Ended my dating with a girl for being a beta male

[sph21]

Thailand, Japan, China, Mexico, Brazil, Peru.

And Jupiter. Them alien bishes got 3 tits.. yum .. hahahhahaah

It was a silly question. Thanks for pointing that out.

 

[Wolfgang D]

sph21, AFC means Average Frustrated Chump. It used to be a common phrase in this forum when I was lurking in the past. I come back a few years later, and suddenly it's all "beta" and "alpha", "red pill" and "blue pill".

AFC is a better word than beta, I think. AFC means that you make mistakes with women specifically - that you are too mushy, try to please them too much, bring them gifts, compliment them, put them on a pedestal, etc. Beta means all that plus a general lack of quality in life. AFC means "bad with women" specifically, beta implies "bad at everything". Most of the time a guy doesn't deserve to be called a beta. You, for example, may have been an AFC with this girl, but that doesn't mean you are a beta in life. Right?


With "crash and burn completely" I mean doing irreparable damage to your reputation, or to your life. Like freaking out and then start crying in a bar. Or start drinking, stop going to work and get fired. Things like that.

Even if you say something that makes you cringe afterward (like "sorry for being beta" - maybe you can convince her that you meant you are a "beta tester" for a new computer game? Heh), don't beat yourself up over it. As long as you didn't do something really, really bad, it's okay. She knows, everyone knows, that sometimes we say silly things. She has done the same.


Remember this also: women can't see through you. Next time you see her, if you act like you aren't bothered by your earlier behavior, she will think you aren't. Maybe she won't be sure that you don't care ... but she can't be sure that you do care either.

A piece of advice I have remembered for a long time is this: if a woman is giving you a hard time verbally, just lean back, smile a bit, breathe in deeply and slowly, and then breathe out. Women can't make that sound men do when we breathe in and out deeply. It is a subtle way of showing that you are a man and you don't care what she says. Can be used whenever, not only when a woman is attacking you. It shows that you are perfectly at ease with who you are and where you are.

Women believe that men are more sure of themselves than women are, never forget that. They believe that we don't doubt ourselves as much as they do. They believe that we don't regret our actions all the time like they do. Act cool about what happened and you will take the edge off any "beta" stuff you did.

 

[sph21]

Wolfgang D, thanks for your explainations. Before I read your definitions of beta and AFC, I thought AFC is worst than beta.

I don't like to do "crash and burn completely".

When I started dating with this girl, I knew that I was breaking all rules I've learnt before.

Okay, I'll remember that. Thanks.

 

[gravityeyelids]

normally i would say that was a very wussy way to end it, and you shouldn't have done it. BUT. In this case it was fine. regardless of how you acted, i can guarantee that you are going to remember it for the rest of your life and it's going to make a positive impact. You are going to see yourself slippinng to beta in the future and catch yourself upon remembering this and hopefully change your behavior for the better.

I mean, you're ending it with this girl, so it's not like it matters what she thinks of you now (unless you're planning on getting with her friends....in which case you're screwed). Like they say: the first step to overcoming your problem is admitting it and facing it head on. You get a thumbs up from me