Emotional Transition

[phil2015]

Hi Guys


Just been through an interesting emotional and lifestyle change, which has
occurred after by BPD/Daddy Issue/Narc walked out of my life 5 weeks ago.


Initially, for the first few weeks I was grieving. Hard.


I begged, pleaded, blew up her phone, bombarded her with texts etc….. I
cried, lots and I haven’t cried so much in years. I chased and chased and she
was on my every thought, both when I woke up and when I went to sleep. I
was beginning to question my reality, weather I was going mad and thinking
I had ‘ruined the best thing I ever had’


Only for her to repeatedly dangle the carrot, saying ‘we could’ve sorted this
out by now’ or ‘I was going to move back in’………….On two occasions she said
she wanted a ‘fresh start’ only for her to put zero effort into it, she wouldn’t even
come and meet me, stating she had to go running instead………


At around the four week stage however when I realised all of my efforts here
completely useless my mindset seemed to alter as the fog lifted out of emotional
turmoil.


Rather than seeking out a ‘relationship’, I saw the benefit in spinning plates and
ultimately not looking for anything serious right now.


A girl I dated briefly way back in 2014 subsequently got in touch and she is actually
chasing me and would like to be in a relationship, but I told her we can only be
friends with benefits, which to my surprise she accepted.


Also, as a man my mind is more focussed on my purpose and working out to be
the best possible version of myself than it is on women, certainly not my ex.


I’ve never experienced this before, such an alteration in my mindset and my emotional
core and wondered if any of you gents have been through a similar transition, or
felt anything similar?


Regards


Phil

 

[lizardking82]

Absolutely, Phil. Been there, done that. It is not easy as you're going from a very comfortable, "I have sex everyday" position to a point where you have to be hunting. Those bones and muscles of yours are kinda rusty right now and the pain when you start to move them it's too much, but I think it is for the good. If you don't feel like dating anyone, do not do that for a while. Do not force it on yourself as there is absolutely no reason to do that whatsoever. Maybe focusing on yourself will be the best thing you can do. Keep strong, mate

 

[AlphaNate]

Yes, absolutely. Most guys around here call it "swallowing the red pill."

I'm not a big fan of this, because it implies there's no going back. You can fall back into being a beta ****ing p*ussy like you described at the beginning of your post. Don't pretend you can't.

Hold your frame.

 

[phil2015]

Strange thing with this girl, she would use everything to pretty much put me down.
Even the things that initially attracted her.....

For example, she was initially attracted to my masculinity and strength,

She later said that I was too distant, unfeeling and controlling


The thing is, I was aware that during the relationship I didn't change as a person

 

[lizardking82]

Strange thing with this girl, she would use everything to pretty much put me down.
Even the things that initially attracted her.....

For example, she was initially attracted to my masculinity and strength,

She later said that I was too distant, unfeeling and controlling


The thing is, I was aware that during the relationship I didn't change as a person

Well, if you did not change, then it's her problem that she cannot resist the idea of having a real man in her life. A lot of girls want a chump they can play around with, man, not a real dude.

 

[wifehunter]

If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is weak.

 

[phil2015]

@lizardking82

Yup. From our posts it appears we've both dated a similar type of woman

Don't know about you, I'm carrying a lot of bad feelings around and I'm feeling as though the blame for everything was pushed onto me.

 

[kronreiff]

Phil, you need to read the DJ bible and get a bit more experience with women. You should have seen the warning signs with these NPD/Narc women since they all operate basically the same. Some are a bit crazier than others, but all crazy nonetheless. Obviously you have no experience with these soul stealers, which is why you begged, called and freaked out, thus taking 10 years off your life while in a pathetic beta *ss kissing mode. Now that you're starting to see some light at what happened to you due to her toxic behavior, learn from it. NEVER get emotionally attached or even have remote feelings for a Narc/BPD chick. Pump and dump is what you should have done. So, the next time you see the "signs", RUN and never look back. Good luck re scrambling your eggs and getting on with your life.

 

[phil2015]

Can I ask where the DJ Bible is?

 

[kronreiff]

Here's the link to the DJ bible, have a look and read it.

http://www.djbible.classicalgasemissions.com/