Kenturkey
Don Juan
For anyone interested, here's my mame machine.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Emergency Advice Needed
- Thread starter Kenturkey
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Lost In Translation
Master Don Juan
sounds like you are in love with this chick lol ?
kill that oneitis
i agree with what ( . )( . ) about church girls being the same as normal girls
there are two types of church girls the good girls and the bad girls
the thread starter said his chick is a self confessed X BAD GIRL
once a *........ always a *.........
for the record i used to go to church and i have seen both types of church girls break all the rules and fall for guys who PLAY THE GAME RIGHT
women are women are women
remember that
alright my 2 cents to the thread starter :
why you telling other dudes at church you like some chick ?
you keep your pimpin' on the low low
and i tell you i have had a guy at church tell me he liked a chick and went on crazy AFC about how much he loves her
MADE ME SICK
so you know what i did
i asked the chick out that same day LOL
all is fair in love and war
stop telling people your plans for war !!!
you need to get your head right
the chick told you she was a BAD GIRL
what does that mean ?
she has been around the block and mad crazy AFC crap won't work
play it cool
this is a case for the Don Juan in you
especially now you introduced the competiton by placing value on her
Lost In Translation
**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
kill that oneitis
i agree with what ( . )( . ) about church girls being the same as normal girls
there are two types of church girls the good girls and the bad girls
the thread starter said his chick is a self confessed X BAD GIRL
once a *........ always a *.........
for the record i used to go to church and i have seen both types of church girls break all the rules and fall for guys who PLAY THE GAME RIGHT
women are women are women
remember that
alright my 2 cents to the thread starter :
why you telling other dudes at church you like some chick ?
you keep your pimpin' on the low low
and i tell you i have had a guy at church tell me he liked a chick and went on crazy AFC about how much he loves her
MADE ME SICK
so you know what i did
i asked the chick out that same day LOL
all is fair in love and war
stop telling people your plans for war !!!
you need to get your head right
the chick told you she was a BAD GIRL
what does that mean ?
she has been around the block and mad crazy AFC crap won't work
play it cool
this is a case for the Don Juan in you
especially now you introduced the competiton by placing value on her
Lost In Translation
**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
Kenturkey
Don Juan
oneitis
Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm talking to other girls. I also have a couple booty call girl friends. It's just that I've met a girl that I actually LIKE. Being 33 I'm starting to think that I need to stop playing so much and think about settling down. So I've met a girl who has a lot going for her, and I'd kinda like to pursue her in that direction.
Chris
Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm talking to other girls. I also have a couple booty call girl friends. It's just that I've met a girl that I actually LIKE. Being 33 I'm starting to think that I need to stop playing so much and think about settling down. So I've met a girl who has a lot going for her, and I'd kinda like to pursue her in that direction.
Chris
Lost In Translation
Master Don Juan
sounds good
stop alerting other males that your chick is the bomb
how old is she ?
i am 26 and i used to play burger time on commodore 64
Lost In Translation
**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
stop alerting other males that your chick is the bomb
how old is she ?
i am 26 and i used to play burger time on commodore 64
Lost In Translation
**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
Kenturkey
Don Juan
She's 25. And you're right. I'll never announce my intentions to anyone ever again... That's for sure.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Hey Chris,
I've got to tell you man, keep doing what you're doing. The other posters are right, don't call all the time and keep your own social life going strong, and you're doing just that, or at least making it seem like that to her.
I'm seeing a girl a few hours away from me right now. We talk every couple of nights, but I always keep it fresh. When you run out of something to say, just say "So tell me some good news."
About the blog thing, don't post a reply. Girls do blogs. Guys do girls.
-Rip
I've got to tell you man, keep doing what you're doing. The other posters are right, don't call all the time and keep your own social life going strong, and you're doing just that, or at least making it seem like that to her.
I'm seeing a girl a few hours away from me right now. We talk every couple of nights, but I always keep it fresh. When you run out of something to say, just say "So tell me some good news."
About the blog thing, don't post a reply. Girls do blogs. Guys do girls.
-Rip
iqqi
Master Don Juan
post in the damn blog! she gave you the link for gosh sakes, it will make her smile and have giddy feelings for you. don't do it every single day, just one reply to let her know you thought of her.
goodness.
goodness.
I really don't think posting in a blog will make her want you more.
I've got nothing wrong with girls that blog, but relationships occur in reality, not online.
Posting in a blog just to make her happy is just so passive aggressive.
