Every man I know who's gotten married has a sh**ty life

[Bigpapa]

Given this, how did you distinguish between avoidant and anxious woman?

Also, that secure attachment, is something a nice guy without backbone have?

What will happen with a avoidant (man) and anxious (woman) ltr?

anxious means that you are clingy, while avoidant means that you are afraid of getting hurt so you keep people at a distance

secure attachment, basically being somewhere in the middle of the anxious :/ avoidant spectrum , is the only way to have a functional relationship

Anxious + anxious = can work long term, but full of drama
Secure + anxious = can work
Secure + secure = can work
Avoidant + anxious = rarely works long term, because the anxious will stop chasing ( unless is a masochists
Avoidant + avoidant = does not work
Secure + avoidant = can work short term, but the secure will cut the loss quite soon

long term, avoidantas have to move towards secure, otherwise they will end up alone

 

[Bigpapa]

There is alot too this. My wife is an avoidant attachment and i liked the freedom and relatively drama free nature of it until 2020 when it went bad

The problem with avoidants is that you can never really feel safe and you will always have your guard up

and after a while you will start getting frustrated little by little and you end up a walking ticking bomb

because they will also poke you to see if you are attached or not

 

[remarkable]

@plumber @remarkable If you have a daughter, you can hope well for her that she gets a man like you described, the problem though, is that in reality she will choose either a man who behaves like you, her father, and how your wife interacted with you, or she will end up with a criminal who will capture her emotions. No other ways

I agree with the first part of your statement, daughters often gravitate towards how their mothers acted and treated other men. So, as much as I talk about how you father a little girl is important, the entire home and the marriage between parents are key in the outcomes of children.

 

[jhonny9546]

Marriage can only be successful in a few combinations 1) Secure with an Anxious OR 2) Secure with secure. I suspect the 2nd option is a bit boring though. My preference is option 1. The man must always be Secure attachment for the marriage to work.

Interesting.

So if you have a fearful/anxious-avoidant attachment in a woman, that means she would be fine with a secure attachment man.. but dude.. how the hell that relationship will look like?
It seems to me that this man will have to eat tons of sh1t from her.. that's a hassle.

Given this, what if a man is on the fearful/anxious-avoidant attachment spectrum?
How his relationship and romatic life will look like?

@bmp2cpm You're the magician on this theme

 

[BaronOfHair]

Most PEOPLE have sh-t-y lives, married or otherwise, even when they APPEAR to be doing well. Ex. Brad Pitt's apparently off the wagon again, and spent an entire article in Esquire rationalizing his decision. Rather than telling the truth, in a relatively concise statement:

"-I've lost my kids

-The ol' hairline's finally giving out

-I now regret leaving Anniston for Jolie... Several hundred times per day, I fantasize about the life the former and I could've built together, had I not allowed myself to be led around by my d-ck, back in '05

-I'm embroiled in a lawsuit that may drag out for another decade/will likely cost me millions even if I "win"

-I'm brooding over whether or not I can stretch my star power much further, at this point in my life

-Chances that I'll die broke are much stronger than the general public realizes... I've blown off more fortunes than can be counted on frivolous crap that brought zero benefit to my existence

So, I'm now trying to commit suicide in the most passive aggressive fashion imaginable, by trashing my liver and internal organs with booze. My own ego(I can't bear the the thought of TMZ declaring: "Unlike all those macho characters he played onscreen, the real Pitt was too much of a p-ssy to muster through")and cowardice are preventing me from deep throating a 12 gauge, pulling the trigger, and wrapping this up in less than 5 minutes"

 

[Sega Genesis]

@ Baron this is news!

That Esquire article was published recently in 2026, that's what I've read. Haven't read the article though.

I wonder how his live-in gf, Ines de Ramon feels about it?

From HELLO Newsletter:

"Brad Pitt's girlfriend Ines de Ramon gave fans a rare glimpse into her famously private life as she shared a series of sun-soaked photographs on Instagram.

The 33-year-old jewelry executive, who has been dating the 62-year-old Hollywood actor since 2022, looked incredible as she relaxed beside a swimming pool wearing a tiny black string bikini."

 

[BaronOfHair]

I wonder how his live-in gf, Ines de Ramon feels about it?

Likely enjoying the ride with a zeal rivaled only by the ecstasy which enveloped Harris&Klebold on that fateful day in '99, for however long BP can satisfy her, in the boudoir and elsewhere. Back to the point OP raises:

These marriages @Flexpert has opined on are ones he himself wouldn't find agreeable, were he in them, great... He ain't though, ergo spending more than 3 minutes per week ruminating on this particular topic is less beneficial to any of us than Britney Spears continuously wondering out loud: "Would wearing panties while out on the town have saved my career?" is to HER, at this stage in the game

 

[Slowhandluke]

Brad seems to be doing ok... I dont feel sorry for him at all....

 

[BaronOfHair]

Brad seems to be doing ok... I dont feel sorry for him at all....

Point stands:

Surface level apperances are frequently less than 1/8th of the truth... We're all in emotional pain of some kind, no matter how divine our lives may seem to outside observers

 

[Slowhandluke]

Point stands:

Surface level apperances are frequently less than 1/8th of the truth... We're all in emotional pain of some kind, no matter how divine our lives may seem to outside observers

Maybe... I don't know Brad personally...