Ever get No Response from a Breakup letter?

[PrettyBoyAJ]

She obviously wanted to break up with you too if she did not respond.

 

[Scorpio6913]

Dude. You sent the letter. Now you have to live with it. If you contact her now, she knows you were bluffing. She knows she owns you.

Moreover, if you contact her now, you are in essence, agreeing to her relationship terms. That is, she didn't change a thing, yet you came crawling back. Thus, you are now her beeatch.

Wait it out. If she doesn't contact you, you can be guaranteed she was never going to change.

We all do it, but it is arrogant and magical thinking to think we can change anyone anyway.

The only thing you can change, is to change chicks. Find one without the coo coo-ness.

Well, unfortunately I broke down & texted her : "I apologize for being harsh, would like to talk with you, would you?"

I felt like I had to take the chance to try and re-open some dialogue.

No Response... that was 13 hours ago & I'm saddened..

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Man up bro, You dumped her. Deal with it and move on. You think you would have been more prepared then her. Seems like she was well prepared.

 

[Scorpio6913]

Man up bro, You dumped her. Deal with it and move on. You think you would have been more prepared then her. Seems like she was well prepared.

You're right, but it's impossible to turn my emotions off.. I suppose I have no other recourse now?

 

[Iceberg]

You're right, but it's impossible to turn my emotions off.. I suppose I have no other recourse now?

You broke up with her. Then you apologized for breaking up with her. I mean, what other recourse could there be? It just sounds like she isn't interested in any of it.

Besides, it wasn't even a real break up. You were just trying to get her attention.

The whole thing is sad.

 

[Scorpio6913]

You broke up with her. Then you apologized for breaking up with her. I mean, what other recourse could there be? It just sounds like she isn't interested in any of it.

Besides, it wasn't even a real break up. You were just trying to get her attention.

The whole thing is sad.

It is sad & you are right, but when I sent the original email, I was drunk & pissed off at the time. I know that is no excuse. It's just the truth & I would like to find a way to at least re-establish contact & then try to establish better communication so I wouldn't act so immaturely again.

 

[Groovy]

Well, unfortunately I broke down & texted her : "I apologize for being harsh, would like to talk with you, would you?"

Wait, wait. Are you letting the girl lead? Never do that.

Did I understand correctly... Does this mean: "Hey, do you give me permission to talk to you?"

IMO cut the jibba-jabba... I have never been in such a situation before, but why don't you just call her? Have confidence, and take the lead dude. You are waiting for her to say "yes", and then you go talk to her... Skip that part. Talk to her. If she doesn't want to, she'll cut you out. I say, call her, texting is super lame, IMO, in this situation... Even the breakup should have been face-to-face brotha.

Options:
Call her
Meet her in person

If that fails, drop it.

Some guys even say, it's lost already, and forget about it this moment. But you are the dude who can judge this whole thing the best. Trying never hurt anyone, either. Rejection is better then regret. Although you messed up badly already, try anyways. Good luck.

Ps: Don't count the hours that she didn't respond to you.

The whole thing is sad.

Agreed...

 

[Iceberg]

It is sad & you are right, but when I sent the original email, I was drunk & pissed off at the time. I know that is no excuse. It's just the truth & I would like to find a way to at least re-establish contact & then try to establish better communication so I wouldn't act so immaturely again.

Why do you need to establish better communication?

In your other thread about her, you said that you've dated 5 month, she spends hours of free time playing video games, and that there hasn't been a lot of sex between you two.

Let's break this down in slow motion.

1. Dated for 5 months
-Who gives a crap? I've dated plenty of girls for 4 or 5 months. It's not that heartbreaking to lose some 5-month fling

2. Spends hours playing computer games
-Spending hours playing tennis, or guitar, or painting, or jogging...that'd be cool. F**kin computer games? You're worried about losing that?

3. Not a lot of sex happening
-I wouldn't tolerate that in month 1 let alone month 5.

Just using context clues about you and the woman you find yourself "dating", I'm going to make an assumption about your situation here:

You're lonely, you don't have a lot of potential women in your life, and you're hanging onto this pathetic woman as a security blanket. Because the occasional attention and sex that she gives you is better than the NOTHING you had before her.

I know I know....she's a nice girl, blah blah blah. Well I'm sure she'd be a great neighbor or even a nice friend. But she sounds like garbage as a girlfriend. So the only possible reasons for you wanting her back are the reasons I listed above.

 

[Scorpio6913]

Why do you need to establish better communication?

In your other thread about her, you said that you've dated 5 month, she spends hours of free time playing video games, and that there hasn't been a lot of sex between you two.

Let's break this down in slow motion.

1. Dated for 5 months
-Who gives a crap? I've dated plenty of girls for 4 or 5 months. It's not that heartbreaking to lose some 5-month fling

2. Spends hours playing computer games
-Spending hours playing tennis, or guitar, or painting, or jogging...that'd be cool. F**kin computer games? You're worried about losing that?

