"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

eHarmony.com: PURE VOMIT!

TooColdUlrick

Master Don Juan
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i am not a violent man, i'm really not, and i'm very level headed about certain things, and not a lot bothers me anymore in my old age...and i don't yell at the television very often...

but god damn i want to strangle that fukking eharmony puzzy-boy. errg, i fukking HATE that guy.

"tweeeeeeeenty niiiiiiiine dimensions of compatibility..." in his puzzy-boy-voice. then you see some testimonial of a lap dog AFC who got himself a fat, ugly, queen-bee-chick.

where's my bucket?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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snintel

Senior Don Juan
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yeah go ahead and try to control your anger.
 

lebRambo

Master Don Juan
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May 31, 2005
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don't waste your time getting angry. People like this are already lost. All we can do is try to salvage some small percentage of what used to be men and try to convert them back. We are the children of the ark, man.
 

Plane

Don Juan
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Its 28 not 29.... errrr I thought it was atleast, yeah I hate those commercials too
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
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wanna know somethign funny? aro und a year and a half ago I decided to give them a try, so I filled out their little survey, and they told me I was too "odd" to find a match for m
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Chrispy

Senior Don Juan
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You sound to e-frustrated, TooColdUlrick. What gives?

Anyway I would give the site a try before dissing the lame commercials and so forth!

Have you heard of this new reality tv show about online dating? Now that's vomit.
 

Inc. ®

Don Juan
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Originally posted by Chrispy
Have you heard of this new reality tv show about online dating? Now that's vomit.
Yeah, dude, those chicks were ugly, but the sad thing is 1 or 2 of them had nice enough faces that I'm sure they could trick me on their profiles then I'd show up and see all that junk in the trunk.
 

TheVision

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Yeah I signed up for that site too, took that personality test or whatever, and it said I have no matches. What a waste of time.
 

drZaius09

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by backbreaker
wanna know somethign funny? aro und a year and a half ago I decided to give them a try, so I filled out their little survey, and they told me I was too "odd" to find a match for m
Hahahaha I was just about to post the same thing... I went on for a quick laugh, took the test, and they told me they couldn't help me! I guess I'm not the sniveling AFC chump-a$$ loser they're looking for...

Come to eHarmony, and check your testicles at the door!
 

drZaius09

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by Chrispy
Have you heard of this new reality tv show about online dating? Now that's vomit.
No, I haven't. Please tell me more... or direct me somewhere I can learn more... thank you.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Gravyboat

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Originally posted by TooColdUlrick
"tweeeeeeeenty niiiiiiiine dimensions of compatibility..." in his puzzy-boy-voice. then you see some testimonial of a lap dog AFC who got himself a fat, ugly, queen-bee-chick.
:crackup:

Don't forget--"There's a reeeeeeason these people have such a DEEP level of JOY and CONNECTED-NESS..."

(It's because they're equally desparate...)

p.s. This isn't a shot at ALL online dating--just E-Harmony, the "Oh my God I HAVE to get married RIGHT NOW" haven.
 

drZaius09

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I knew someone who worked for a company called "The Right One" or something like that-- where people spend SEVERAL THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS for this type of service. Does anyone know how much eharmony actually costs?? I mean, once you "pass" their little screening...
 

I'm Joe Dirt

Master Don Juan
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The fact that they tell you that they set up your profile "for free" probably means that anything beyond that costs either $ARM or $LEG (all US dollars of course).
 

Fist_of_Fury

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Originally posted by drZaius09
Hahahaha I was just about to post the same thing... I went on for a quick laugh, took the test, and they told me they couldn't help me! I guess I'm not the sniveling AFC chump-a$$ loser they're looking for...

Come to eHarmony, and check your testicles at the door!
Haha, the thing told me I was too weird, too. Lol. I guess I haven't quite reached the level of "pathetic" they were hoping for...:crackup:
 

al77

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by drZaius09
Does anyone know how much eharmony actually costs?? I mean, once you "pass" their little screening...
Less than $300 per year. Dont remember precisely though.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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