"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Ended my LTR of two years

Reason

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I just ended my LTR of two years. Realized it just could not work going forward-we are too different. I feel good but I’m naturally having my ups and downs.

Overall, I feel stronger coming out of this relationship because I now have a better understanding of what I’m looking for and what I’m not.

Now, as I re-enter the world of dating and being single, I feel it is time to reacquaint myself with this forum and maybe even contribute a little bit. Before my LTR I was a fairly successful DJ so I hope I haven’t lost my touch.

So greetings everyone and I hope to learn, share war stories and all that good stuff with all of you.

~Reason
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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KarmaSutra

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As an Ambassador of SoSuave I welcome you Brother.

You're going to go through the emotional roller coaster but always know you have fellow Brothers who have ridden this ride and made it out stronger than they ever thought possible.

If you have any specific questions please post them here and we'll help you.

DO NOT go back to her out of self doubt or lonliness. Instead come here for guidance and uplifting.

You'll be fine.
 

KontrollerX

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Welcome back.

We all look forward to what you have to share with us.
 

Latinoman

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Reason said:
Now, as I re-enter the world of dating and being single, I feel it is time to reacquaint myself with this forum and maybe even contribute a little bit. Before my LTR I was a fairly successful DJ so I hope I haven’t lost my touch.


~Reason
DJism is not about picking women. It is about self-improvement. Therefore, I hope you did not stop being a DJ just because you were in a relationship.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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penkitten

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Latinoman said:
DJism is not about picking women. It is about self-improvement. Therefore, I hope you did not stop being a DJ just because you were in a relationship.
i wish everyone at this site felt the same way latinoman:cheer: ...
 

jophil28

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Latinoman said:
DJism is not about picking women. It is about self-improvement. Therefore, I hope you did not stop being a DJ just because you were in a relationship.
And this is a mistake that most of us make ONCE (and only once if we are smart )..
Why do good men stop being GOOD with their women in an LTR ?

The result is that we are no longer the guy with whom she fell in love....and the inevitable happens. Crash and burn..
 

guru1000

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The essence of being a DJ is creating so much VALUE within yourself that women are simply the by-product, not the goal.
 

jophil28

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Reason said:
I just ended my LTR of two years. Realized it just could not work going forward-we are too different. I feel good but I’m naturally having my ups and downs.

~Reason
Do you want to give us a brief tour the reasons that it failed ?
Perhaps some of us can learn from your mistakes.
 

romangod

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guru1000 said:
The essence of being a DJ is creating so much VALUE within yourself that women are simply the by-product, not the goal.


Cheers! :up:
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

joekerr31

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the key is realizing that nothing is permanent in life. all things are temporary, because your life itself is temporary.

this is why the buddhists tell us not to get too attached to anything.

i've always said, life is merely an experience. this is why you should never get to upset over anything - its just an experience.

the only reason people get upset is because they go into things with expectations about how they will work out. and when they dont work out the way they wanted they get upset.

i personally see no reason to ever get upset because i don't expect life to unfold anywhich way. whatever happens, happens - you gotta go with the flow.
 

The Bat

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Being a DJ is a life long commitment. You don't just turn it "off" for a little while (in a LTR) and expect to turn it back "on" after you get out of LTR. I will quote what I told somebody on here awhile ago...the original question was "how to be a DJ boyfriend"....I think this quote applies to your situation too:

DJ mindset is not something you "switch" to when single and are picking up girls. See what happens with having this "switch" technique is that, and this has happened in your case, you turn off this DJ mindset once you become exclusive. You say to yourself, "Alright, well now that I'm with her, I can turn off the DJ mindset about not being jealous and whatever because she's with me. I don't need to put any 'effort' in because we're exclusive."

A DJ mindset is a natural perspective and natural way to exude confidence. You don't "employ" DJ thought processes. You just have them. Too many times guys here think that being DJ applies to singlehood when picking up chicks is very important. Too many times these same guys, including yourself, think that DJ principles don't carry over to exclusive relationships. Oh how wrong they (you) are!
 
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