Ex Acting Weird - Long Story

[sterlingarcher]

Sorry ahead of time for the long post. Thanks in advance for those that read the whole thing.

Dated this girl for 7 years off and on. One of those things where no matter how many times we've broken up and seen other people we always end up talking again.

Anyway earlier in the year we were talking (not "officially together") and sleeping together, but she got weird and ended up wanting to spend time with this other guy she just met. I wasn't about to chase her so I just detached from the situation. She gave me the whole "I love you and I don't know what our future holds, but for right now we just need time apart" and I offered absolutely no resistance.

Fast forward to two months ago. She contacts me and wants to go get drinks to catch up. I say sure. We go out for drinks, end up going to a late movie as well, then end up back at my place and spend the majority of the night having sex numerous times. She explains that she's "officially" with the previously mentioned guy she stopped talking to me for, but she's bored to death with him. Says she's not that attracted to him (he's pretty bland in the looks department), is getting sick of him, and they have terrible sex on the rare occasion they do. During the course of the past few months they've been together they for some stupid reason bought a dog, and now she feels like she's stuck in this relationship with him, she says. I of course take all this with a grain of salt. I have no idea what she's exaggerating, making up, etc. Anyway she says she's going to end up breaking up with this guy eventually, and we agree to keep hanging out and sleeping with each other.

Fast forward to now. We've hung out numerous times since we started two months ago, been having amazing sex, and just having a lot of fun. All I've been hearing from her is how great I am, how much amazing history we have together, how when she imagines her future I'm the only guy she can picture, how much more attractive I am than anyone else she's ever met (I'm a model and do my best to take very good care of how I look, so I blow this other guy she's talking to out of the water in physical attractiveness), etc. All good things basically. Well last week she had finals for college, so she was pretty busy with studying/school work and had to cancel plans we had. She offered a reschedule for today. This morning I text her:

Me: What time you getting here later?
Her: I'm not sure yet, I kinda want to see how the evening plays out here.
Me: What does that mean
Her: Like see what everyone is doing. I also honestly just don't know if I feel like going out
Me: Up to you just let me know
Her: Ok I will

Now the circumstances at her house are hectic. She lives with family. Her dad, stepmom, two brothers, cousin and his wife, grandmother, and I assume her "boyfriend" is over semi-frequently. The house is enormous and basically there's always **** going on. It's just one of those busy households. None of them know she's talking to me again. So when she says "see what everyone is doing" I'm 95% sure she means see what's going on around the house, as she usually has to come up with an excuse to get out of the house so she can see me.

Anyway overall she's just seemed a little off the past week - week and a half. Just distant. Hard to pin down for plans. I did however receive a big text two nights ago about how amazing I am again, and how much better I am compared to every other guy she's talked to. But those are all just words. And now she seems to be flaking out again on plans for tonight.

I'd like to get back together with this girl because she's really the only person I've felt a connection with worth getting serious about. I'm not sure if she's just in a weird funk lately or what, but I don't want to blow the whole thing by handling this the wrong way. How would you guys suggest I proceed here?

PS. Before anyone says it; I am and have been spinning plenty of plates. I haven't been solely focused on this situation, but it's the only one I actually care about.

 

[TitanSS]

The only thing I will touch on is to not react in anyway to her seeming "off".

If she starts texting you less.... just do the same and act as if you do not care. Made this mistake too many times before coming here.

Do not in any way become more emotionally invested in her than she is in you. Keep options open.

 

[El Suave]

What kind of a man are you taking left overs from other men? She has zero respect for you because you take her back every time. If she were a f*ck buddy, no problem, but to say you actually care about her....She jumps from one guy to another and then comes back to you every time. Don't be flattered, she just hasn't found the right alpha. The day will come when she will, and you will never see her again.
Don't make the mistake of putting any value on this chick. She has none.

 

[sterlingarcher]

What kind of a man are you taking left overs from other men? She has zero respect for you because you take her back every time. If she were a f*ck buddy, no problem, but to say you actually care about her....She jumps from one guy to another and then comes back to you every time. Don't be flattered, she just hasn't found the right alpha. The day will come when she will, and you will never see her again.
Don't make the mistake of putting any value on this chick. She has none.

I've pretty much been treating her like just a f*ck buddy and it's been working out quite well. Even if only for the good sex, I'm gonna keep her around.


I just got the cancellation text from her.

Her: So I don't think I wanna hang out tonight, I'm not really feeling up to it /: I'm sorry

Not sure how to respond, if even at all, as I've read on here that a lot of times no response is the best response.

