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Ex dropped me over a text 7 months out of absolutly nowhere.

stormrider

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She wa supposed to come over that night then changed her mind and texting me saying she needs basically saying I don't love you goodbye then blocked my number. I got 0 word in and to this day I havent seen her. She would yell at me and cuss as me for little to nothing everything i did annoyed her. I gave this ***** everything I had just to make her happy. Her dad abandoned the family at a young age and now is back in her life. Her mom is a super immature manipulative person who talks bad about her even though she is the one paying for the moms place to live car everything. Her emotions were extremely unstable. She would get drunk and out of ****in nowhere would randomly hate me. The next morning she loved me.... I looked it up and I even had to talk to a psychiatrist about it. It really ****ed me up but I'm 99% sure she had borderline personality disorder. Even the psychiatrist confirmed. After she left me over text she got on social media posting memes as if I left her constantly. Making me look bad then told me later on she didnt love me and I was boring. Now if my friends see her she avoids everyone I know. Moral of the story if it seems to good to be true it is. In the beginning she said she loved me 3 weeks in would stare at me was weird in bed no emotion etc etc. Bizarre. Im.doing good now I have a few plates. I dont really miss her as I miss the companionship and the way she made me feel when she was loving. Anyone have similar stories with a bpd woman?
It’s already been said a million times but if you truly loved yourself, you wouldn’t have allowed her behavior.

The fact that you don’t love yourself manifested in someone like her reflecting back to you your own lack of self love.

She reflected back to you how you truly felt about yourself.

It’s 150% your fault and responsibility. The only way to change your future is to become a better man.

The woman that you attract will always see you the way YOU see you.

No exceptions.

The BPD’s and the self loathing pushovers always find each other. They are a perfect match made in hell.

Coming here to complain about how you allowed someone to treat you like sh1t for two years is not going to earn you any sympathy points.

It will just make you look pathetic.

There is nothing out there that someone can give you that you can’t give yourself. Until you realize this, you will never find a good woman.

There is no such thing in this universe as a self loving guy being in a relationship with a BPD woman spanning years.

Leave the sympathy card at home gentlemen. We are not your mothers.

We can only point you to the right direction. And it’s always the same direction. Towards self love.
 

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Black Widow Void

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As usual, there's a share of postings here that contain more swagger about how they would have handled this and what you did wrong... than actually offering tips. If there's one positive, you can be thankful you're life hasn't sunken to internet posturing.

As Atom Smasher suggested, her decision wasn't impulsive. In fact, I'd bank on it. Either consciously or unconsciously we men will usually ignore the signs - which lead up to a breakup.

When getting invested on a "roller-coaster" girl, it usually becomes a full-time investment and when it's over, it can feel depleting and defeating. There are a lot of postings about this particular type of gal and that's for a reason.

From my own experience and retrospection, I've concluded that we can't change them, but we *can* change ourselves. Ask yourself why you chose to hang in when you'd probably advise your pal (in the same situation) to bail? Ask yourself.. what did you do to 'enable' her bad behavior. Ask yourself why you took a bind-eye to her offenses.

This above questions might sound highly criticizing, but it really isn't. If we do not dig deep and understand our participation in a bad relationship, we are prone to repeat the same bad mistakes. If we change our behavior, practice high standards and expect the same, life becomes a little less complicated.
 

Glassguy

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This is what happens when you don’t know how to squash poor behavior and show you’re willing to walk away over it right from day 1.

Whether she is bpd or not is irrelevant.
Totally agree.

Ryan- you have a consistent track record of being needy, desperate, etc with women. I am not making fun of you, but understand that these traits lead to what you are dealing with now- which is a woman dumping you "out of nowhere".

You must first understand that no matter what you think, this didnt happen overnight.

The common denominator here is you. Until you understand how to reframe yourself, your emotions and most importantly your actions, you will continue dealing with this.

And FYI- crazy women dont do this to a guy with the right frame and frame of mind. Instead they go crazy to KEEP him, not dump him.
 

