"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Early Sexual Issues...

A-Man2151

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 18, 2003
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I started dating my girlfriend a few months ago, and we just started having sex. We are 23, and she was a virgin. She was very apprehensive about starting a sexual relationship, but after she became more comfortable around me, decided she was ready. She would oftentimes be very self conscious and worry that she 'wouldn't be good at it', etc...but I kept reassuring her I wouldn't define our relationship by the first few times we had sex.

We are just about a 12 pack of condoms into the relationship now, and quite simply, sex does not feel good for her. She is a very tiny girl, and I would say I'm above average in size, and it is very painful for her. I keep telling her that it takes some time, especially since she was a virgin, but I feel like she is giving up, and her previous fears are coming true. To her credit, she is very persistent, and always wants to have sex, but is possibly getting frustrated that it's not getting better...which I don't know how to respond to.

I have had previous successful sexual relationships, so I am trying a bunch of different things to see what she likes, but I'm afraid she's getting into her mind that she's bad at sex, and it will never be good. She goes absolutely crazy when I go down on her, so it's not like she is incapable of being aroused, just apparently not through intercourse. Any suggestions on how I could keep her excited about doing it?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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TheBucketOfTruth

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 4, 2008
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Location
Portland, OR
Make sure you warm her up a lot before sex. By that I mean lots of foreplay and make sure everything down there is nice and wet. You can even use your own lube if things become a problem. It may be that you are not sexually compatible, but try just working with what you have now. The fact that she has apprehensions will only add to the problem, so just take things very slow at first and make sure she is a well-oiled machine before you start plowing away. Get her to talk about what works and what doesn't so you can get a better idea of how to give it to her.
 
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