"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Epic Moral Crisis

Forty0ztoFreedom

Senior Don Juan
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Cute girl.

Changing for Shower.

Window directly across from you.

Blinds/shades WIDE open.

What do you do. WHAT DO YOU DO.

I don't go looking for this. Its hard to miss this window, especially knowing this almost happened once before. You can see that the light is on just by passing by. So I glanced tonight on my way upstairs (admittedly my own weakness), and lo and behold . .

Once you see those arms wrap around the shirt and start to pull up, you're 12 again. I dunno, honestly, I'd be lying if I said I don't feel guilty. But what the fvck. I'm in my house . . what, I have to watch where I look now in my own house?

Who leaves there window open like that, directly across from another house, with the light on. She even turned another light on to make it brighter in the midst of this.

Daaammnn. What would you guys do?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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theunflushables

Master Don Juan
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Pull it out and start jerking! :D

Honestly, I'd look, but I wouldn't stand there forever staring like a perv. Unless the lights were off in the room I was in, then I would stare like a perv.

True story, this once happened to me while staying at a hostel in Germany.
 

Rogue

Master Don Juan
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Where is the moral crisis? The girl absconded from her responsibility, to which she is fully cognitively aware to uphold, to close the blinds. She may well have probably purposefully left the window bare open, figuring nobody would be around to look, or perhaps she has an exhibitionist streak, but you have no responsibility to correct her mistake, and you should have no guilt in enjoying your natural instincts. Enjoy the show, discreetly. Try to pick her up when you see her around the neighborhood, never mentioning your secret naughty knowledge.
 

Ease

Master Don Juan
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If i didn't know better i would say she's asking for it.

Is she close enough to hear you? You need to open her.

'Hey how's it going :)'. At worst case scenario, it would be hilarious.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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search1ng

Master Don Juan
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What ease said. Do it when she's taking her top off. please post back with results.
 

Jitterbug

Master Don Juan
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I thought the moral crisis was that you've already taken photos / videos and you're dying to share with us on SS.
 

spider_007

Master Don Juan
Joined
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if i seen that, i'd pick up the phone and call her right away:

"You look lovley tonight....i was tempted to knock on the window and suprise you" At which point she would be really embarased and it would be funny...or...she'd call you bluf."
 
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