Glassguy

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She would yell at me and cuss as me for little to nothing everything i did annoyed her.
Yet you stayed with her. You taught her that it was ok to treat you this way. Yet you are surprised that she is acting like she is now?

I gave this ***** everything I had just to make her happy
Of course you did. Just like the last one. And the one before that. Because you are a BETA. You will even give up your own self worth and self esteem to keep a woman around. Shame on you. You actually deserve this because you REFUSE to learn how to deal with women in general and more specifically a woman's BS.

Even the psychiatrist confirmed.
Bullshyte. They cannot "confirm" anything without diagnosing someone directly. Its your way of making yourself feel better by AGAIN putting yourself in an awful situation with a woman because you just dont get how to deal with a woman where the control is always in your favor.

But if it makes you feel better, knock yourself out.

Moral of the story if it seems to good to be true it is
What was too good to be true? Her telling you that you were weird? Her being lousy in bed? Or her cussing you and being totally disrespectful?

Dude you need to wake TF up.
 

dude99

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She wa supposed to come over that night then changed her mind and texting me saying she needs basically saying I don't love you goodbye then blocked my number. I got 0 word in and to this day I havent seen her. She would yell at me and cuss as me for little to nothing everything i did annoyed her. I gave this ***** everything I had just to make her happy. Her dad abandoned the family at a young age and now is back in her life. Her mom is a super immature manipulative person who talks bad about her even though she is the one paying for the moms place to live car everything. Her emotions were extremely unstable. She would get drunk and out of ****in nowhere would randomly hate me. The next morning she loved me.... I looked it up and I even had to talk to a psychiatrist about it. It really ****ed me up but I'm 99% sure she had borderline personality disorder. Even the psychiatrist confirmed. After she left me over text she got on social media posting memes as if I left her constantly. Making me look bad then told me later on she didnt love me and I was boring. Now if my friends see her she avoids everyone I know. Moral of the story if it seems to good to be true it is. In the beginning she said she loved me 3 weeks in would stare at me was weird in bed no emotion etc etc. Bizarre. Im.doing good now I have a few plates. I dont really miss her as I miss the companionship and the way she made me feel when she was loving. Anyone have similar stories with a bpd woman?
Sounds like the trash took itself out. Appreciate the small favours life gives you sometimes and go on and meet new women.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

Ryan Adams

Master Don Juan
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As usual, there's a share of postings here that contain more swagger about how they would have handled this and what you did wrong... than actually offering tips. If there's one positive, you can be thankful you're life hasn't sunken to internet posturing.

As Atom Smasher suggested, her decision wasn't impulsive. In fact, I'd bank on it. Either consciously or unconsciously we men will usually ignore the signs - which lead up to a breakup.

When getting invested on a "roller-coaster" girl, it usually becomes a full-time investment and when it's over, it can feel depleting and defeating. There are a lot of postings about this particular type of gal and that's for a reason.

From my own experience and retrospection, I've concluded that we can't change them, but we *can* change ourselves. Ask yourself why you chose to hang in when you'd probably advise your pal (in the same situation) to bail? Ask yourself.. what did you do to 'enable' her bad behavior. Ask yourself why you took a bind-eye to her offenses.

This above questions might sound highly criticizing, but it really isn't. If we do not dig deep and understand our participation in a bad relationship, we are prone to repeat the same bad mistakes. If we change our behavior, practice high standards and expect the same, life becomes a little less complicated.
I should of left her ass the second she started going insane. Even if I did act more accordingly eventually the relationship would of ended. She is a miserable person through and through she couldn't hide it anymore after the 3rd month
 

Hal9000

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Sounds like she was a nightmare from day one. Consider yourself lucky since you apparently had no idea you were with an insane piece of trash til she dumped you. Try not to be so clueless going forward and the fact you even started a thread about this screams you haven't moved on yet. Get over her.
 

