Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
“A quiet and modest life brings more joy than a pursuit of success bound with constant unrest."
Albert Einstein
Your thoughts?
Albert Einstein
Your thoughts?
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Einstein's formula for happiness
- Thread starter Atom Smasher
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
TheGambino
Master Don Juan
People need to be challenged and succeed on What is reachable for Their state and mind. That’s different per person, working on that and achieving is Happiness.
I think that happiness is a state of mind that comes from within.
With regards to success, I believe balance is the key. Chasing success can't make you as a person, but there is nothing wrong with trying to further yourself as much as possible.
With regards to success, I believe balance is the key. Chasing success can't make you as a person, but there is nothing wrong with trying to further yourself as much as possible.
I agree to a certain extent. I feel that the unrest and chaos sometimes is a big part of what shapes us....however i do think a peaceful and quiet life is the greatest of all time. With my 1st real love/gf I could be and was with her 24/7...we split because she wanted children and marriage right away and I just wasnt about that life. She was a great girl and a great person though and shes married with kids now to some simp so i guess she's happy. My second love/gf was chaos incarnate when her bpd kicked in so ive seen both sides.
I think a happy medium is best...having the means and ability to go out and live some adventure...only to be able to return to your batcave, or off the grid land...in order to recharge your batteries and live the quiet life. much like Gladiator
I think a happy medium is best...having the means and ability to go out and live some adventure...only to be able to return to your batcave, or off the grid land...in order to recharge your batteries and live the quiet life. much like Gladiator
The way I see it:
Pursuit of success with constant unrest is any endeavour thats sole purpose and only fulfilment is to gain wealth.
The money will only satisfy you temporarily until you have to acquire more to get the same kick, akin to the donkey with a dangling carrot. You never truly get the fulfilment you desire and become a slave to acquiring money
Pursuit of success with constant unrest is any endeavour thats sole purpose and only fulfilment is to gain wealth.
The money will only satisfy you temporarily until you have to acquire more to get the same kick, akin to the donkey with a dangling carrot. You never truly get the fulfilment you desire and become a slave to acquiring money
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
ChristopherColumbus
Master Don Juan
All the great religions of the world would attest to this. All is vanity.
And what would success mean without a quiet and modest life bringing joy?
ChristopherColumbus
Master Don Juan
I think the pursuit of happiness is the great con of the modern world. People chase it like the donkey after the dangling carrot. But it's worse than that because people are not just stupid ignorant animals - the chasing after happiness is the flip-side of an attempt to run away from misery.
It's the ego's run away from the self. What silly creatures we are.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
And now that I'm 60, this becomes more and more real.
Here is an interesting proverb worth pondering:
"Two things I request of You (Deprive me not before I die):
Remove falsehood and lies far from me; Give me neither poverty nor riches-- Feed me with the food allotted to me; Lest I be full and deny You, And say, "Who is the Lord?" Or lest I be poor and steal, And profane the name of my God."
Proverbs 30:7-9
It's only natural for the young man to go out there and try to make his mark in the world. When the burnout starts to manifest, the above words start to appear as wisdom.
Here is an interesting proverb worth pondering:
"Two things I request of You (Deprive me not before I die):
Remove falsehood and lies far from me; Give me neither poverty nor riches-- Feed me with the food allotted to me; Lest I be full and deny You, And say, "Who is the Lord?" Or lest I be poor and steal, And profane the name of my God."
Proverbs 30:7-9
It's only natural for the young man to go out there and try to make his mark in the world. When the burnout starts to manifest, the above words start to appear as wisdom.
ChristopherColumbus
Master Don Juan
Yes, you see that insofar as people can not say 'enough'. A false desire and consciousness seems to inflate even as their net worth does. Sadly, they miss the point. The point being that we should acquire a certain modicum of wealth in order to live a leisurely life of contemplation.... where you ask what the Good Life actually might consist in. A mistaking of the means for the ends.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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Considering that Einstein is known as one of the most intelligent and successful physicists ever, it sounds like he may not have taken his own advice. Maybe he came to his conclusion because he did the opposite.
Regarding the proverb, I suppose that great wealth comes with its own set of stresses. Depends on your ambition, I suppose. I think happiness comes more from your attitude, and a spirit of gratitude, than from what you accomplish. Accomplishments can be satisfying, but that's a separate issue from happiness, IMO.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
ImTheDoubleGreatest!
Master Don Juan
This isn’t always true. There are some people who just seem to have it all and have it really easy. But they are clinically depressed. For seemingly no reason. Well it’s not that it’s for no reason, but rather that they feel that they’ve never had to actually earn anything they’ve had and so they are actually worthless because of that.
