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corrector

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Again, I do not see that at all. I feel that I was very fair when I was first asked, I stated that I'd never marry but open to family and children to whomever I choose. I also said I have no issues with a private marriage or religious marriage, just not a State license. I was firm on this since the beginning. So, I do not see how you feel I am being unfair to her. You know, one can have children and a family without a marriage license.
You can't have a religious marriage without a State license. As far as the law is concerned, the issue is more if you have children, if what you've earned collectively as a family that is greater in amount than what you had going into the marriage and it's supposed to work both ways, and if you have a common law marriage, or even a form of a marriage, then any laws that are binding on a marriage would still also be binding on you. I know here in Canada, if you live together with someone over 2 years, then that lady has the same legal rights as a proper wife.

If you are willing to have children, then you are still at the mercy of the law and courts concerning custody and child support. Unless you made more money and got rich after you got married, then I don't get division of new assets earned within the marriage, but maybe your laws are different than ours. To be comfortable about having children, but being uncomfortable about marriage sounds irrational because there is more legal liability to bringing a child into the world you can't support or are not willing to support then any issues with an ex-wife.

A child means you are legally liable until he is 18 years old. Spousal support doesn't have an 18 year minimum.
 

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Don Juan
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A child means you are legally liable until he is 18 years old. Spousal support doesn't have an 18 year minimum.
In the US in some states, this can go up to 26yo if the child ends up being a special needs child or even just diagnosed with any type of autism, for example. A woman really wanting to bend you over could probably get a doctor to diagnose the kid with autism. Just be careful guys...
 

RickTheToad

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You can't have a religious marriage without a State license. As far as the law is concerned, the issue is more if you have children, if what you've earned collectively as a family that is greater in amount than what you had going into the marriage and it's supposed to work both ways, and if you have a common law marriage, or even a form of a marriage, then any laws that are binding on a marriage would still also be binding on you. I know here in Canada, if you live together with someone over 2 years, then that lady has the same legal rights as a proper wife.

If you are willing to have children, then you are still at the mercy of the law and courts concerning custody and child support. Unless you made more money and got rich after you got married, then I don't get division of new assets earned within the marriage, but maybe your laws are different than ours. To be comfortable about having children, but being uncomfortable about marriage sounds irrational because there is more legal liability to bringing a child into the world you can't support or are not willing to support then any issues with an ex-wife.

A child means you are legally liable until he is 18 years old. Spousal support doesn't have an 18 year minimum.
Actually, you can have a religious marriage in CT w/o a State license. Yea, well Canada is more socialist than Connecticut right now. I am not looking or depending on her to increase my assets. I've been doing that quite well on my own on top of my regular career. I understand you are very religious, and that is fine. However, we have two completely different point of views. That is fine, but the law in Connecticut doesn't care and I will not give up 20+ years of digging myself out of poverty for a piece of paper. I took the plunge once and it was a huge mistake, and that was pre no-fault. I could only imagine how bad it is now.

Child support is a formula and custody is 50/50, however, I'd work to make sure all is fine between us; within reason. Regardless, there is no alimony or asset distribution on child support. It's a percentage of the combined gross salary. Again, I have no issues with having a family or children, so you are missing my points here.

You are legally liable until 18, but New York, for example can be extended until 26. I believe California is as well. Regardless, you are missing the point of my post.
 

RickTheToad

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In the US in some states, this can go up to 26yo if the child ends up being a special needs child or even just diagnosed with any type of autism, for example. A woman really wanting to bend you over could probably get a doctor to diagnose the kid with autism. Just be careful guys...
It can go up to 26 if the kid is just lazy in some states. Autism is diagnosed with various tests and screenings, but hopefully that wouldn't be an issue. In addition, I am PA in the medical field, so I doubt that would be an issue.
 

Medina

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Fatal mistake OP. The moment you tell a woman she can't have something, she'll spend the rest of her life wanting that very thing

Think Adam & Eve and the apple story. Those goatfvckers knew what they writing about
 
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RickTheToad

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Fatal mistake OP. The moment you tell a woman she can't have something, she'll spend the rest of her life wanting that very thing

Think Adam & Eve and the apple story. Those goatfvckers knew what they writing about
There's a better chance in Hillary Clinton becoming present than me getting a marriage license. If Tiffanny Trump said hey Rick, let's get married, I still say f uck no.
 

Alvafe

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yeah most countrys don't consider religious marriage as real marriage, i my country is like that, but have the issue of living together enough so it still can be considered marriage, course only for divorce and ineritance.

but children is a whole other issue, as long you register the kid as yours, now he is your problem you don't need to be married for child support

Fatal mistake OP. The moment you tell a woman she can't have something, she'll spend the rest of her life wanting that very thing

Think Adam & Eve and the apple story. Those goatfvckers knew what they writing about
if that make her ask every year if they will get marriage and he says no, but still stay around, its his win, she will try to change him, and he will keep strong, with also mean, the day he cave is the day it will end, funny no?
 

Mauser96

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Thoughts in bold
I thought it would be a good share with the community, so here I go. Met the GF about a year ago. We seemed to hit it off well. After we went from casual dating to "exclusive", her idea, I agreed a few months later, I always stated I'd never, ever get married again, she had no issues. I would like a family, just no contract with the State or deal with family law attorneys. Connecticut is one of the worst States to get divorced in. She brought it up again and I reiterated, I will NEVER, EVER get married. She then said, that will not work for her as she always dreamed of marriage. I then said, then we should think things through to see if this is worth continuing. She asked me to ask a lawyer for options, I have a few friends who are family law attorneys, so I did. I was told, should I agree, and I am not there right now, we can have a religious ceremony and a private marriage, she seemed fine with that.

