"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Emailing

PS79

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In the dating game and not online dating, how does e-mail come into play? You have both her number and e-mail address...

What do you talk about? How often should you e-mail? How quickly do you respond to one of her e-mails?

Sounds like stupid questions but it would clarify a lot for me and probably others...
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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MotownMack

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To me, its just a way to keep in contact so you're still "in the picture", but really nothing more than that. In other words, I am too busy with other girls or not interested enough to call. I would suspect some women view this exactly the same way.

The thing you need to remember is that if moving things forward is your goal, this isn't really going to advance anything, and you shouldn't stay here. A military analogy would suit this well: It's more of way to "hold the line" until you are ready to make an assault. But know that you're not going to win the battle by not making an offensive charge at some point. It basically just buys you a little time.
 

Mavrick

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With emails you reply when you want to reply. You don't reply instantly if you don't want to. The key is not to be too available. Also, don't say a whole lot or do it too often. Cut over to a phone conversation as soon as possible.
 

SickAgain

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Whenever you feel like it. But you can find yourself in the friendzone quickly if you e-mail too much and say too much through e-mails. I'd do my best just to keep it light exchanging jokes and avoid getting into deeper stuff like politics and social mores.
 
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I agree with the others that keeping email light, and don't spam with emails.. don't get nervous if you don't get a quick response.

It is SO EASY to make yourself look bad in emails..SO EASY.. I once knew a girl online, and even though she was married, I really liked talking with her..she was great and I could relate on a lot of what she said.. However my little crush became obsessive and I constantly sent emails and got very defensive if I wasn't sent an email back.

After a while she got nervous and that was it.. I was intruding to far from the friend zone. There is a lot more to that story, but It was one of the most difficult things I went through in life, and I ended up hurting a lot of people online and offline..

Yeah.. keep emails limited..as for me I can't do one on one emails with anyone(on the internet)..I tried it, but I fall to close with online friends, and we can't meet.. I can't handle that, so I am very strict with myself when I do email with someone online.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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