Emotionally resented for being unattractive?

[sambwoy]

Why do some women do this? I have noticed this a lot on forums. You have a guy who has anxieties or a venting about being rejected or neglected socially for being unattractive (or his perception), and the females just talk down to him, but unaware of the psychological implications of doing this?

Is being unattractive immoral? These people need help, didn't get lucky in the gene pool, have nowhere to go, and these females on the forums make him out to be the loser? They don't sympathize. Unattractive people are not protected by law from abuse (or are they?), and certain minorities are?

This is one of those things that really do divide the genders. You have brotherhood and sisterhood. You rarely get a woman who has the mindset of a 'bro', unless you have a woman who has deeply studied psychology.

Thoughts?

 

[Dance]

I have not really experienced any of this, either to myself or with a mate, there is 1 time I can think of.

This would have been like 3 years ago, when we were 17. A close mate of mine had been rejected a few times by numerous girls at a party, but got with some massive whale of a girl. He was pretty drunk and went out to the front and shed a tear.

A few girls within our social circle went out there to comfort him, but he was friendzoned as fuark. They were essentially saying "no you're not unattractive, but no,we won't hook up with you"

I think it has more to do with how you present yourself


I know girls who have gotten with ugly kids because they show confidence in themselves and they are attracted to the confidence. I have spoken to them after and teased them and given them some flak for getting with someone unattractive. Most of the time they will admit he is not attractive, but say confidence was the key.


You don't have to be Ryan Gosling to get girls. Sure, it does help, but portraying an aura of confidence and having a carefree attitude will be the defining factor.


Girls think similarly to us in this regard;

Imagine this

HB8 being all whiny and depressed cause she thinks she is ugly.

HB7 being fun and confident.


I'm sure most guys would rather chat up the HB7 if they want to have a bit of fun.



TL;DR - Portray yourself as a victim, and you'll be treated like one.


Make the most of what you have, and strive to improve yourself
and you'll only do better than what you are now.

 

[Mike32ct]

There is no reason for a guy to post online that women don't find him attractive AND expect that women will post advice to help or encourage him. It's not going to happen.

If you aren't HER physical type, yes, it's over with her. But she doesn't want you to succeed with any other women either. This is because her ego is heavily invested in her belief that she's better than you. She'll either insult this guy, subtly talk down to the guy, or at best patronize him with something like, "It's what's inside that counts. You'll find the right girl someday" lol.

Many of women's put-downs are VERY subtle and missed by men. But they happen frequently.

One female coworker asks me about my dance class frequently. Ok cool. She's into salsa. I do ballroom. Fine.

HB: How's dancing?
Mike: blah blah blah

HB: We'll at least your having fun and getting out of the house.

Translation: You'll never be any good at it or meet anybody. So at least you can be a loser that is having fun outside the house rather than a loser who hides at home and watches porn lol.

 

[Trump]

Mike32ct: I would have said "yeah it's much better than that salsa you are doing, what the heck is that?" Bait her and get her to qualify herself to you.

To OP: Women don't give a rat's ass about "psychological implications". If they can, they will crush you into the ground and spit on your grave. I've seen it several times. You can't let it bother you, got to focus on what you want.

The world has changed. Women are now in the mindset of "be rich, give me money, and make me feel good for the next 5 minutes." They think they are completely worth it due to Disney movies and ads. The "me, me, me" attitude and "how can I make a fool of the you and get you to spend your money at the same time." corrupts civilization, you can either fight it or use it to your advantage.

 

[Mike32ct]

Mike32ct: I would have said "yeah it's much better than that salsa you are doing, what the heck is that?" Bait her and get her to qualify herself to you.


Thanks Trump. She doesn't even take a class. She's one of those "I don't need a class; I got 'rhythm'" sort of people lol. Or "Only the guy needs training because I'm such a great follower lol."

I have nothing against her personally. Sad as it sounds, she's one of the nicest ones I deal with on a daily basis lol.

To OP: Women don't give a rat's ass about "psychological implications". If they can, they will crush you into the ground and spit on your grave. I've seen it several times. You can't let it bother you, got to focus on what you want.

^Signature quote worthy. Women only have empathy for their children, at best. None for men.

The world has changed. Women are now in the mindset of "be rich, give me money, and make me feel good for the next 5 minutes." They think they are completely worth it due to Disney movies and ads. The "me, me, me" attitude and "how can I make a fool of the you and get you to spend your money at the same time." corrupts civilization, you can either fight it or use it to your advantage.

True.

