Ever message your ex?

[LimeSlush]

Hey I've been wondering this for a couple years and wanted to see what people thought. I dated a girl a little under 10 years ago. First serious relationship, lost virginity etc. I really let this girl walk all over me and if I knew then what I know now it would of been over less than a week in. Anyway, I always suspected she cheated on me but I've never actually confronted her about it. I'm in a good relationship now, but I still have always wondered if she did. I've contemplated messaging her on fb to just see if she ever did so I can finally know one way or another and although I do think this is unnecessary and I should just forget it I'm curious what your guys' opinion is.

 

[fastlife]

Exes are for ego trips only--yours not hers. She won't come clean anyway, but she'll get the satisfaction that you're here thinking about her 10 years later. Seems like a lose-lose to me.

I'd let sleeping dogs lie. She's not the girl you loved 10 years ago. That girl only exists in your memory.

 

[Fireballs]

Nothing good will come from it. Just let it go man.....

 

[Tictac]

Let it go man. 10 years?

 

[BorisMoris]

Bad idea - she really won't tell you the truth. Maybe she won't even reply and then she's left with the impression that you still haven't got over her after 10 years?
Instead of spending a millisecond thinking about this ex, go book a shopping trip with you current partner and spend some time in your head with the present. Make the present a more fun place to be rather than the nostalgic memories of a time gone by.

 

[Desdinova]

Exes are for ego trips only--yours not hers. She won't come clean anyway, but she'll get the satisfaction that you're here thinking about her 10 years later. Seems like a lose-lose to me.

I'd let sleeping dogs lie. She's not the girl you loved 10 years ago. That girl only exists in your memory.

^^This

How many women have you known to come clean about cheating? My ex-wife had an affair with her best friend's husband, moved in with him, had a child with him, and the kid looks just like him. She swears up and down to this day that they've never done anything even though all the evidence is there. Women don't want to be viewed as wh0res, so they lie about it to soothe their own emotions even though everyone else knows otherwise.

 

[LimeSlush]

I appreciate all your advice thank you. To be honest I don't even know why I'm curious. I think it's just to confirm what I'm already 99% sure happened, and it took me awhile after we broke up to realize everything that I thought was wrong with me was actually her problems. I've run into her a few times over the years and it gives me satisfaction to see how much better I've become since I was with her. And it's true, any answer she gives me will be doubted if she was to even answer at all, and I don't want her to have any satisfaction that I still wonder if she cheated or not.

 

[Jetleg]

Some people here will think its stupid, but do what you want knowing nothing gonna come out of it. if the attraction is there just forget it.
I did message couple exes of mine couple of times, just to be friendly and because they were genuinely nice girls, i'm not shamed to admit - but i had no attraction anymore.