This'll probably turn into a 5 paged topic, with haters flaming me and a bunch of stuff, but I don't care. I go out, if you do great, if you don't and rip on people who do, you are pathetic and should burn in hell. On to better things, yeah, I'm just mostly gonna write and give a few tips on what I've seen has worked in field for me. May not work for you, but whatever, try before you rip someone's advice. This is mostly for day game, so if you're a night game guy, it's probably not best that you take some of this advice.
Approaching
Approaching. It's what you call it when you see a cute girl and you go up and talk to her. But a lot of guys are afraid to do it, I was myself at once. But I can't really give any other advice, than just do it man. Just approach. It doesn't matter if she tells you to f*ck off first second you get there, it doesn't matter if she walks away, just approach. You need an opener? "Hey". So if you're beggining just go up to girls and say "Hey" maybe even "How's it going?" then eject with "Well it was nice talking to you, bye". But yeah, I can't really give any greater advice about the subject of approaching, but just do it. Despite your fear of getting rejected, just go up there. If you don't go up there and just spend all your time thinking about approaching her, she's gonna leave eventually.
Subcommunication
More than words or looks, I think this is a big factor of whether girls will be into you or not. If you're lying, she can tell. If you're nervous, she can tell. But first off let me give my definition of subcommunication. I think subcommunication is basically how confident you are in a set. For instance, a guy who's not confident, will be shaking, nervous, probably won't have great eye contact and won't really speak loudly, nor really have good body language. This to me is bad subcommunication. Now a guy who's confident, is pretty calm, isn't really nervous and speaks clear and conscise. This to me is good subcommunication.
Some other things that can cause bad subcommunication are, if she can sense that you're worried about the outcome, if she can sense if you're afraid of getting rejected and if she can sense that you're not being truthful with her. However, even if you're going up to her, all high energy and being the dancing monkey, that's bad subcommunication because she can see that you're trying to entertain her.
"Good" subcommunication, is the reason I can go up to girls, say "Hey, how's your major?" and get into a good convo with her. It's not what I'm saying that makes them interested in me, but it's the fact that I have good subcommunication. Heck, with good subcommunication you can go up there singing "Mary had a little lamb!" and freaking keep her interested, although that's not my style.
So how can I make my subcommunication better?
Well I think there are a number of things that you can do to make your subcommunication better. One thing is to approach so much, that you eventually become so used to it, that you're not nervous. The girls will start seeing that you're not nervous and your subcommunication will improve. Another thing that can help your subcommunication is don't go into sets all high energy. It may not be like this for everyone, but most of the time you go up to a girl high energy, she'll think you're trying to entertain her. However, I've learned that going in there low energy subcommunicates better things, because overall, girls like a guy who can be calm and collected around them. And overall, I think going in there low energy subcommunicates that you're not intimidated by women, it subcommunicates that you're not nervous and overall subcommunicates indifference sort of, because a lot of guys can't be calm around beautiful women.
So how can you become more calm in your approaches? Easy. Just try being calm. Literally calm yourself down. Start practicing breathing slower and more calmly. Try practicing being calm, in not so calm situations. Start speaking slower and more calmly too. If you're a person who talks fast, that's bad because it doesn't subcommunicate that your calm and confident. But yeah, once you've practiced being calm, try approaching women being calm and eventually, you'll just become genuinely calm around women. Remember though, calm doesn't mean you have to be all serious nor does low energy mean you have to be all serious, have fun and smile.
Stop caring about rejection
Another thing that can help make your subcommunication better, is to genuinely stop caring about rejection. How do you stop caring about rejection? Well you approach a lot and overall learn to move on in your mind if one particular girl doesn't like you. I know I use to get rejected by girls and then I would start thinking about it and analyzing it in my mind, even get p*ssed because the girl rejected. However, this wasn't good, because I was being reactive to the girls and being reactive is never good. So however you want to do it, just stop caring about if a girl rejects you. If a girl rejects you, don't even give the rejection another thought, move on in your mind.
The way I stopped caring about rejection was, when a girl rejected me and I started thinking about it, I would try to think about something else, other than the rejection. If the thought of the rejection came back, I would try to do my best to stop thinking about it. After a couple weeks of going in with that mindset about rejection, I just stopped caring about rejection. Now, if a girl rejects me, I can just walk away and don't give the rejection another thought. So yeah, if you stop caring about rejection, it will help your subcommunication.
Don't worry about what you say.
When you go up to girls and talk to them, stop worrying about what to say. If you get to a point in the convo and you feel that it's dying, SAY ANYTHING. The reason saying anything works is because it's not actually the words you say, that attract a woman. Another word for just saying anything to move the convo along is called plowing. When you plow, it doesn't matter what you say and it does not have to make logical sense. Game is not logical. Now the say anything thing isn't MY style in particular, cause I just go up there and have convos, but yeah.
Talk LOUD, but calmly.
