trash. Her true colors started coming out and I'm glad I dont have to deal with her. Yes I'm still a bit messed up from the fact with the snap of fingers she left and that was the end of that couldnt even do it in person. I need to 100% get over it
 

Georgepithyou

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You live and learn man, most of us have been therw with a BPD woman.

Messed me up for a good few weeks, but life goes on. Plenty of good women out there so don't lose hope because of one ****ty messed up girl.
 

Ryan Adams

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You live and learn man, most of us have been therw with a BPD woman.

Messed me up for a good few weeks, but life goes on. Plenty of good women out there so don't lose hope because of one ****ty messed up girl.
Thanks man. Feels good to vent on here about crazy bvtches. She almost tried to make me look like a bad person after she left me and dipped. I did nothing wrong. I'm spinning plates though doing pretty good got in the gym lost a bunch of weight and am feeling positive and healthy
 

logicallefty

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I agree I should of even started a thread.
Ryan, There is no problem with a guy starting a thread like yours. Sometimes we just need to vent. Times are more stressful than ever for us men. If you want to start a thread to get stuff off your chest, do it. Those who don't want to read it don't have to. And those who are jerks to you for writing it, put them on ignore. I get kind of sick of people on here mocking other people's threads when yeah maybe the thread serves no purpose than for the OP to vent a little. Maybe there is no question to be answered, or message to be shared. So what?
 

EyeOnThePrize

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@Ryan Adams
The only way a therapist can even get BPDs to cooperate and open up is to validate them and constantly give them the benefit of the doubt. And even then the progress is slow and arduous. The therapist has to be extremely skilled and experienced with the patience of a saint.

Lucky for us we're not their therapists.

With any woman you're treating well there may come a point where you notice her appreciating you less and beginning to take your attention for granted. This is a barometer for your self love.

If you choose to give her more attention then you are confirming the idea that your attention is worth less than before. You NEED her to act better so you are willing to do anything for it. This is the definition of codependency. You are dependent on her validation.

If you choose to focus on yourself and disengage or dismiss from her you are maintaining that your attention is worth exactly what it's always been worth. This means continuing to disengage or dismiss even if she walks. If it seems hard in the moment that should be a signal to you that you're becoming codependent. It should remain effortless, a no-brainer.

Being hostile or hating these women is petty. Even trying to explain things is useless unless they genuinely want to change for you and explicitly ask. They're simply confused in their own turmoil. Have pity and move on.
 

Ryan Adams

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@Ryan Adams
The only way a therapist can even get BPDs to cooperate and open up is to validate them and constantly give them the benefit of the doubt. And even then the progress is slow and arduous. The therapist has to be extremely skilled and experienced with the patience of a saint.

Lucky for us we're not their therapists.

With any woman you're treating well there may come a point where you notice her appreciating you less and beginning to take your attention for granted. This is a barometer for your self love.

If you choose to give her more attention then you are confirming the idea that your attention is worth less than before. You NEED her to act better so you are willing to do anything for it. This is the definition of codependency. You are dependent on her validation.

If you choose to focus on yourself and disengage or dismiss from her you are maintaining that your attention is worth exactly what it's always been worth. This means continuing to disengage or dismiss even if she walks. If it seems hard in the moment that should be a signal to you that you're becoming codependent. It should remain effortless, a no-brainer.

Being hostile or hating these women is petty. Even trying to explain things is useless unless they genuinely want to change for you and explicitly ask. They're simply confused in their own turmoil. Have pity and move on.
Wow very well put. I'm hating her because she left me and tossed me away like garbage but to truly be the fcvk over it I gotta just like you said have pity and move on... after all shes probably going to be struggling her entire life. And she will never change for me she left me 7 months ago have not heard or sen from her since.
 
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