Back to your main reason for posting: you're doing good by not putting the pressure on her. You're not smothering her and you're not bugging her.
And you know that if she's really interested, she won't mind not talking to you for four days at a time; she'll even miss you more for it.
I've got nothing wrong with girls that blog, but relationships occur in reality, not online.
Posting in a blog just to make her happy is just so passive aggressive.
Back to your main reason for posting: you're doing good by not putting the pressure on her. You're not smothering her and you're not bugging her.
And you know that if she's really interested, she won't mind not talking to you for four days at a time; she'll even miss you more for it.
Kenturkey
Don Juan
ok..
Okay, so here's what I did. Her blog entry for tuesday had her in a "strange mood", she'd been "antsy" and "checking her email all day". She was also wondering what something was called. So, based on her blog entry, i wrote her a quick email describing the thing she was wondering about as tho it were a drug company ad. (Remember she's in pharmacy school) I didn't say anything about missing her, or anything. I just responded to what she wrote in her blog--nothing directly personal. To which I got this reply :
Chris
Okay, so here's what I did. Her blog entry for tuesday had her in a "strange mood", she'd been "antsy" and "checking her email all day". She was also wondering what something was called. So, based on her blog entry, i wrote her a quick email describing the thing she was wondering about as tho it were a drug company ad. (Remember she's in pharmacy school) I didn't say anything about missing her, or anything. I just responded to what she wrote in her blog--nothing directly personal. To which I got this reply :
I don't know about you, boys and girls, but I'm taking that as a hit. :woo: And don't ask about the "obsessive tongue checking" that was part of my email. ;-)
Chris
Kenturkey
Don Juan
chat
Well, I had a chat today with my friend Becki. She also knows this chick from church I've been interested in. So here's an excerpt from our chat. See if you guys and gals think she's on the right track with her advice :
Chris
Well, I had a chat today with my friend Becki. She also knows this chick from church I've been interested in. So here's an excerpt from our chat. See if you guys and gals think she's on the right track with her advice :
Shawn is the guy from church who jumped my claim and asked her out before i got a chance to.
Chris
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
It all comes down to the fact that (if you're being honest with yourself) you don't want to be her friend.
You don't want to just be a friend. You want to be that hot guy that she is chasing after.
And she? Women are happiest in a relationship or in courting when they feel like they're the one pursuing.
How do you get her to pursue?
Be a man. Embrace your sexuality and that which makes you a man. Am I getting too out there for you?
You don't need another friend, you already have enough. Does she need another friend? No, she has enough female friends and weak guys that pretend to be her friend just because they think that it will get them in her pants.
So no, Chris, don't become her friend thinking it will get you the girl.
You don't want to just be a friend. You want to be that hot guy that she is chasing after.
And she? Women are happiest in a relationship or in courting when they feel like they're the one pursuing.
How do you get her to pursue?
Be a man. Embrace your sexuality and that which makes you a man. Am I getting too out there for you?
You don't need another friend, you already have enough. Does she need another friend? No, she has enough female friends and weak guys that pretend to be her friend just because they think that it will get them in her pants.
So no, Chris, don't become her friend thinking it will get you the girl.
Kenturkey
Don Juan
Update
So for the past two weeks, I've called her on sunday. Wednesday of this week i sent her that funny email that I wrote. I "neglected" to call her his sunday. Just to see what happens... So yesterday (monday) close to the end of the day, I get this email :
So, I call her last night about 10pm. We ended up talking about an hour. At the end of the conversation I told her I had a picture I wanted to send her. She got all giddy. I said, it's not a picture of me, but the machine playing burgertime. She demanded a picture of me. So we exchanged pics last night. It was good.
End of update for now!
Chris
So for the past two weeks, I've called her on sunday. Wednesday of this week i sent her that funny email that I wrote. I "neglected" to call her his sunday. Just to see what happens... So yesterday (monday) close to the end of the day, I get this email :
So, she not only remembered who my driver was, but ALSO where he placed. This girl said she's never had any interest in NASCAR in her life. I'm feeling pretty good about this one....I saw where your boy came in 2nd (or runner up or whatever it's called in NASCAR)
congrats by the way, hope you got to gloat just a bit
Anyways, just wanted to say hi and Happy Monday...
B ;-)
So, I call her last night about 10pm. We ended up talking about an hour. At the end of the conversation I told her I had a picture I wanted to send her. She got all giddy. I said, it's not a picture of me, but the machine playing burgertime. She demanded a picture of me. So we exchanged pics last night. It was good.
End of update for now!