This is another thing I've noticed that has improved my sets. Talking LOUD, but talking calmly at the same time. So how do you talk calmly though? Well, just talk slower and not as fast. Another thing I've noticed is not saying everything at once does wonders. You can say "Well I was at the bar the other day and there was this big fight" which is cool, but inserting pauses in there like "Well... I was at the bar, the other day, and there was... this big fight". Pausing works because it keeps her interested and even adds a bit of suspense. It's like when you say it all at once, there's no suspense.
It's kind of like on those game shows, where they to eliminate people. If they just said "The loser is Michael" there's no suspense in that. But if they say "The loser is...[wait a couple of seconds] Michea!" then there's suspense. Talking loudly is pretty self explanatory, talk to her in a louder voice. Talking loudly shows that you have confidence in what you're saying. Talking calmly also shows that you have confidence in what you're saying.
Be real.
This is one of the toughest ones, but overall being real with a girl will improve your subcommunication a lot. Take genuine interest in what she says and don't just be worried the whole conversation, about if you're going to get a certain outcome or not. But yeah, be real with her. Talk to her about stuff that matters to you. Be yourself around her. Now I know what you're thinking "Be yourself is horrible advice". Well I have to disagree because I feel that when a guy is an AFC he can't really be himself, because he doesn't know how to present his personality to others. But yeah, if you're pissed, act pissed around the girl. If you're happy, be happy around the girl.
See the thing is there shouldn't be a pickup you and who you really are. Who you really are should be who you are in pickup. And overall the genuine thing doesn't just apply to getting girls, but it overall applies to life and having conversations with people overall. When you go up to a girl and talk to her, don't be fake. Don't go up there and tell her a bunch of lies. I gaurantee you that if you just told her what was REALLY on your mind, you'd get far more interest than you would telling lies.
This is also means, if you think a girl's hot, tell her. Don't try to hide that fact when you're talking to her. You lose her? Oh well, there are millions of other girls to talk to. This also means though, that if you think a girl is being straight rude or just being a b*tch and you WANT to call her out on it, call her out on it. But yeah... when you go up there, be real. Genuinely listen to her and genuinely take interest in what she says, IF she says something that genuinely interest you.
Body Language
You've probably heard these things a million times, but they will help your subcommunication improve. A lot of times when newer guys go up to girls they have bad body language. They're freaking shaking, afraid of eye contact and all that stuff. Now for the shaking thing, I'd say the same thing I said before, try and go up to girls being calm. Once you've genuinely become a calm person, the shaking will stop. Eye contact is a very big thing too, it shows her that you're genuinely interested in talking to her and overall, that you're not afraid of eye contact, like a lot of people are. Smiling helps a lot too, because if you smile, a lot of girls will just be more willing to talk to you. I also think smiling helps, because it emits positivity, which is always good.
Approaching
Approaching. It's what you call it when you see a cute girl and you go up and talk to her. But a lot of guys are afraid to do it, I was myself at once. But I can't really give any other advice, than just do it man. Just approach. It doesn't matter if she tells you to f*ck off first second you get there, it doesn't matter if she walks away, just approach. You need an opener? "Hey". So if you're beggining just go up to girls and say "Hey" maybe even "How's it going?" then eject with "Well it was nice talking to you, bye". But yeah, I can't really give any greater advice about the subject of approaching, but just do it. Despite your fear of getting rejected, just go up there. If you don't go up there and just spend all your time thinking about approaching her, she's gonna leave eventually.
Subcommunication
More than words or looks, I think this is a big factor of whether girls will be into you or not. If you're lying, she can tell. If you're nervous, she can tell. But first off let me give my definition of subcommunication. I think subcommunication is basically how confident you are in a set. For instance, a guy who's not confident, will be shaking, nervous, probably won't have great eye contact and won't really speak loudly, nor really have good body language. This to me is bad subcommunication. Now a guy who's confident, is pretty calm, isn't really nervous and speaks clear and conscise. This to me is good subcommunication.
Some other things that can cause bad subcommunication are, if she can sense that you're worried about the outcome, if she can sense if you're afraid of getting rejected and if she can sense that you're not being truthful with her. However, even if you're going up to her, all high energy and being the dancing monkey, that's bad subcommunication because she can see that you're trying to entertain her.
"Good" subcommunication, is the reason I can go up to girls, say "Hey, how's your major?" and get into a good convo with her. It's not what I'm saying that makes them interested in me, but it's the fact that I have good subcommunication. Heck, with good subcommunication you can go up there singing "Mary had a little lamb!" and freaking keep her interested, although that's not my style.
So how can I make my subcommunication better?
Well I think there are a number of things that you can do to make your subcommunication better. One thing is to approach so much, that you eventually become so used to it, that you're not nervous. The girls will start seeing that you're not nervous and your subcommunication will improve. Another thing that can help your subcommunication is don't go into sets all high energy. It may not be like this for everyone, but most of the time you go up to a girl high energy, she'll think you're trying to entertain her. However, I've learned that going in there low energy subcommunicates better things, because overall, girls like a guy who can be calm and collected around them. And overall, I think going in there low energy subcommunicates that you're not intimidated by women, it subcommunicates that you're not nervous and overall subcommunicates indifference sort of, because a lot of guys can't be calm around beautiful women.
