"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Every guy has a BC and an AD

ApocalypseCow2

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It occurred to me yesterday that every man, in his relationships with women, has a BC period and an AD period.

During BC, you want every hot chick. Attractiveness is the only thing that matters.

Than you run into that one chick that just blows you away. And you get into a long term relationship. Soon, your girlfriend turns into a different person. Or maybe you already knew she had problems, but figured "They'll go away once we're in a secure relationship." Before long, this woman causes you to lose the will to live. It ends.

This is when the mature man enters into his AD phase. No longer is "being hot" enough. Now the guy has RULES: the girl has to be sane, must have a good relationship with her father, be financially secure, live less than 45 minutes away but more than 15 minutes, etc... A guy like this sees a chick and says to himself, "Well, she's cute. That's 1 down, 19 to go." When ladies want to reel in one of these guys (heh heh) , they aren't competing with each other. They're competing with the LIST.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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penguin

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I'm surprised at how accurately this describes where i'm at at the moment.

I've gone through the "one that blows me away, changes etc. and then ends" stage...

And yes, it's true, looks are just one criterea to me these days. One of many. And yes, it is about 'the list'.

Haha I just can't believe how accurately that thing describes where i'm at, and what i've been through. Right down to her causing me to lose the will to live :p

Whether this has any credible background or not, I must give you credit for being so accurate to me it's scary
 

whistler

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Originally posted by ApocalypseCow2
It occurred to me yesterday that every man, in his relationships with women, has a BC period and an AD period.

During BC, you want every hot chick. Attractiveness is the only thing that matters.

Than you run into that one chick that just blows you away. And you get into a long term relationship. Soon, your girlfriend turns into a different person. Or maybe you already knew she had problems, but figured "They'll go away once we're in a secure relationship." Before long, this woman causes you to lose the will to live. It ends.

This is when the mature man enters into his AD phase. No longer is "being hot" enough. Now the guy has RULES: the girl has to be sane, must have a good relationship with her father, be financially secure, live less than 45 minutes away but more than 15 minutes, etc... A guy like this sees a chick and says to himself, "Well, she's cute. That's 1 down, 19 to go." When ladies want to reel in one of these guys (heh heh) , they aren't competing with each other. They're competing with the LIST.
I like it!

There might even be a law that a guy can't enter the AD stage until he does get to date that super hot chick.
 

Spartan

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Good question
Blimey, you hit the nail on the head and described me to a T. I understand exactly what you are saying.

Situation I got now. Got nice attractive girls interested in me, but I can't be bothered with them, there has to be something more than JUST looks alone.

Ironically, it is this not caring about them or the infrequent attention I pay them that drives them to want to get together more than ever before (it is almost annoying and I still think they ****block the few women that do interest me!). You do the flirty bit, have a laugh with them and play around but I don't know, I just don't give a crap if it doesn't go any further. I got things to do, learning a new language, dancing - jive and salsa (great for seducing women), studies for a new career and martial arts.

Thing is. I been through enough emotional turmoil coming out my ten year relationship (two years married) and if the girls don't play by my rules they remain in my friendzone no matter how damn hot they are. That's it. End of story for them. I been like this for two and half years. Just cannot be bothered with hot girls that know they are gorgeous and expect you to fall at their knees, not all hot women are like this obviously but a number are.

Saying that, I have kinda fallen for one woman who is a no go area, hasn't dated for six years, got a young son, been very badly abused by men, super defensive with guys to the point of unbelievability, never been married, never been in love, stops herself falling for guys and she is the only one that has flauted my rules and it bugs the hell out of me! Somehow she makes me care about her, and it was because I was the first guy she has dated and I had a good time, grrrr......(headbutts the keyboard several times).

Apart from that one chink in my armour I can relate to everything you are saying mate.

Life is about having fun and spending time with people who want to be with you and you with them. Same goes for women.

Hold on a sec. Just thought of another chink in my armour, blonde lass, somehow bounces my rules a bit as well. Maybe I am not so rule driven as I first thought?!?! ok, two chinks in my armour...mmm...maybe I am not so mentally and emotionally tough as I thought. Bugger!

Tell me something though. And it would be nice to have answers from others as well.

I have found myself competing against women's list as well. So many of them have a frighteningly detailed list of their own. With my list it is a short basic list as you describe - sane woman, sexy, chatty, exciting to be with, has a caring side, etc and I do try and be open minded. However, the list these women have seem to be absolutely massive. At the top it always seems to be "trust" because every woman I have met has been betrayed in a serious relationship or is it just me who encounters this EVERY time?
 
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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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PVSSY-EATER

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hey buddy....excellent post....I am so excited that you are gettin such a great understanding...
 
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