Donsing said:
Understand, appreaciate everything about yourself and your life, but I know it requires baby steps, for instance, finding 3 different things each do you appreaciates about yourself or your life for 2 weeks, and it could be the smallest thing such as your shoe to something big such as your humor. This will have a cascading effect, and eventually you will realiaze that people are starting to appreaciate you because the world is magnificent and complex mirror. First, you have to smile to see the smiling image in the mirror.
Whoa I didn't understand all of that. S'all good man, that's some deep sh!t I can tell
Sounds like a good exercise. Here's one I tried... I try to make an interesting story out of my ordinary day, by making it about me. This is really, really hard, but the mark of a great storyteller.
Without making any claim to being a great storyteller:
Today, my friend gave me a call. I only met this guy four months ago, yet I feel like he's my brother. I hadn't talked to him in two weeks because of drama with his girlfriend, and I was astonished at how much I missed him already. It's crazy how that guy already means more to me than so many of my older friends. It amazes me how sometimes I just connect with people, and after a short time, I can't imagine life without them.
Today I had a scary epiphany. I had met a bridesmaid at a wedding a month ago. Turned out she lived in Chicago like me, but in a far west suburb. This girl is cool, man. She loves to laugh, she works in something strangely medical like manufacturing urinal bags, but we had a crazy conversation about how we both love medieval romances and Greek mythology. Yes, we're nerds, I love it. I think this girl is really cool. Today, I wanted to call her, and although I don't remember which suburb she lives in, I do know that by some miracle I can take a train out to that general area. So as I was getting ready to call her, I realized that this is a really fun girl, and I just knew that if I called her, we would have a great time. We would laugh, we would get together, we would romp. In fact, it felt like we couldn't fail to have an epic time. This would mean that either she has a boyfriend or eventually the point would come where it would be right to kiss her, and who knows where it would go from there.
You'd expect this to be a wonderful feeling, of peace, or excitement, or joy. But instead I felt more anxious than ever. This may be something that you are used to, or have encountered before. For me, it was confusing. I just can't believe that I could
want to fail with a great girl like her. What I've concluded from this is that a big part of me is terrified of looking like a fool, and of failing once again with women.
Thanks for reading ha ha, I tried.
Izza