You need SOME stress, and only occasionally. But that’s just to get your mind thinking and blood flowing in a different way than it usually does. Think of it like a 1969 Stingray Corvette. You don’t want to drive it all the time because that will depreciate it’s value and wear it down faster than you would a normal car. But you can’t just not drive because for one thing, there would be no point in having it, and also because the battery might die out as well and you won’t be able to drive it at all anymore even if you want to.
The same applies here; constant pressure and stress all the time is bad, but occasional stress is actually healthier than not.
You need SOME stress, and only occasionally. But that’s just to get your mind thinking and blood flowing in a different way than it usually does. Think of it like a 1969 Stingray Corvette. You don’t want to drive it all the time because that will depreciate it’s value and wear it down faster than you would a normal car. But you can’t just not drive because for one thing, there would be no point in having it, and also because the battery might die out as well and you won’t be able to drive it at all anymore even if you want to.
The same applies here; constant pressure and stress all the time is bad, but occasional stress is actually healthier than not.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
I haven't looked into it, but didn't he live a simple life, enjoying sailing and walking around beaches and the simpler things? I didn't think he pursued the fame he got, but I could well be wrong.
One thing I've come to learn is that many times people can give valuable advice even though they themselves can't live up to it. I've seen that time and time again both in my own personal circle and with more famous people. I usually take advice on its own merit while completely separating it from the source, because I no longer determine its merit upon the ability of the advice giver to be able to live up to it.
ChristopherColumbus
Master Don Juan
Your work should just be considered a tax on your time. It should never become your source of pride or identity. All that should be left at the door when you retreat into the privacy of your home, castle, shack, or whatever.
In that inner space, domestic or otherwise, your phenomenal contingent self [you call your ego] should be able to commune in comfort with your transcendent self. If instead you find boredom, then this serves to signify an ignorance of the need for a transcendental grounding, and thus an incessant and insatiable desire for outward stimulation will drive you. If instead of that you find anxiety [a slight progress on boredom], you are intuitively conscious of the need for a grounding, and yet have yet to find the means by which to do so.
Happiness [or the desire for it], the dogma of our day, is really the lowest form of consciousness. My dog is happy gulping his dinner, the donkey imagines itself happy with its eyes on the carrot, but we are not animals.
In that inner space, domestic or otherwise, your phenomenal contingent self [you call your ego] should be able to commune in comfort with your transcendent self. If instead you find boredom, then this serves to signify an ignorance of the need for a transcendental grounding, and thus an incessant and insatiable desire for outward stimulation will drive you. If instead of that you find anxiety [a slight progress on boredom], you are intuitively conscious of the need for a grounding, and yet have yet to find the means by which to do so.
Happiness [or the desire for it], the dogma of our day, is really the lowest form of consciousness. My dog is happy gulping his dinner, the donkey imagines itself happy with its eyes on the carrot, but we are not animals.
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ImTheDoubleGreatest!
Master Don Juan
Atom I have a question for you. I see what you’re saying about the above, but what happens when you cannot rest for fear of actually becoming poor and hungry? What then? Say someone already is burnt out but cannot rest.
Or what if someone as young as I gets burnt out? A young man can’t just rest and relax. But what if they get burnt out at my age or in their early twenties? Those people don’t have the luxury of just sitting down and relaxing.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
I think everyone needs their peaceful 'happy place'.
To recharge, regroup, and reframe if needed.
To recharge, regroup, and reframe if needed.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
@ImTheDoubleGreatest!
At your age it's only natural to "go out and get 'em", as the old saying goes. This is your time. As you mature, you start to get a deeper understanding into the balance of the pursuit of money and power vs. what really brings contentment to a man.
These are realizations that come later. When I was 18 I knew everything. At 60, I realize that I know almost nothing. But within that knowledge lies contentment.
I say give the pursuit of success everything you have when you're young. Hard work is very good for a man, and he should be rewarded for it. If he's not careful his hard work can become slavery, and that's when new realizations come into play. You're far away from that right now. Go out and attack the world. You will know it when you hit real burnout. These things can only be learned experientially. What can hasten relief from burnout after relentless striving is the echoes of old-timers like me who long ago said that it's only natural for a man to grow into the realization that the simpler things in life are far more meaningful and rewarding than the relentless pursuit of success.
It all has to do with age-appropriateness and seasons of life. You're in the season of hustle and do what you can to succeed, and that is perfectly appropriate.
I've had it all, and for me the most incredible thing in the world is to shape a piece of wood just right, or to work a piece of metal exactly the way I want it in order to restore a vintage machine. The satisfaction fro that far exceeds the satisfaction of going after that next deal.
LOL, I make myself sound like an old grandpa, when in reality, if you met me you would think I was in my 30s!
There's the old story of a reporter asking John D. Rockefeller, "How much money is enough money?" He replied, "Just a little bit more."
It is true that when you have enough money to have options in life, you have enough money. Life is definitely not about being able to acquire every single thing that you want. Possessions lose their meaning as you get older. They are an encumbrance, a thing to maintain and protect.
