Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Ever message your ex?

LimeSlush

Don Juan
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Hey I've been wondering this for a couple years and wanted to see what people thought. I dated a girl a little under 10 years ago. First serious relationship, lost virginity etc. I really let this girl walk all over me and if I knew then what I know now it would of been over less than a week in. Anyway, I always suspected she cheated on me but I've never actually confronted her about it. I'm in a good relationship now, but I still have always wondered if she did. I've contemplated messaging her on fb to just see if she ever did so I can finally know one way or another and although I do think this is unnecessary and I should just forget it I'm curious what your guys' opinion is.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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fastlife

Master Don Juan
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Exes are for ego trips only--yours not hers. She won't come clean anyway, but she'll get the satisfaction that you're here thinking about her 10 years later. Seems like a lose-lose to me.

I'd let sleeping dogs lie. She's not the girl you loved 10 years ago. That girl only exists in your memory.
 

BorisMoris

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Bad idea - she really won't tell you the truth. Maybe she won't even reply and then she's left with the impression that you still haven't got over her after 10 years?
Instead of spending a millisecond thinking about this ex, go book a shopping trip with you current partner and spend some time in your head with the present. Make the present a more fun place to be rather than the nostalgic memories of a time gone by.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Desdinova

Master Don Juan
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Exes are for ego trips only--yours not hers. She won't come clean anyway, but she'll get the satisfaction that you're here thinking about her 10 years later. Seems like a lose-lose to me.

I'd let sleeping dogs lie. She's not the girl you loved 10 years ago. That girl only exists in your memory.
^^This

How many women have you known to come clean about cheating? My ex-wife had an affair with her best friend's husband, moved in with him, had a child with him, and the kid looks just like him. She swears up and down to this day that they've never done anything even though all the evidence is there. Women don't want to be viewed as wh0res, so they lie about it to soothe their own emotions even though everyone else knows otherwise.
 

LimeSlush

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I appreciate all your advice thank you. To be honest I don't even know why I'm curious. I think it's just to confirm what I'm already 99% sure happened, and it took me awhile after we broke up to realize everything that I thought was wrong with me was actually her problems. I've run into her a few times over the years and it gives me satisfaction to see how much better I've become since I was with her. And it's true, any answer she gives me will be doubted if she was to even answer at all, and I don't want her to have any satisfaction that I still wonder if she cheated or not.
 

Jetleg

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Some people here will think its stupid, but do what you want knowing nothing gonna come out of it. if the attraction is there just forget it.
I did message couple exes of mine couple of times, just to be friendly and because they were genuinely nice girls, i'm not shamed to admit - but i had no attraction anymore.
 
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