"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Enlightenment

wetheliving

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Enlightenment

I guess we’re all here on this site to learn something about life and how to live it in a successful way, all of course in a quest to make ourselves happier.

What I’ve found at as you get a bit older and you learn to better analyse a situation and you learn to react more rational instead of emotional to situations, you will get to a point where you become almost too rational and I guess it raises the bar when it comes to experiencing great joy and great sadness or anger.

For Example:

Girls dumps you :
old emotional reaction: depressed and disappointed
new rational reaction: plenty more fish in the sea, it’s her loss
in short: it doesn’t effect you anymore

job interview rejection:
old emotional reaction: depressed and disappointed
new rational reaction: I’m smart, I can get another job in no time
in short: it doesn’t effect you anymore

favourite soccer team loses:
old emotional reaction: depressed and disappointed
new rational reaction: it’s ok, there’s another game next week or next month
in short: it doesn’t effect you anymore

but also:

You like a girl:
old emotional reaction: butterflies in your stomach in no time
new rational reaction: she’s nice, but there are other girls, she’s not perfect
in short: it doesn’t effect you anymore


Now I guess this is what you call wisdom. You’re now able to react to situations by analysing what’s going on by using your new found wisdom. I guess that’s part of being wise, I mean the stereotypical old wise man is hardly the most spectacular and impulsive person, but the downside is that it’s tough to completely let go and just let yourself be controlled by your emotions,.

They always say that love is the most intense when you’re sixteen or seventeen years old, I guess they say that because that’s when you lack wisdom and the ability to put things in perspective and you just react so intensely and emotional to things.

Now I wouldn’t want to go back to my days of pre-enlightenment, but it would be nice to not be so analytical all the time. Has anyone else experienced this, or does anyone have any solutions?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Cbaoth

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Like the nick, you a Rand fan?
 

Jariel

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Good post and spot on. Once people cross that boundary and allow things that don't matter to pass, they learn to value life a lot more.
 

quest

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Originally posted by wetheliving
For Example:

Girls dumps you :
old emotional reaction: depressed and disappointed
new rational reaction: plenty more fish in the sea, it’s her loss
in short: it doesn’t effect you anymore

job interview rejection:
old emotional reaction: depressed and disappointed
new rational reaction: I’m smart, I can get another job in no time
in short: it doesn’t effect you anymore

favourite soccer team loses:
old emotional reaction: depressed and disappointed
new rational reaction: it’s ok, there’s another game next week or next month
in short: it doesn’t effect you anymore

but also:

You like a girl:
old emotional reaction: butterflies in your stomach in no time
new rational reaction: she’s nice, but there are other girls, she’s not perfect
in short: it doesn’t effect you anymore
great first post.
how long have u been lurking? u sound like a seasoned veteran.
unfortunantly, not all people reach the new state that you talk of.
i am not sure if i would have ever reached that state without first finding this site.

yes, it has changed me that much.
 

TJSmitty

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The wiser you become, the less attached you are to everything, due to attachment being the source of all grief. Moving on is a much easier process.

I still have many attachments. Not yet am I wise. Not yet.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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wetheliving

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Yeah I like Ayn Rand.

Yeah I've been around for a while, impoving myself along the way.

Thanks for the reply's, but I also think reaching this stage is not all good, it kind of numbs you emotionally and that makes you very difficult to connect with for other people, since they usually react so differently to situations.

That can be a downside.

I wouldn't like to go back to my old state though.
 
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