 

[sambwoy]

There is no reason for a guy to post online that women don't find him attractive AND expect that women will post advice to help or encourage him. It's not going to happen.

If you aren't HER physical type, yes, it's over with her. But she doesn't want you to succeed with any other women either. This is because her ego is heavily invested in her belief that she's better than you. She'll either insult this guy, subtly talk down to the guy, or at best patronize him with something like, "It's what's inside that counts. You'll find the right girl someday" lol.

Exactly. Those who deal in those worn-out anecdotes really annoy me. They'd be actually dating a 3 or 4 guy if they believed that BS.

The other tactic is they accuse the guy of his own perception of life being at fault. Wrong. This is a guy who has been there and seen it.

Media like Disney etc. always come at the sex/romantic angle.
Y'know there are possibly people interested in other things.

 

[FairShake]

People are sh!tty on internet forums.

 

[Tomo]

Because people need to realise to be the person you want to be begins with yourself and not venting and blaming someone else. Reality check: The world is cruel place - no one gives a f*ck about you and will continue to move on even if you don't.
So what do you do? You learn to play it's game - you develop value. It's this value - what people want from you that then allows you to rise above everything. You don't go whining on a forum cos at the end of the day, no one gives a sh*t about YOUR problems.

 

[devilkingx2]

you know how there are complete A-holes who are only nice to hot chicks(for being hot chicks) and no one else?

there are women like that too, they treat you like **** because they don't want the D

 

[old_skoolr]

Girl: Your f.uckin ugly

Old_skoolr: That's true, but you dont have to look in my eyes, while your sucking my d.ick

 

[sambwoy]

Because people need to realise to be the person you want to be begins with yourself and not venting and blaming someone else. Reality check: The world is cruel place - no one gives a f*ck about you and will continue to move on even if you don't.

Tell me about it. Its age and experience. Sure, I fell into the 'woe is me' trap a while back, and if you're very young, there's little to no outlets to express yourself (I've looked into the 'sheeple syndrome') and many psychological barriers to break down aside from having a good psychiatrist. Ironically, it's not manly and it turned out I was probably repelling more people with my attitude.

 

[sambwoy]

you know how there are complete A-holes who are only nice to hot chicks(for being hot chicks) and no one else?

there are women like that too, they treat you like **** because they don't want the D

If on the last part you meant some women favoritise hot guys (even socially, let alone romantically) over the 'average', then yes.

 

[sambwoy]

If you aren't HER physical type, yes, it's over with her. But she doesn't want you to succeed with any other women either. This is because her ego is heavily invested in her belief that she's better than you. She'll either insult this guy, subtly talk down to the guy, or at best patronize him with something like, "It's what's inside that counts. You'll find the right girl someday" lol.

Many dating articles WRITTEN by MEN don't see this. They all go on about taking responsibility for yourself.
Maybe taking responsibility for oneself lies in their somewhere, but I think there's a bigger picture. You have to draw a line. It's sick how society causes men to go around internalizing self-blame and showing low esteem when for a good amount of the time there is no reason to do that. Funny how the minute you go out with a girl most people don't consider attractive (at least in your circles), the 'attractive' ones only then consider sweeping YOU up. Why?

You know what? I have hardly ever approached women until I have broken down enough psychological barriers and got enough courage. I know where I stand. I never got any attention, and through my youth attracting a woman was a 'laughable concept'.

How do you deal with absorbing the concept that your parents calling you 'handsome' is something of a white lie, and most probably, not in line with how strange women are actually reacting? What do you do with that?

Truth is, many womens' mindset differs from a man's. Like with many subjects, their angle on it is different. They just cannot relate or care many of them. Social conditioning, maybe? I dunno.
That's why men resort to sex dolls and masturbation, because there are no outlets.

 

[Mike32ct]

Many dating articles WRITTEN by MEN don't see this. They all go on about taking responsibility for yourself.
Maybe taking responsibility for oneself lies in their somewhere, but I think there's a bigger picture. You have to draw a line. It's sick how society causes men to go around internalizing self-blame and showing low esteem when for a good amount of the time there is no reason to do that. Funny how the minute you go out with a girl most people don't consider attractive (at least in your circles), the 'attractive' ones only then consider sweeping YOU up. Why?

Women are herd creatures who generally can't think for themselves. They have to "copy-cat" other women. It's kind if funny actually. It's not just a young women thing either. I see women in their 40s doing the same thing.



You know what? I have hardly ever approached women until I have broken down enough psychological barriers and got enough courage. I know where I stand. I never got any attention, and through my youth attracting a woman was a 'laughable concept'.