So how can you become more calm in your approaches? Easy. Just try being calm. Literally calm yourself down. Start practicing breathing slower and more calmly. Try practicing being calm, in not so calm situations. Start speaking slower and more calmly too. If you're a person who talks fast, that's bad because it doesn't subcommunicate that your calm and confident. But yeah, once you've practiced being calm, try approaching women being calm and eventually, you'll just become genuinely calm around women. Remember though, calm doesn't mean you have to be all serious nor does low energy mean you have to be all serious, have fun and smile.
Stop caring about rejection
Another thing that can help make your subcommunication better, is to genuinely stop caring about rejection. How do you stop caring about rejection? Well you approach a lot and overall learn to move on in your mind if one particular girl doesn't like you. I know I use to get rejected by girls and then I would start thinking about it and analyzing it in my mind, even get p*ssed because the girl rejected. However, this wasn't good, because I was being reactive to the girls and being reactive is never good. So however you want to do it, just stop caring about if a girl rejects you. If a girl rejects you, don't even give the rejection another thought, move on in your mind.
The way I stopped caring about rejection was, when a girl rejected me and I started thinking about it, I would try to think about something else, other than the rejection. If the thought of the rejection came back, I would try to do my best to stop thinking about it. After a couple weeks of going in with that mindset about rejection, I just stopped caring about rejection. Now, if a girl rejects me, I can just walk away and don't give the rejection another thought. So yeah, if you stop caring about rejection, it will help your subcommunication.
Don't worry about what you say.
When you go up to girls and talk to them, stop worrying about what to say. If you get to a point in the convo and you feel that it's dying, SAY ANYTHING. The reason saying anything works is because it's not actually the words you say, that attract a woman. Another word for just saying anything to move the convo along is called plowing. When you plow, it doesn't matter what you say and it does not have to make logical sense. Game is not logical. Now the say anything thing isn't MY style in particular, cause I just go up there and have convos, but yeah.
Talk LOUD, but calmly.
This is another thing I've noticed that has improved my sets. Talking LOUD, but talking calmly at the same time. So how do you talk calmly though? Well, just talk slower and not as fast. Another thing I've noticed is not saying everything at once does wonders. You can say "Well I was at the bar the other day and there was this big fight" which is cool, but inserting pauses in there like "Well... I was at the bar, the other day, and there was... this big fight". Pausing works because it keeps her interested and even adds a bit of suspense. It's like when you say it all at once, there's no suspense.
It's kind of like on those game shows, where they to eliminate people. If they just said "The loser is Michael" there's no suspense in that. But if they say "The loser is...[wait a couple of seconds] Michea!" then there's suspense. Talking loudly is pretty self explanatory, talk to her in a louder voice. Talking loudly shows that you have confidence in what you're saying. Talking calmly also shows that you have confidence in what you're saying.
Be real.
This is one of the toughest ones, but overall being real with a girl will improve your subcommunication a lot. Take genuine interest in what she says and don't just be worried the whole conversation, about if you're going to get a certain outcome or not. But yeah, be real with her. Talk to her about stuff that matters to you. Be yourself around her. Now I know what you're thinking "Be yourself is horrible advice". Well I have to disagree because I feel that when a guy is an AFC he can't really be himself, because he doesn't know how to present his personality to others. But yeah, if you're pissed, act pissed around the girl. If you're happy, be happy around the girl.
See the thing is there shouldn't be a pickup you and who you really are. Who you really are should be who you are in pickup. And overall the genuine thing doesn't just apply to getting girls, but it overall applies to life and having conversations with people overall. When you go up to a girl and talk to her, don't be fake. Don't go up there and tell her a bunch of lies. I gaurantee you that if you just told her what was REALLY on your mind, you'd get far more interest than you would telling lies.
This is also means, if you think a girl's hot, tell her. Don't try to hide that fact when you're talking to her. You lose her? Oh well, there are millions of other girls to talk to. This also means though, that if you think a girl is being straight rude or just being a b*tch and you WANT to call her out on it, call her out on it. But yeah... when you go up there, be real. Genuinely listen to her and genuinely take interest in what she says, IF she says something that genuinely interest you.
Body Language
You've probably heard these things a million times, but they will help your subcommunication improve. A lot of times when newer guys go up to girls they have bad body language. They're freaking shaking, afraid of eye contact and all that stuff. Now for the shaking thing, I'd say the same thing I said before, try and go up to girls being calm. Once you've genuinely become a calm person, the shaking will stop. Eye contact is a very big thing too, it shows her that you're genuinely interested in talking to her and overall, that you're not afraid of eye contact, like a lot of people are. Smiling helps a lot too, because if you smile, a lot of girls will just be more willing to talk to you. I also think smiling helps, because it emits positivity, which is always good.
