"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Ended my LTR of two years

Reason

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I just ended my LTR of two years. Realized it just could not work going forward-we are too different. I feel good but I’m naturally having my ups and downs.

Overall, I feel stronger coming out of this relationship because I now have a better understanding of what I’m looking for and what I’m not.

Now, as I re-enter the world of dating and being single, I feel it is time to reacquaint myself with this forum and maybe even contribute a little bit. Before my LTR I was a fairly successful DJ so I hope I haven’t lost my touch.

So greetings everyone and I hope to learn, share war stories and all that good stuff with all of you.

~Reason
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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KarmaSutra

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As an Ambassador of SoSuave I welcome you Brother.

You're going to go through the emotional roller coaster but always know you have fellow Brothers who have ridden this ride and made it out stronger than they ever thought possible.

If you have any specific questions please post them here and we'll help you.

DO NOT go back to her out of self doubt or lonliness. Instead come here for guidance and uplifting.

You'll be fine.
 

KontrollerX

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Welcome back.

We all look forward to what you have to share with us.
 

Latinoman

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Reason said:
Now, as I re-enter the world of dating and being single, I feel it is time to reacquaint myself with this forum and maybe even contribute a little bit. Before my LTR I was a fairly successful DJ so I hope I haven’t lost my touch.


~Reason
DJism is not about picking women. It is about self-improvement. Therefore, I hope you did not stop being a DJ just because you were in a relationship.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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penkitten

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Latinoman said:
DJism is not about picking women. It is about self-improvement. Therefore, I hope you did not stop being a DJ just because you were in a relationship.
i wish everyone at this site felt the same way latinoman:cheer: ...
 

jophil28

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Latinoman said:
DJism is not about picking women. It is about self-improvement. Therefore, I hope you did not stop being a DJ just because you were in a relationship.
And this is a mistake that most of us make ONCE (and only once if we are smart )..
Why do good men stop being GOOD with their women in an LTR ?

The result is that we are no longer the guy with whom she fell in love....and the inevitable happens. Crash and burn..
 

guru1000

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The essence of being a DJ is creating so much VALUE within yourself that women are simply the by-product, not the goal.
 

jophil28

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Reason said:
I just ended my LTR of two years. Realized it just could not work going forward-we are too different. I feel good but I’m naturally having my ups and downs.

~Reason
Do you want to give us a brief tour the reasons that it failed ?
Perhaps some of us can learn from your mistakes.
 

romangod

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guru1000 said:
The essence of being a DJ is creating so much VALUE within yourself that women are simply the by-product, not the goal.


Cheers! :up:
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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joekerr31

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the key is realizing that nothing is permanent in life. all things are temporary, because your life itself is temporary.

this is why the buddhists tell us not to get too attached to anything.

i've always said, life is merely an experience. this is why you should never get to upset over anything - its just an experience.

the only reason people get upset is because they go into things with expectations about how they will work out. and when they dont work out the way they wanted they get upset.

i personally see no reason to ever get upset because i don't expect life to unfold anywhich way. whatever happens, happens - you gotta go with the flow.
 

The Bat

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Being a DJ is a life long commitment. You don't just turn it "off" for a little while (in a LTR) and expect to turn it back "on" after you get out of LTR. I will quote what I told somebody on here awhile ago...the original question was "how to be a DJ boyfriend"....I think this quote applies to your situation too:

DJ mindset is not something you "switch" to when single and are picking up girls. See what happens with having this "switch" technique is that, and this has happened in your case, you turn off this DJ mindset once you become exclusive. You say to yourself, "Alright, well now that I'm with her, I can turn off the DJ mindset about not being jealous and whatever because she's with me. I don't need to put any 'effort' in because we're exclusive."

A DJ mindset is a natural perspective and natural way to exude confidence. You don't "employ" DJ thought processes. You just have them. Too many times guys here think that being DJ applies to singlehood when picking up chicks is very important. Too many times these same guys, including yourself, think that DJ principles don't carry over to exclusive relationships. Oh how wrong they (you) are!
 
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