3. Not a lot of sex happening
-I wouldn't tolerate that in month 1 let alone month 5.

Just using context clues about you and the woman you find yourself "dating", I'm going to make an assumption about your situation here:

You're lonely, you don't have a lot of potential women in your life, and you're hanging onto this pathetic woman as a security blanket. Because the occasional attention and sex that she gives you is better than the NOTHING you had before her.

I know I know....she's a nice girl, blah blah blah. Well I'm sure she'd be a great neighbor or even a nice friend. But she sounds like garbage as a girlfriend. So the only possible reasons for you wanting her back are the reasons I listed above.

Thanks for that Ice, I agree, that is a fair assessment, I would just change your one sentence to "Nothing I've had in a long while", as I've had much better in my life past.

It's funny, the woman (and a man) I work with, suggest that I do call "Ex" because ex is pissed with how I did it & being told from friends ect. to ignore & remain no contact unless I call (Plead?). That makes sense & I nearly did call today & tonight. They say that I should do it for closure because of the pain I feel. I know how many here feel about closure being a woman's need only, but I really wonder about that..

 

[The_411]

Rule #1 Never break up over e-mail

Why? It screams attention seeking beahvior.

In the future either end it face to face or just stop communicating period.

Even though you did go the e-mail route you really DLV'd yourself by sending an apology text.

Rule #2 never apologize unless you really f'ed up. Even then you should only have 2 apologies to use in any relationship. Think of them like timeouts. You use more than two it's a technical foul and that technical foul is your manhood being snatched from you.

Why apologize she was acting like a *****. We're men and we get angry and we have a right to do so. By apologzing you basically said, "Hi I'm a lil ***** you can walk all over me. I'll get mad but I'm not really mad because I don't want you to me mad at me etc. :kick:

This is an important lession for your future relationships

Rule #3 Do not yield, be a rock, yielding indicates weakness. Don't get me wrong there are occasions where you need to play pacifier but you should manipulate those situations so that you are in control and making the decisions.

 

[Scorpio6913]

Rule #1 Never break up over e-mail

Why? It screams attention seeking beahvior.

In the future either end it face to face or just stop communicating period.

Even though you did go the e-mail route you really DLV'd yourself by sending an apology text.

Rule #2 never apologize unless you really f'ed up. Even then you should only have 2 apologies to use in any relationship. Think of them like timeouts. You use more than two it's a technical foul and that technical foul is your manhood being snatched from you.

Why apologize she was acting like a *****. We're men and we get angry and we have a right to do so. By apologzing you basically said, "Hi I'm a lil ***** you can walk all over me. I'll get mad but I'm not really mad because I don't want you to me mad at me etc. :kick:

This is an important lession for your future relationships

Rule #3 Do not yield, be a rock, yielding indicates weakness. Don't get me wrong there are occasions where you need to play pacifier but you should manipulate those situations so that you are in control and making the decisions.

Hey, I hear you man, thanks for the re-inforcement!
I did though think of it as a major f_up on my part and really only apologized for being harsh, not for breaking up. But I understand what you are saying, thank you.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Sh*t, It really doesn't matter thow you broke up with her. At least you did it. I don't care how you did it.

 

[Scorpio6913]

Sh*t, It really doesn't matter thow you broke up with her. At least you did it. I don't care how you did it.

You are absolutely right Brother & what you said in my thread so far has been very helpful. You are well beyond your years man, thanks!

 

[Scorpio6913]

Well, still feeling like sh_t! Can't change the past, can't change her, wtf, I just wish things hadn't led me down this road... Sorry for the rant...

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

It's been over a week, Get over this.

Its all fine that you made a mistake. But one key factor of being a man is that when we make a mistake we move on from it. We don't dwell on it.

 

[Scorpio6913]

It's been over a week, Get over this.

Its all fine that you made a mistake. But one key factor of being a man is that when we make a mistake we move on from it. We don't dwell on it.

I totally understand you. Just trying to reconcile this somehow, wish I could in reality, but there seems to be no way.

 

[sodbuster]

sh1t, I didn't have this much angst after 14 YEARS of marriage. Get control of yourself.... you are acting like a woman. Time to MAN up

 

[Veridin]

Well, in a private exchange of messages, the person who is the first to stop replying is kind of the winner. (Unless it is an aggressive exchange, in which the person who gets the last word wins.) If she would reply and beg to have you back, and you didn't reply, it would set her down a notch. If she replied with anger and sadness, and you didn't reply, it would set her down a notch. So she is quiet instead.

Quite wise also in case she would say something she would regret.

I was going to send you a email explaining what my concerns were about the relationship between you & I

A pet peeve of mine: I is the subject, me is the object. This is some kind of meme going on these days, that saying "I" as an object would be classier. Rampant behavior among women who sign up for The Bachelor. But it isn't classier.