Ryan Adams

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Sounds like she was a nightmare from day one. Consider yourself lucky since you apparently had no idea you were with an insane piece of trash til she dumped you. Try not to be so clueless going forward and the fact you even started a thread about this screams you haven't moved on yet. Get over her.
I agree I should of even started a thread. Thing is she is a good person to her family and in the grand scheme of things isnt evil or anything. I mean she takes care of her mom and uses no money on herself. BUT to me she was absolute trash. Her true colors started coming out and I'm glad I dont have to deal with her. Yes I'm still a bit messed up from the fact with the snap of fingers she left and that was the end of that couldnt even do it in person. I need to 100% get over it
 

Georgepithyou

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You live and learn man, most of us have been therw with a BPD woman.

Messed me up for a good few weeks, but life goes on. Plenty of good women out there so don't lose hope because of one ****ty messed up girl.
 

Ryan Adams

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You live and learn man, most of us have been therw with a BPD woman.

Messed me up for a good few weeks, but life goes on. Plenty of good women out there so don't lose hope because of one ****ty messed up girl.
Thanks man. Feels good to vent on here about crazy bvtches. She almost tried to make me look like a bad person after she left me and dipped. I did nothing wrong. I'm spinning plates though doing pretty good got in the gym lost a bunch of weight and am feeling positive and healthy
 
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logicallefty

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I agree I should of even started a thread.
Ryan, There is no problem with a guy starting a thread like yours. Sometimes we just need to vent. Times are more stressful than ever for us men. If you want to start a thread to get stuff off your chest, do it. Those who don't want to read it don't have to. And those who are jerks to you for writing it, put them on ignore. I get kind of sick of people on here mocking other people's threads when yeah maybe the thread serves no purpose than for the OP to vent a little. Maybe there is no question to be answered, or message to be shared. So what?
 

EyeOnThePrize

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@Ryan Adams
The only way a therapist can even get BPDs to cooperate and open up is to validate them and constantly give them the benefit of the doubt. And even then the progress is slow and arduous. The therapist has to be extremely skilled and experienced with the patience of a saint.

Lucky for us we're not their therapists.

With any woman you're treating well there may come a point where you notice her appreciating you less and beginning to take your attention for granted. This is a barometer for your self love.

If you choose to give her more attention then you are confirming the idea that your attention is worth less than before. You NEED her to act better so you are willing to do anything for it. This is the definition of codependency. You are dependent on her validation.

If you choose to focus on yourself and disengage or dismiss from her you are maintaining that your attention is worth exactly what it's always been worth. This means continuing to disengage or dismiss even if she walks. If it seems hard in the moment that should be a signal to you that you're becoming codependent. It should remain effortless, a no-brainer.

Being hostile or hating these women is petty. Even trying to explain things is useless unless they genuinely want to change for you and explicitly ask. They're simply confused in their own turmoil. Have pity and move on.
 

Ryan Adams

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@Ryan Adams
The only way a therapist can even get BPDs to cooperate and open up is to validate them and constantly give them the benefit of the doubt. And even then the progress is slow and arduous. The therapist has to be extremely skilled and experienced with the patience of a saint.

Lucky for us we're not their therapists.

With any woman you're treating well there may come a point where you notice her appreciating you less and beginning to take your attention for granted. This is a barometer for your self love.

If you choose to give her more attention then you are confirming the idea that your attention is worth less than before. You NEED her to act better so you are willing to do anything for it. This is the definition of codependency. You are dependent on her validation.

If you choose to focus on yourself and disengage or dismiss from her you are maintaining that your attention is worth exactly what it's always been worth. This means continuing to disengage or dismiss even if she walks. If it seems hard in the moment that should be a signal to you that you're becoming codependent. It should remain effortless, a no-brainer.

Being hostile or hating these women is petty. Even trying to explain things is useless unless they genuinely want to change for you and explicitly ask. They're simply confused in their own turmoil. Have pity and move on.
Wow very well put. I'm hating her because she left me and tossed me away like garbage but to truly be the fcvk over it I gotta just like you said have pity and move on... after all shes probably going to be struggling her entire life. And she will never change for me she left me 7 months ago have not heard or sen from her since.
 
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