She came over on Friday and something seemed on her mind. After 30 minutes or so, she told me. She spoke to her friends and she doesn't understand why marriage is out the window and she wants a marriage some day. I then said, wait a minute, I told you from the beginning that this was not an option, and you said no problem. You brought this up again a few months ago, and you then reaffirmed. She claimed she didn't understand, and then started crying. THE OLD BAIT AND SWITCH , FOLLOWED UP BY THE TEARS. THE OPTION YOU PROPOSED DOESN'T GUARANTEE A PAYOUT, NOr GIVE HER THE LEVERAGE SHE PREFERS. I said, listen, if this is what you want, I cannot give it to you, perhaps we should reexamine this relationship. She backed away, but continues on, but why? Simple, I do not need the State taking half or more of my stuff in case this doesn't work out. She said she'd sign a pre-nup, and I said they are worthless since several were recently overturned. She also confirmed her friends said (they are both in family law), that pre-nups can be overturned, and is at a judges discretion. I said, I am not going over this again. You have to weigh the pluses and minuses for a worthless piece of paper. She calmed down and dropped it until the next morning and said I hope we can come to something where we're both happy. I said, if marriage is what you need, I will not be able to give that to you. WAY TO STICK YO YOUR GUNS

So, it seems this will eventually end; most likely by me, not her, which is unfortunate. Even when you are crystal clear in your intentions, they still do not understand. THEY UNDERSTAND JUST FINE. THEIR INTENTION IS TO CHANGE YOUR MIND. She's a good person and I want her to be happy. However, I will not allow the State, Court or POS family law attorneys extract my hard earned money and assets.. I didn't lose anything in my last divorce and subsequent annulment, but the legal fees were insane. No pre-nup can protect against that. It was an unreal experience.
 
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RickTheToad

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if that make her ask every year if they will get marriage and he says no, but still stay around, its his win, she will try to change him, and he will keep strong, with also mean, the day he cave is the day it will end, funny no?
Thoughts in bold
I thought it would be a good share with the community, so here I go. Met the GF about a year ago. We seemed to hit it off well. After we went from casual dating to "exclusive", her idea, I agreed a few months later, I always stated I'd never, ever get married again, she had no issues. I would like a family, just no contract with the State or deal with family law attorneys. Connecticut is one of the worst States to get divorced in. She brought it up again and I reiterated, I will NEVER, EVER get married. She then said, that will not work for her as she always dreamed of marriage. I then said, then we should think things through to see if this is worth continuing. She asked me to ask a lawyer for options, I have a few friends who are family law attorneys, so I did. I was told, should I agree, and I am not there right now, we can have a religious ceremony and a private marriage, she seemed fine with that.

She came over on Friday and something seemed on her mind. After 30 minutes or so, she told me. She spoke to her friends and she doesn't understand why marriage is out the window and she wants a marriage some day. I then said, wait a minute, I told you from the beginning that this was not an option, and you said no problem. You brought this up again a few months ago, and you then reaffirmed. She claimed she didn't understand, and then started crying. THE OLD BAIT AND SWITCH , FOLLOWED UP BY THE TEARS. THE OPTION YOU PROPOSED DOESN'T GUARANTEE A PAYOUT, NOr GIVE HER THE LEVERAGE SHE PREFERS. I said, listen, if this is what you want, I cannot give it to you, perhaps we should reexamine this relationship. She backed away, but continues on, but why? Simple, I do not need the State taking half or more of my stuff in case this doesn't work out. She said she'd sign a pre-nup, and I said they are worthless since several were recently overturned. She also confirmed her friends said (they are both in family law), that pre-nups can be overturned, and is at a judges discretion. I said, I am not going over this again. You have to weigh the pluses and minuses for a worthless piece of paper. She calmed down and dropped it until the next morning and said I hope we can come to something where we're both happy. I said, if marriage is what you need, I will not be able to give that to you. WAY TO STICK YO YOUR GUNS

So, it seems this will eventually end; most likely by me, not her, which is unfortunate. Even when you are crystal clear in your intentions, they still do not understand. THEY UNDERSTAND JUST FINE. THEIR INTENTION IS TO CHANGE YOUR MIND. She's a good person and I want her to be happy. However, I will not allow the State, Court or POS family law attorneys extract my hard earned money and assets.. I didn't lose anything in my last divorce and subsequent annulment, but the legal fees were insane. No pre-nup can protect against that. It was an unreal experience.
I ain't going to change my mind. I have no problems walking away.. Some may know, I've done this a few times already. The family court and family law lawyers can bring any person to their knees. I refuse to put myself in that position. Doesn't matter the gender, Adele is going to get f ucked anally w/o lube and lose a big chunk of her assets. These laws need to change.
 

CopperHead

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My father was cheated on and divorced by my mother. My uncle has been divorced 3 times. My grandmother has been divorced twice. The divorce rate is insane. I have always had negative feelings about marriage.

Me ex begged me to marry her. She had a pinterest full of wedding dresses. She told me what kind of ring she wanted. I had all kinds of external pressure to marry her. Friends would tell me "if you like it then you better put a ring on it". My mom even tried pressuring me to marry her. I explained to her that I don't believe in marriage. I told her the same thing as you, that we can have a ceremony, vows, commitment, but I don't believe in getting married.

After a while I think it slowly got to her. I think her friends talking fed into this. Women get together and they show off their rings. I think after a while, women internalize that there must be something wrong with them, or wrong with the relationship. After spending time with her friends, she would come home and ask me "why don't you want to marry me?"

We broke up at the beginning of this year. I bought a house with her. I expressed how committed I was to her. She found another guy to replace me.
 
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