Should I just not answer and wait for her to contact me from now on? Or send her something like "its cool maybe some other time"?

 

[user name]

I've pretty much been treating her like just a f*ck buddy and it's been working out quite well. Even if only for the good sex, I'm gonna keep her around.


I just got the cancellation text from her.

Her: So I don't think I wanna hang out tonight, I'm not really feeling up to it /: I'm sorry

Not sure how to respond, if even at all, as I've read on here that a lot of times no response is the best response.

Should I just not answer and wait for her to contact me from now on? Or send her something like "its cool maybe some other time"?

How would you respond if it was someone you didn't care about? Like me for instance.

 

[VladPatton]

Don't treat her like anything more than a FB, that's all she is and WILL go ghost on you when a new relationship happens in her life. If you were all that awesome, great, and wonderful like her texts and emails say, she would of hit the nuke button on that chump she's with and said to you that she's through with fücking around and that YOU are the one she wants, hands down, no doubt. But she didn't. Think about it.

Bang her when she's available and be ready to have her instantly gone from your life at any time. Sucks, yeah, but that's how these situations are. Love triangles are fuel injected by high octane drama.

 

[El Suave]

This is how I would reply to a f*ckbuddy

Her: So I don't think I wanna hang out tonight, I'm not really feeling up to it /: I'm sorry
Me: No problem. You owe me an extra BJ next time

 

[TheGambino]

This is how I would reply to a f*ckbuddy

Her: So I don't think I wanna hang out tonight, I'm not really feeling up to it /: I'm sorry
Me: No problem. You owe me an extra BJ next time

Ye that's absolutley stupid in your situation OP.

Just answer with: Ok goodnight or Oke or no problem

 

[sterlingarcher]

How would you respond if it was someone you didn't care about? Like me for instance.

I would either not answer you or just give you an "ok". lol so I see your point here.

Don't treat her like anything more than a FB, that's all she is and WILL go ghost on you when a new relationship happens in her life. If you were all that awesome, great, and wonderful like her texts and emails say, she would of hit the nuke button on that chump she's with and said to you that she's through with fücking around and that YOU are the one she wants, hands down, no doubt. But she didn't. Think about it.

Bang her when she's available and be ready to have her instantly gone from your life at any time. Sucks, yeah, but that's how these situations are. Love triangles are fuel injected by high octane drama.

Appreciate the input and you're probably completely right man, unfortunately.

Ye that's absolutley stupid in your situation OP.

Just answer with: Ok goodnight or Oke or no problem

I've read on here that no response in a situation like this increases interest/value in her mind. Like leaves her wondering about why you didn't answer. Is that applicable here or is it definitely better to at least give her a "no problem" because she's not some chick that barely knows me that I just met?


Sorry for all the questions guys. My "game" so to speak is probably considered 'not that great' if I'm being honest. I've never really had to rely on the "game" aspect of picking up girls. I'm not trying to sound like a **** or toot my own horn here, but my looks usually get me where I need to be. So I've never developed a good game. Hence why I joined this site. And I appreciate all the responses so far.

 

[TitanSS]

Go with no response.

And as others said be ready to have your foot out the door.

It does suck, but it's just the way women are. They are always in search of the highest value alpha. Do your best to emotionally detach any feelings from her and just worry about you.

My biggest help in these situations is to do something that you believe is improving yourself. The better you feel about yourself the less likely you are to give a **** about her.

 

[VikingKing]

who cares how shes acting. Ignore her and find other women.

 

[sterlingarcher]

Go with no response.

And as others said be ready to have your foot out the door.

It does suck, but it's just the way women are. They are always in search of the highest value alpha. Do your best to emotionally detach any feelings from her and just worry about you.

My biggest help in these situations is to do something that you believe is improving yourself. The better you feel about yourself the less likely you are to give a **** about her.

I just went a did an extra long workout. I feel better already lol.

 

[El Suave]

Sorry for all the questions guys. My "game" so to speak is probably considered 'not that great' if I'm being honest. I've never really had to rely on the "game" aspect of picking up girls. I'm not trying to sound like a **** or toot my own horn here, but my looks usually get me where I need to be. So I've never developed a good game. Hence why I joined this site. And I appreciate all the responses so far.

You had game before, you just didn't know it. The "game" is confidence! That's what you had, and sticking around this chick makes you doubt yourself. That is why people call some chicks "toxic". A good woman will build you up and support you, not make you doubt yourself and join websites and ask for help. Sadly, we all came here for the same reason.
After you are done with this BS relationship and cut this woman out, hope you stick around and help others.