Chris
Kenturkey
Don Juan
Update
Being in the zone is a good good thing.
Okay, so Wednesday she called me on her own for the first time. I didn't hear the phone ring, since i keep it on vibrate. But I did see where she called later, and left a voicemail. Nothing interesting just "hey chris, I'll be up for a while, so call me if you want". I wanted. I didn't call tho. Sent her an email the next day. "Sorry I missed ya, but I didn't think you'd want me calling you at 12:45AM." I didn't leave any explanation of WHY i couldn't call her before then, just left it to her imagination.
So I called her last night--about 10:30PM. We proceeded to talk until 2:30AM. I'm sure there are those who'll say that's a no-no. But, this wasn't. She blabbered on about how she had liked me from the night we had dinner after church. But she didn't think I was interested in her. And how surprising my email to her was, and blah blah... She apparently talked to some people at church about me before I asked her for her number. A high interest level is a good thing to experience.
Thankfully this month in D.C. is almost over for her. I'm looking forward to getting to go on a REAL date with her instead of these lame "phone dates". ;-)
Oh, and the whole "shawn incident" was apparently a non-incident. I let her bring up the concept of guys asking girls out, so I steered it in his direction. She confirmed that he did indeed come to her work and asked her out. But she said she "just kinda blew him off".
Anyway, sorry so long. If you've made it this far I'm proud of ya.
As you were.
Chris
Being in the zone is a good good thing.
Okay, so Wednesday she called me on her own for the first time. I didn't hear the phone ring, since i keep it on vibrate. But I did see where she called later, and left a voicemail. Nothing interesting just "hey chris, I'll be up for a while, so call me if you want". I wanted. I didn't call tho. Sent her an email the next day. "Sorry I missed ya, but I didn't think you'd want me calling you at 12:45AM." I didn't leave any explanation of WHY i couldn't call her before then, just left it to her imagination.
So I called her last night--about 10:30PM. We proceeded to talk until 2:30AM. I'm sure there are those who'll say that's a no-no. But, this wasn't. She blabbered on about how she had liked me from the night we had dinner after church. But she didn't think I was interested in her. And how surprising my email to her was, and blah blah... She apparently talked to some people at church about me before I asked her for her number. A high interest level is a good thing to experience.
Thankfully this month in D.C. is almost over for her. I'm looking forward to getting to go on a REAL date with her instead of these lame "phone dates". ;-)
Oh, and the whole "shawn incident" was apparently a non-incident. I let her bring up the concept of guys asking girls out, so I steered it in his direction. She confirmed that he did indeed come to her work and asked her out. But she said she "just kinda blew him off".
Anyway, sorry so long. If you've made it this far I'm proud of ya.
As you were.
Chris
Kenturkey
Don Juan
iqqi
Oh, and iqqi, I *DID* post in her blog the other day. Just once. You're right. I did make her giddy. ;-)
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Kenturkey
Don Juan
Wow.
Well, boys and girls. Tonight's the big night.
She comes back from D.C. tonight, and I've arranged to pick her up at the airport. Unfortunately, her flight doesn't get in until 10:30pm tonight. Yeah, this isn't exactly the IDEAL first date condition, but in this case it's working. Her interest level is so far thru the roof that I really don't think I *CAN* screw up this date. ;-)
It's kind of a long story how this "date" came about. I'll summarize. She told me she was coming back this weekend, so my plan was to hook up with her on saturday night, but I hadn't made any plans with her yet. My aunt calls me on tuesday and offers me tickets to the nascar race in talladega this weekend, so naturally I accepted, and told new girl about said plans. She was happy for me, but I detected a hint of disappointment because I knew she was excited about us getting together this weekend. So, I offered to pick her up at the airport so we could at least see each other SOME time this weekend.
Well, as things that are too good to be true usually go, the talladega trip fell thru. But, we're still gonna go thru with our plans for the airport tonight.
The next thing is... I don't know what to do when I see her at the airport. I don't know if i should hug her, kiss her, or what. I've got a little anxiety right now about the whole thing. Ah well, I'll just do what feels right at the time I guess.
Wish me luck tonight everyone. I'll post later on the events.
Chris
Well, boys and girls. Tonight's the big night.
