"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Ever intentionally friendzone yourself?

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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As in a girl will say/do something to test you, and you respond by friend zoning yourself on purpose? An example would be a girl a was talking to, I wasn't really crazy about her, she's like a 6, and we'll go talk about various things. One time she told me how her siblings were teasing her about how much she was texting me and she told them how she doesn't 'like me'. I say "awww, but I thought we were just friends" and her face gets all red and she starts stammering something lol. I guess it's more so me friendzoning her rather than me friendzoning myself I guess, but she seemed to almost have an increased interest in me after that. Like reversing the roles or something. You guys ever done the same thing or anything similar?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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bigneil

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With my last girlfriend, the moment I knew it was over in my gut, I said LJBF. Within a week she told me she was in love with someone else (who she met after I said LJBF). I have to wonder if she was returning the favor, or whether I accurately predicted things. In any event, I walked away. I was her lover only. Never her friend. 2199/2200th's of the time we were together (99.95%) was as lovers.
 

El Payaso

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As in a girl will say/do something to test you, and you respond by friend zoning yourself on purpose? An example would be a girl a was talking to, I wasn't really crazy about her, she's like a 6, and we'll go talk about various things. One time she told me how her siblings were teasing her about how much she was texting me and she told them how she doesn't 'like me'. I say "awww, but I thought we were just friends" and her face gets all red and she starts stammering something lol. I guess it's more so me friendzoning her rather than me friendzoning myself I guess, but she seemed to almost have an increased interest in me after that. Like reversing the roles or something. You guys ever done the same thing or anything similar?
She finds it a blow to her ego that you're not interested in her so her interest in you has piqued.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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With my last girlfriend, the moment I knew it was over in my gut, I said LJBF. Within a week she told me she was in love with someone else (who she met after I said LJBF). I have to wonder if she was returning the favor, or whether I accurately predicted things. In any event, I walked away. I was her lover only. Never her friend. 2199/2200th's of the time we were together (99.95%) was as lovers.
So in your case it almost seemed to have done the opposite, but simply because you two may have already been lovers before?
 

bigneil

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So in your case it almost seemed to have done the opposite, but simply because you two may have already been lovers before?
She was having an affair with me and had just initiated a divorce with her husband (who she lived with since age 14). At age 21, having just reconnected with her dad who booted her at 14 and her friends from high school (which booted her at 14), she couldn't tell everyone she had been dating a 46 year old man for nearly a year, so I had to let her go. I don't think it backfired as much as was spot-on. She later wrote "Thank you for being so understanding. I'm so happy you've been a part of my life and I want to make it up to you in any way I can". After what she had already done, that was quite an offer. I told her to call me in a year and tell me she misses me and she went back to gushing. I'll either A) Never see her again (I'm ok with that) or B) Have the best makeup sex ever with a more mature woman who knows I will give her total freedom, and who is no longer married.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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