To those whose success annoys their fathers...
I can totally relate. It seems it also annoys brothers as well.
In high school and early college, we develop habits. Aristotle says (and I totally agree) that we are the sum of our habits. Some people can't break their old habits and they wonder why their lives are going in circles. Others can imagine a success they want and so shape the habits to fit the success, turning themselves into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Change your habits and so change yourself. It is that simple.
I meet people I haven't seen in years and they don't recognize me. When they realize it is me, they just look at me in awe. To me, they are almost exactly the same since I last saw them.
We cannot control Time. But we can control our habits that does create our future.
Hi Survivor!
Originally posted by Survivor
Self-improvement for the sake of feeding off other people's insecurities is nothing more than supplication.
It's
blue!
It's blue supplication!
If you feel that the people that dissed you in your past need to know how successful you are today, then perhaps you're still more "AFC" than you realize.
Survivor, you are thinking that I am saying: "Oh, how I have made so many failures in my life! Oh, if they could only see me now! I must self-improve due to their insecurities!"
How you are reading that from the post leaves me in a state of astonishment. I suppose people see what they want to see.
I've always believed people have more potential, more possibilities, than they ever realize. Realizing one's potential takes more strength than can be communicated.
Most people just... stop. They get grounded up into conformity. They may think that they are still special. But the harsh truth is that they are now just like everyone else. They work at a job they hate (or merely go through for a good wage), return home to perform their 'family duties' like going through the motion in life, almost in a sleep walk. Watching football, heroic movies, etc. all day will be their 'masculinity' buzz as they no longer seem to have it within themselves.
This is how many people think of their life: to graduate highschool, to graduate college (or a good trade school), get a good job, marry, crank out kids, raise kids, grow old, die. This is how my parents think I'd live my life. But I told them, "I will define my own life."
One of my most common questions to people is, "What is your passion in life?" I ask this to older people. They always get a sad look in their eyes and tell me their tale. They gave it up, gave it all up as they grounded up in conformity. They work at jobs they hate 'just to get by'. I've never seen such misery. (If you give up on your dreams, you might as well just give up on your soul. For your dreams and your soul are not two but one).
So what if past girlfriends thought(and think) of me as a loser? I blame myself for that. I take full responsibility for what I communicate to others through my appearance, personality and character.
I've moved on with my life and hopefully they've moved on with theirs. And I leave it at that.
I smell a lot of bitterness here.
Let me explain the post so there is no confusion:
As long as you stay in your mold, as the one that everyone sees you in, you are OK. They like you because they can define you. You are harmless.
But when you break OUT of that mold, everything changes. And when I say 'break out', I mean MAJORLY.
If I were a Genie Pook, I would grant you several million dollars. Now, what would the result be?
No, you wouldn't exactly change. Everyone else around you would. You would have more friends than you ever dreamed of. These people would act like they have a RIGHT to your money. You try to go hang out and talk with your friends like normal and they will say, "How can you talk about this? YOU are a millionaire!" Not everyone will despise you, of course. But many will. And you will be astonished at those who will... often times they are your closest relatives...
"But Pook, we are not millionaires."
Not yet. But you are with women. You are with life.
Say you want to be an astronaut. You will hear from experienced members of the program: "Don't do that. It is not worth it. I wish I went into blah blah." Or say if you want to be a writer or artist or whatever. You will hear the same thing, the same echo from the failures: "Go put your energy in something else." They didn't succeed and don't want you to either.
Why is there an income tax? Do not legislatures (who are wealthy) want a lower tax for themselves? Do not these lobbyists want lower tax on their higher incomes? But they do not get their wealth from incomes like you or I do. They have their wealth and want to close the doors on your dreams. (This is why the tax is on INCOME and not on WEALTH. It closes the door on those
persisting to be wealthy, not those who already are.)
I've even read here that some people want to 'lock this website up' to not let others succeed! People want to seize the cake of success and hide it from everyone else!
In your exes and every girl who blew you off's ideal world: you would remain EXACTLY who you are and DECLINE even more. People would rather have their vanities intact than to smile on your success.
The more successful you become, the more people will try to tear you down. They will cheer if you go down in flames. This is not paranoia. It is the dark corner of the Human mind.
It is a custom that everyone believes himself or herself special, important, and the center of the universe. When you, minding your own business, break the mold, they will not like it. Many won't display it now because they are rationalizing it away: "Yes, he has changed BUT he is still the same because..." You THINK differently and THIS makes all the difference. When it suddenly becomes clear that you are not what they thought you were, they will retaliate. And this is where many people crack.
I was surprised to see this same sentiment expressed by Anthony Ellis, the guy who specializes in building mass in skinny guys. He says:
You're ok as long as you remain the usual, "ordinary" Joe. But try to break out of the mold, and you'll suddenly see shocked eyebrows being raised everywhere. Friends and family start to probe your latest fixation. People will start noticing you at the gym and offer condescending advice. Your colleagues will see you growing and start joking about the change to you.
The fact is people down want you to change. It makes them insecure, because they suddenly discover there's more to you than they were probably willing to admit. I've seen so many people switching programs or stopping midway just because they are so afraid of making mistakes. They fear being the butt of all those mean jokes. They fear being left behind. They fear being watched and envied. They fear being different in any way.
Being a Don Juan IS going to make you different. So what are we to do? Go back to our Nice Guy days? Go back to the AFC mindset of flowers, bad poetry, and chocolate?
As we post here, life continues to march on. Why are we still chattering here?
Some people only want to retreat from their mistakes. "Am I AFC in doing this!? What about this?" When they get angry, they sound like this: "You are the AFC!" "No, sir, it is you!" Back and forth they go with the AFC label. "You supplicated when you did this! No, you supplicated when you did that!"
When I came to this site, I was reaching for love. Now, I reach for life.
AFCs fear this, AFCs fear that. Suggesting that there is some 'latent AFCism' runing through puts me at a loss. Fear? I honestly don't understand the word any longer.
As for me, what people call 'fear' I call
anti-life!