She comes back from D.C. tonight, and I've arranged to pick her up at the airport. Unfortunately, her flight doesn't get in until 10:30pm tonight. Yeah, this isn't exactly the IDEAL first date condition, but in this case it's working. Her interest level is so far thru the roof that I really don't think I *CAN* screw up this date. ;-)
It's kind of a long story how this "date" came about. I'll summarize. She told me she was coming back this weekend, so my plan was to hook up with her on saturday night, but I hadn't made any plans with her yet. My aunt calls me on tuesday and offers me tickets to the nascar race in talladega this weekend, so naturally I accepted, and told new girl about said plans. She was happy for me, but I detected a hint of disappointment because I knew she was excited about us getting together this weekend. So, I offered to pick her up at the airport so we could at least see each other SOME time this weekend.
Well, as things that are too good to be true usually go, the talladega trip fell thru. But, we're still gonna go thru with our plans for the airport tonight.
The next thing is... I don't know what to do when I see her at the airport. I don't know if i should hug her, kiss her, or what.
I've got a little anxiety right now about the whole thing. Ah well, I'll just do what feels right at the time I guess. Wish me luck tonight everyone. I'll post later on the events.
Chris
Kenturkey
Don Juan
Final Update
Okay, this is the final update to this thread.
Things went GREAT friday night. I picked her up at the airport, surprisingly, her plane got there EARLY. That was a nice surprise, helped cut down on the anxiety. The irony of the situation was that, here's this 100 pound girl with 200 pounds of luggage. Literally. Sheesh.
Well, we packed it all into my car, and went to Applebee's for appetizers, and did a bit of talking. Left there and went to my house. Showed her around, wowed her with all my cool guy stuff. Her favorite was my fish tank. (75 gallon Malawi Cichlid tank with about 100 fish in it) We sat on the couch, kissed, made out, I went for the goods... D*mn. She stopped me. Grr. She's playing good girl. That's cool. I kept pushing boundaries. Kept getting in trouble.
We stayed up until 6:30AM talking, making out, etc. Crashed. I took her home at 2PM saturday. Stayed with her until 5PM, left, came home, crashed.
Sunday we went for lunch, ended up back at my place. Within minutes of getting to my house, I had her on my couch, straddling me in her dress with my hands up it. Still wouldn't let me play with her toys. Rats. Getting closer tho. :-D
So anyway, left my place and we hung out with my friends the rest of the afternoon. Left them at 8, hung out with her friends until 10, then I came home.
Didn't call her yesterday, she sent me a "benign" email about 10pm. (A link to a website we'd been talking about) I think she was fishing for me to call her. ;-) I'll probably catch up with her tonight.
So anyway it seems like everything is going in a fantastic direction right now. Thanks for all the advice, and moral support, everyone!
Chris
OH - I don't remember if I posted that she told me she was bringing me a gift back from DC with her. Well, it ended up being a Hard Rock Cafe T-Shirt. I thought that was pretty sweet. Never had a girl bring me a gift on the first date.
Thanks all.
Okay, this is the final update to this thread.
Things went GREAT friday night. I picked her up at the airport, surprisingly, her plane got there EARLY. That was a nice surprise, helped cut down on the anxiety.
The irony of the situation was that, here's this 100 pound girl with 200 pounds of luggage. Literally. Sheesh.Well, we packed it all into my car, and went to Applebee's for appetizers, and did a bit of talking. Left there and went to my house. Showed her around, wowed her with all my cool guy stuff. Her favorite was my fish tank. (75 gallon Malawi Cichlid tank with about 100 fish in it) We sat on the couch, kissed, made out, I went for the goods... D*mn. She stopped me. Grr. She's playing good girl. That's cool. I kept pushing boundaries. Kept getting in trouble.
We stayed up until 6:30AM talking, making out, etc. Crashed. I took her home at 2PM saturday. Stayed with her until 5PM, left, came home, crashed.
Sunday we went for lunch, ended up back at my place. Within minutes of getting to my house, I had her on my couch, straddling me in her dress with my hands up it. Still wouldn't let me play with her toys. Rats. Getting closer tho. :-D
So anyway, left my place and we hung out with my friends the rest of the afternoon. Left them at 8, hung out with her friends until 10, then I came home.
Didn't call her yesterday, she sent me a "benign" email about 10pm. (A link to a website we'd been talking about) I think she was fishing for me to call her. ;-) I'll probably catch up with her tonight.
So anyway it seems like everything is going in a fantastic direction right now. Thanks for all the advice, and moral support, everyone!
Chris
OH - I don't remember if I posted that she told me she was bringing me a gift back from DC with her. Well, it ended up being a Hard Rock Cafe T-Shirt. I thought that was pretty sweet. Never had a girl bring me a gift on the first date.
Thanks all.