Email Message to Trainer ....

[mr-moxie]

OK I underwent a training course today with, surprise, surprise a girl I have seen about the building several times before and got IOI's off.

Anyway, I want to fire her an email message asking her for a Coffee, would be greatful if you guys QA ..

===== START OF MESSAGE
<Her Name>,

Just a quick email ... you trained me and several others in <System Name> yesterday ...

I have seen you about the building a few times and there is something about you that intrigues me, anyway I was just wondering if you are free to get a coffee some time?

Nath
===== END OF MESSAGE

Very difficult tow write without displaying low value but this is as best as I can do .... CONSTRUCTIVE advice please ....

Also, If we meet she is bound to ask what intriugues me any C&F answers greatfully recieved!

Moxie

 

[Docs]

...man, just do it in person. That email sounded lame BTW.

 

[mr-moxie]

Thats the problem ... I never see her ... but when we do see one another (once every two months max) we always notice each other ....

 

[Docs]

So, when you 'notice' each other....go ask her? It doesn't have to be this instant...take it easy for a second.

 

[mr-moxie]

Two months is a long time in this game! ... I aint desperate but I want to get things initiated ....

 

[Docs]

Ohh, I know. You could always....go see her tomorrow...if you don't want to wait..there's that too?

 

[Latinoman]

Let's just imagine she is 300 lbs and butt ugly. And asume she did EXACTLY the same "IOI" you think she did. Now...do you truly believe you would view them as "IOI"?

When a pretty woman smiles at us...we assume she is "interested".
When a FAT ugly one smiles at us...we assume she is just "nice person".


AVOID the email at all cost for situations that involve dates when dealing with people in a business situation.

An email is more than evidence to illustrate that you "were stalking" her. Sure, you are NOT stalking her. We know that. But let's assume she is one of those crazy AW type. In a social venue...who cares? But at work? Hmmmm...care a LOT!

 

[mr-moxie]

Oh right, I get it your one of those keyboard jokeys!

 

[Latinoman]

Talk to her in person. If you happen to see her in 2 months...then so be it.

And by the way, how did you get her email address?

 

[mr-moxie]

She emailed me training docs on the office system ....

 

[Latinoman]

Oh right, I get it your one of those keyboard jokeys!

I have NEVER asked a woman out via email.

And I have worked in the business environment long enough as to listen to some women talk about the "creepy guy that emailed" her. In fact, I have been shown similar emails by female co-workers.

Avoid that kind of stuff.

It is better to see the person face to face.

Or to talk with her via telephone.

Another thing...if you had "game", you wouldn't be asking us how to approach her.

 

[Latinoman]

She emailed me training docs on the office system ....

She emailed YOU or she emailed EVERYBODY?

And if she emailed training documents...doesn't that mean that you are going to take some kind of training with her? Then TALK with her when you see her in the training!

 

[mr-moxie]

Wow this board is full of *****ing and negitivity compaired to the LSS.

Anyway, I dont have game hence why I am on this board ...

 

[Latinoman]

Now, there are ways to get a person to "open up" a little via the email. But you have to be smooth.

Considering that she initiated the email (due to business), you can always send a reply and hope she replies back and hopefully get a back and forth kind of thing.

 

[squirrels]

"Anyway"? Jumping off the subject indicates that you're uncomfortable with being attracted to her. She will pick up this vibe and it will set of her creep-out detector.

"Are you free sometime?" Who ISN'T free sometime?? Stop trying to ask the question and ASK it.

Try:

"Interesting class yesterday. I really learned a lot. <optional witty comment>

Hey, I'm planning on grabbing a coffee at <insert trendy coffee-bar name here> at lunch. [ Wanna meet me there? | You should meet me there if you're not busy. ] "

That way it's not like you're throwing yourself on her mercy. No "I'm going to pay you an idle complement to try to win your favor...now I'm going to throw myself on your mercy and hope you pity me enough to spend time with me." Instead it's, "We have something in common...I want you to spend some time with me."

Straight for the guns, man. You're already breaking "the rules", both yours and hers, by asking out someone you work with. May as well just charge in.

From Robert Greene's 48 Laws of Power:
If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous: Better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.

 

[Latinoman]

Wow this board is full of *****ing and negitivity compaired to the LSS.

Anyway, I dont have game hence why I am on this board ...

Dude...quit whining and tell us more about her.

We know she emailed the class some training documents.
We know you have seen her in the halway a few times and that she has smiled at you.

But that's all we know.

We don't know if you have talked with her (in person).
We don't know if she is going to give you more training.

All we know is that you want to send and email to a training instructor (which is paid to be nice) and ask her out. Now...it might work IF she is truly interested in you. But if she is NOT...then it will back fire.

However, there are ways to create some rapport by replying to her email (hopefully you didn't already replied with a "thank you" YET).

 

[Latinoman]

"Anyway"? Jumping off the subject indicates that you're uncomfortable with being attracted to her. She will pick up this vibe and it will set of her creep-out detector.

"Are you free sometime?" Who ISN'T free sometime?? Stop trying to ask the question and ASK it.

Try:

"Interesting class yesterday. I really learned a lot. <optional witty comment>

Hey, I'm planning on grabbing a coffee at <insert trendy coffee-bar name here> at lunch. [ Wanna meet me there? | You should meet me there if you're not busy. ] "

That way it's not like you're throwing yourself on her mercy. No "I'm going to pay you an idle complement to try to win your favor...now I'm going to throw myself on your mercy and hope you pity me enough to spend time with me." Instead it's, "We have something in common...I want you to spend some time with me."

Not a bad idea.

But I would leave the "coffee" thing out in the first reply and wait to see how she reacts to the remark about the class.

Heck, I would say something short about how interesting was the class. I might even mention something about seeing her before in the building. And maybe add something else. No more than 3-4 lines total.

And wait for a reply...and then based on that reply I would probably judge if she TRULY has an interest in me.

 

[mr-moxie]

Esh! Enough with the negitivity !

There where nine of us in the class. It was an organisational training course and she works in the training section. It was only for the morning and she wond be training me again.

She is Asian, 5ft 5, curvey, very professional.

I talked to he before the class and asked her what she was training us in and what it was, as soon as the class started she asked if anyone know what the system was and I gave a little smile and she immiediatly said "and you can keep quiet" in a flirty way.

I have seen her around the building one time getting out of the lifts and a second when I was getting coffee, she locked eye contact in both occassions. I know when a girl is giving IOI's.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You know her name, why not look her up in the office directory and call her?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

OK 2 things here, first, there is no substitute for a real approach and talking to a woman face to face. This directly implies confidence. Email, IM, Texting, long ass phone calls, are all buffers for rejection and you will never learn a goddam thing unless you are rejected and often. You will never read body language, subcommunications, vocal intonations, facial expression and a whole host of other subconscious interpersonal indicators if you communicate 'safely' behind your monitor or cell phone. Sack up and don't "half-way" ask a woman out. By going the safe route you automatically give her an easy OUT.

2nd, WTF is it with all of the coffee date crap? Again this is a 'safety' date, no alcohol, no intensity. God forbid a woman actually think you might want to bang her when you ask her out. No coffee dates - action dates, default toward action.