"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Early indicators of Interest

TheMonkeyKing

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Some slight revision for me as I am a little out of practice.

So I been chatting to this chick online and today she initiated the chat early on this morning. No contact over weekend, though there was a lot of back and forth on Friday. I bumped in to her briefly today, which she knew would happen also. I noticed that she had freshly painted brght red finger nails.

I am playing the pre-emptive friendzone type thing and will be cooling the chat off until we're free to meet in a week or two.

What are the other subtle indications you have noticed?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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archon8692

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I doubt the nails being painted is an IOI.

They will go out of their way to spend time with you if they like you. If not...they'll make you wait 2 weeks or give you maybes.
 

bigneil

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You think she did her nails because she thought she might randomly bump into you?? Her doing her nails more likely means she's a hooker on the side. Her getting her hair done for your date is a different story.

IOI would be her knowing our name, using your name, asking where you are from, asking what you do, talking to you for 20 minutes when you see her, pupils getting larger, her playing with her hair, stroking her skin, touching you, answering "yes" to the question "are you single", writing her number down when instructed to, texting you back within one minute, randomly hugging you, putting her cheek out for you to kiss when she sees you, agreeing to your invitations for dates, and kissing you goodbye.
 

TheMonkeyKing

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You boys are right. Not applying the right perspective here.

I really am out of practice...
 

Laharl

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TheMonkeyKing said:
What are the other subtle indications you have noticed?
Just ordinary subtle stuff - like, she's spending time with me. I mean seriously, if you turn it around - how many chicks you don't like do you spend time with?

Spent a long time in the past looking for IOIs when I shouldn't have. You just flirt and escalate until you succeed or get a conclusive rejection, that simple.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TheMonkeyKing

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Laharl said:
Just ordinary subtle stuff - like, she's spending time with me. I mean seriously, if you turn it around - how many chicks you don't like do you spend time with?

Spent a long time in the past looking for IOIs when I shouldn't have. You just flirt and escalate until you succeed or get a conclusive rejection, that simple.
/thread.
 

Dhoulmagus

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its a girl, the worst she can say is no. It's not worth making a battleplan over it, so just do it.
 

G_Govan

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Laharl said:
Spent a long time in the past looking for IOIs when I shouldn't have. You just flirt and escalate until you succeed or get a conclusive rejection, that simple.
IOIs can be useful if you know how to identify them. I don't cold approach so I've become quite adept at this.

Obsessing over them is quite different though. There will always come a time when you simply have to make a move to confirm.

However, I wouldn't completely ignore them.

I look at it like this. How hard do I feel like I'm having to work to hook up with this chick? If it feels like an uphill battle it's most likely not a good lead and can end up wasting a lot of time.
 

Peña

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TheMonkeyKing said:
Some slight revision for me as I am a little out of practice.

So I been chatting to this chick online and today she initiated the chat early on this morning. No contact over weekend, though there was a lot of back and forth on Friday. I bumped in to her briefly today, which she knew would happen also. I noticed that she had freshly painted brght red finger nails.

I am playing the pre-emptive friendzone type thing and will be cooling the chat off until we're free to meet in a week or two.

What are the other subtle indications you have noticed?

I do not see how painting her nails would indicate any interest for you. She did not even know she was going to see you. How did she react to you bumping into her? That is the interest you need to look for during that meeting with her.
 
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