How do you deal with absorbing the concept that your parents calling you 'handsome' is something of a white lie, and most probably, not in line with how strange women are actually reacting? What do you do with that?

You have to understand that they weren't "lying" to you. Lying is a deliberate deception. Every mother thinks their boy is handsome. But that has nothing to do with whether females will find him (sexually) attractive.

Your parents loving you and being proud of you and finding you "handsome" in an endearing sort of way is not the same thing as you being a hot soap opera star.

They weren't "lying" per se. They just were coming from a very different angle/perspective than girls in your class were.

Truth is, many womens' mindset differs from a man's. Like with many subjects, their angle on it is different. They just cannot relate or care many of them. Social conditioning, maybe? I dunno.
That's why men resort to sex dolls and masturbation, because there are no outlets.

Women's experiences are very different than ours. I don't necessarily blame women for not understanding me or being able to relate to me. How could they?

Do I blame them for lacking empathy towards certain men? Yes. Can I blame them for lacking sympathy? No, I can't.

 

[sambwoy]

Women's experiences are very different than ours. I don't necessarily blame women for not understanding me or being able to relate to me. How could they?

Do I blame them for lacking empathy towards certain men? Yes. Can I blame them for lacking sympathy? No, I can't.

Personally I had a history of verbal abuse, social and sexual exclusion which what caused it. Then looking into feminism, double standards and everything else after it. Can't give anyone a good outlook.

Until recently, and prior to reading more of Don Juan Forums, I was having my PARENTS to introduce me to strange women they knew and to get a conversation going on a mutual, non-romance basis, because they could see how cripplingly bad I was at this stuff, self-harming, internalizing and not being able to control anger. It sucks big time.

Actually unbeknownst to them, I was getting one step ahead in the next few years on this subject and how vile a lot of b***s are after a few more years being on this site, but never told them about what I read. They're happily married. I don't think they could relate.

How has it come to this? People have tried to reassure me in saying sex is overrated, and marriage is overrated, but I still feel there is something that needs to be fulfilled.

 

[FortunateSon]

Too many people suffer from low self-esteem, no confidence and as a result don't carry themselves too well.

I'm not the most attractive man you'll ever meet but then I'm not trying to be the best looking man in the World. I'm trying to make a successful and rewarding life for myself. I don't care if a majority of women find me unattractive as I have no intentions of being the next Dennis Rodman.

I find I'm attracting more than ever before because I'm relaxed, display confidence, make sure I showcase my good points and don't get too angered by things I cannot control.

The way I see it if I can pull women then anyone else can. A positive outlook and having a good self-esteem will put you in a much better stead than being the next Robert Smith.

 

[sambwoy]

Too many people suffer from low self-esteem, no confidence and as a result don't carry themselves too well.

I'm not the most attractive man you'll ever meet but then I'm not trying to be the best looking man in the World. I'm trying to make a successful and rewarding life for myself. I don't care if a majority of women find me unattractive as I have no intentions of being the next Dennis Rodman.

I find I'm attracting more than ever before because I'm relaxed, display confidence, make sure I showcase my good points and don't get too angered by things I cannot control.

The way I see it if I can pull women then anyone else can. A positive outlook and having a good self-esteem will put you in a much better stead than being the next Robert Smith.

That's awesome. Bravo to you! Its interesting what you can do when you're not following our mono-cultural society, with which I can understand feeling helpless and alone.

 

[Sammo]

The immortal question remains.. who gives a **** what she thinks? or what anyone thinks? so what i'm an ugly cvnt, but at least i can still get my end wet. Sucks to be a biitch!

 

[FortunateSon]

That's awesome. Bravo to you! Its interesting what you can do when you're not following our mono-cultural society, with which I can understand feeling helpless and alone.

The truth is the best thing a man can do when it comes to women is not be outcome dependent. I no longer feel outcome dependent, I can handle rejection and I no longer put all my stock in women or a positive outcome.

If a woman is interested and I feel the same way then let's see where it goes, the outcome is irrelevant to me because I don't care one way or another. If it goes well, then it goes well, if it goes down the toilet, then cool. I've lost nothing and gained nothing, so I'm still in the same position I was prior to this 'event'.

 

[VikingKing]

Women can't empathize with any of mens problems. They lack the logical abilities we have.

It's really never a good idea to shown any weakness to women. They tend to treat you with disdain when you do that. (exceptions like your mother, sisters, ect. only sometimes, still)

Women do not want you to be sensitive, and wear your heart on your sleeve.

The best thing to do as opposed to hiding it or holding it in, is to get rid of it.