"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Enthusiastic while texting, bored while

C

Colin O'Brien

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I've been hanging with/hooking up with this girl for a few weeks.. we really only see each other on the weekends and we chat on AIM/texting a lot. When we're texting or whatever she's usually super open and excited to chat with me, but whenever we're together (usually with her friends) she almost never opens up.. she even rejects kino sometimes!

At first I just assumed she wasn't down for me anymore but I realized that she's usually the one eager to talk and hang out with me, and I've only seen her with her friends for the past few times so I think it might even be that she's shy around them. I dunno.. what do you guys think is going on here?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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D

dbot

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Have you done anything physical with her yet (kissed/made out/etc)? Maybe she's just nervous when you're actually together.
 
H

hondo928

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I'd go with nervousness, I'm guilty of the same thing sometimes, it's very easy to seem your excited over a text message, it's such an impersonal form of communication.
 
S

shaunuk

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When you hang out, are her friends always with you? That could be one reason for being standoff-ish. Some girls don't wanna be touchy-feely infront of their friends, and feel awkward/shy about doing such.

If she's like this when you two are alone it could be a comfort thing. You've got attraction (presumably, if you're hooking up), but comfort could be lacking. Getting the shag might be difficult before you build some comfort.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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G

Groovy

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FEar of rejection? Maybe she feels like she's being judged or something.

Anyways if I was you, I'd build an awsome fun vibe, be more extroverted and relaxed, she couldn't help it but to NOT join the fun.

It's not your job to make her have fun, but at least make your own fun, she'll join! Of course if she "isn't in the mood", whatever, you're having fun anyway, it's her loss.

But consider that you're spending time on being bored and all. What the heck? Find some other thing to do if so.

Or in these kinds of sitautions, I bet it would really help to isolate her and say something like: What's the deal here, we're not having any fun, lets just go to some other place, I bet we'd have much better moments just the two of us. :D

Something along these lines of course. But I'm not sure, I'm just saying, that's what I would do anyway.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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