I would say to a young man, go out there and succeed with everything you've got. Along the way, learn to value the simple pleasures in life. It's so easy for the pursuit of wealth to consume a man, and for him to live in constant alarm because he still has to obtain that "little bit more". In my view, the key to happiness is seeking a reasonable balance between all aspects of life, and accepting imperfection.
Too soon old, too late smart.
At your age it's only natural to "go out and get 'em", as the old saying goes. This is your time. As you mature, you start to get a deeper understanding into the balance of the pursuit of money and power vs. what really brings contentment to a man.
These are realizations that come later. When I was 18 I knew everything. At 60, I realize that I know almost nothing. But within that knowledge lies contentment.
I say give the pursuit of success everything you have when you're young. Hard work is very good for a man, and he should be rewarded for it. If he's not careful his hard work can become slavery, and that's when new realizations come into play. You're far away from that right now. Go out and attack the world. You will know it when you hit real burnout. These things can only be learned experientially. What can hasten relief from burnout after relentless striving is the echoes of old-timers like me who long ago said that it's only natural for a man to grow into the realization that the simpler things in life are far more meaningful and rewarding than the relentless pursuit of success.
It all has to do with age-appropriateness and seasons of life. You're in the season of hustle and do what you can to succeed, and that is perfectly appropriate.
I've had it all, and for me the most incredible thing in the world is to shape a piece of wood just right, or to work a piece of metal exactly the way I want it in order to restore a vintage machine. The satisfaction fro that far exceeds the satisfaction of going after that next deal.
LOL, I make myself sound like an old grandpa, when in reality, if you met me you would think I was in my 30s!
There's the old story of a reporter asking John D. Rockefeller, "How much money is enough money?" He replied, "Just a little bit more."
It is true that when you have enough money to have options in life, you have enough money. Life is definitely not about being able to acquire every single thing that you want. Possessions lose their meaning as you get older. They are an encumbrance, a thing to maintain and protect.
I would say to a young man, go out there and succeed with everything you've got. Along the way, learn to value the simple pleasures in life. It's so easy for the pursuit of wealth to consume a man, and for him to live in constant alarm because he still has to obtain that "little bit more". In my view, the key to happiness is seeking a reasonable balance between all aspects of life, and accepting imperfection.
Too soon old, too late smart.
Tenacity
Banned
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Well, it's true.......a life that's both "quiet" and "modest" can be more joyful, but achieving both metrics is extremely hard today in 2017/2018.
- To have a quiet life, would mean that you would have a life that's not full of ups, downs, challenges, setbacks, deaths, discrimination, isolation, etc.....this is impossible to achieve.
- To have a modest life, means you can get by and enjoy life on "little assets/resources". Well, with the rising cost of living including healthcare, transportation, energy, and other items.........this is very hard to achieve.
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Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
It is true that it has become drastically more difficult to find that balance in this day and age, but it's till a worthy pursuit. I think when we find that balance, we become able to say, "You know, on balance life is pretty good. I'm not the wealthiest person, and nor am I poor. I'm able to balance work and leisure fairly well".
I have learned that thinking in extremes used to tear me up internally. I was always a perfectionist and an extreme thinker. The inner erosion that causes is incalculable. Life is a big mess of imperfection and will never be otherwise. I've learned to accept that pretty well and have made peace with the fact that I will never live in the pursuit of solving all my problems. Rather, I will live in the pursuit of honing my ability to handle problems and difficult life circumstances. Just musing here.
I have learned that thinking in extremes used to tear me up internally. I was always a perfectionist and an extreme thinker. The inner erosion that causes is incalculable. Life is a big mess of imperfection and will never be otherwise. I've learned to accept that pretty well and have made peace with the fact that I will never live in the pursuit of solving all my problems. Rather, I will live in the pursuit of honing my ability to handle problems and difficult life circumstances. Just musing here.
Tenacity
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Good point, the issue is that there's so many rapid changes occurring in our society that it might be difficult for the majority of Americans to ever truly "relax".
- The job market is more retarded today than ever before. You have the effects of globalism and technology slashing jobs on one end, then on the other end, everybody has a damn college degree so the competition for the few GOOD jobs left is tougher today than ever.
- Starting a business today is easy (due to technology) but very HARD in terms of actual success. This is just due to the ever present competitive forces that are honestly carried over from the job market.
- Cost of living continues to sky rocket. Try having 2 or 3 kids today and making a regular middle class level of income which for two working people, would be around $70,000 - $90,000 in total coming into the household. They can NEVER relax on that level of income considering their expenses are very high.
Furthermore, 80% of folks are living paycheck to paycheck and I don't think it's because they are just that horrible with their money, I honestly believe it's because the COST of everything continues to go up while wages, job compensation, etc. are going DOWN.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
Agree completely.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.