"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Ever Seen This Before?

DaneB

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There is this 19 year old girl (I'm 23) that I had been dating for like four months. She was interested in me and had actually broke up with her boyfriend because she was starting to become attracted to me long before I ever felt anything for her.

As time went by I became very busy with school. I started to like the feeling of having her around, but I was never really sure about how I felt about her. Sometimes I would like her a lot, other times it was easy to just study for days at a time alone. She also kept changing her mind about me. She was unsure if she wanted a relationship with me because she was still going through some mental things with her ex. She had really strong feelings for him and it was her first relationship.

After awhile, all I would talk about with her was our relationship and nothing else. I was so busy with school and needed some certainty because I was starting to get a strong feeling that I was going to fail a class.

For this reason I was starting to get stressed out all the time and was probably less fun to be around. It seemed to me that she was starting to lose interest because it was becoming easier for her to not drop by my room anymore. Despite telling me how wonderful I was, how I was such a great guy and how much she liked me.

And then dead week she didnt drop by at all. This was really worrying me because I knew that my vibes from her were coming true. I went to her room and talked to her about it. Completely broke off everything and told her it wasnt a good idea if it continued. We decided that we were going to just be friends.

Following this I didnt see her for about 2.5 weeks. Then we started hanging out a lot as friends. She called me like every day and always had me hang out with her and her friend. We still seem to be able to click very well. Just as well as before.

Now, no matter how much I try, no matter how much I lie to myself and to other people I like her still and have more fun with her now because school is out and there are no worries. I want to be her friend, but I feel that Im more certain that I want a relationship than I did before. I wasn't sure before if I wanted her, but now I know I do and I can't really imagine being attracted to anybody else more than her.

Im thinking that if I still think about her in a month that I do now, I will read her the poetry that she has inspired me to write. Because I feel that if I still think about her that way than I will never change and that I would rather have nothing than to not have her as a girlfriend.

Do you guys have any advice on what I should do? Is there anyway that she could still have feelings for me, but just needed some space from a relationship? She dated her ex for like 6 months and then she had a rebound with this guy for a couple weeks. I waited like two weeks and she has told me on multiple occasions that she truely did like me. Or do you guys know how I could increase her interest level again?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Funkopotamus

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Welcome to the *Friends List* brutha!


What is even worse is the fact that you went through the door to the *Friends* closet without her ever having to shove you into there..


You might try to just date someone else and see what she does, but in all honesty after what I read on your post you might be fuxed!
 

DaneB

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Since I haven't really been there before, what is the reason that a chick would change her mind like this? I mean, if at one time, she likes you a lot, why would she change her mind?
 

backbreaker

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Originally posted by DaneB
There is this 19 year old girl (I'm 23) that I had been dating for like four months. She was interested in me and had actually broke up with her boyfriend because she was starting to become attracted to me long before I ever felt anything for her.

As time went by I became very busy with school. I started to like the feeling of having her around, but I was never really sure about how I felt about her. Sometimes I would like her a lot, other times it was easy to just study for days at a time alone. She also kept changing her mind about me. She was unsure if she wanted a relationship with me because she was still going through some mental things with her ex. She had really strong feelings for him and it was her first relationship.

After awhile, all I would talk about with her was our relationship and nothing else. I was so busy with school and needed some certainty because I was starting to get a strong feeling that I was going to fail a class.

For this reason I was starting to get stressed out all the time and was probably less fun to be around. It seemed to me that she was starting to lose interest because it was becoming easier for her to not drop by my room anymore. Despite telling me how wonderful I was, how I was such a great guy and how much she liked me.

And then dead week she didnt drop by at all. This was really worrying me because I knew that my vibes from her were coming true. I went to her room and talked to her about it. Completely broke off everything and told her it wasnt a good idea if it continued. We decided that we were going to just be friends.

Following this I didnt see her for about 2.5 weeks. Then we started hanging out a lot as friends. She called me like every day and always had me hang out with her and her friend. We still seem to be able to click very well. Just as well as before.

Now, no matter how much I try, no matter how much I lie to myself and to other people I like her still and have more fun with her now because school is out and there are no worries. I want to be her friend, but I feel that Im more certain that I want a relationship than I did before. I wasn't sure before if I wanted her, but now I know I do and I can't really imagine being attracted to anybody else more than her.

Im thinking that if I still think about her in a month that I do now, I will read her the poetry that she has inspired me to write. Because I feel that if I still think about her that way than I will never change and that I would rather have nothing than to not have her as a girlfriend.

Do you guys have any advice on what I should do? Is there anyway that she could still have feelings for me, but just needed some space from a relationship? She dated her ex for like 6 months and then she had a rebound with this guy for a couple weeks. I waited like two weeks and she has told me on multiple occasions that she truely did like me. Or do you guys know how I could increase her interest level again?


nothing you really did wrong (honestly), she is just a confused little girl. NO matter how nice her legs/ass/tit's are, everyone still has a brain, and hers isn't very mature.

For the life of me, i never did get the " i am going though some mental t hings with my ex so I can't date right now"

Okay... you went though thoose things, and that was the cause of you breaking up with him. Move on *****. Anytime I hear that, a girl wanting to take it slow with me and not even because of me, I bail out, or **** and duck.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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