"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Early indicators of Interest

TheMonkeyKing

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Some slight revision for me as I am a little out of practice.

So I been chatting to this chick online and today she initiated the chat early on this morning. No contact over weekend, though there was a lot of back and forth on Friday. I bumped in to her briefly today, which she knew would happen also. I noticed that she had freshly painted brght red finger nails.

I am playing the pre-emptive friendzone type thing and will be cooling the chat off until we're free to meet in a week or two.

What are the other subtle indications you have noticed?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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archon8692

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I doubt the nails being painted is an IOI.

They will go out of their way to spend time with you if they like you. If not...they'll make you wait 2 weeks or give you maybes.
 

bigneil

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You think she did her nails because she thought she might randomly bump into you?? Her doing her nails more likely means she's a hooker on the side. Her getting her hair done for your date is a different story.

IOI would be her knowing our name, using your name, asking where you are from, asking what you do, talking to you for 20 minutes when you see her, pupils getting larger, her playing with her hair, stroking her skin, touching you, answering "yes" to the question "are you single", writing her number down when instructed to, texting you back within one minute, randomly hugging you, putting her cheek out for you to kiss when she sees you, agreeing to your invitations for dates, and kissing you goodbye.
 

TheMonkeyKing

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You boys are right. Not applying the right perspective here.

I really am out of practice...
 

Laharl

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TheMonkeyKing said:
What are the other subtle indications you have noticed?
Just ordinary subtle stuff - like, she's spending time with me. I mean seriously, if you turn it around - how many chicks you don't like do you spend time with?

Spent a long time in the past looking for IOIs when I shouldn't have. You just flirt and escalate until you succeed or get a conclusive rejection, that simple.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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TheMonkeyKing

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Laharl said:
Just ordinary subtle stuff - like, she's spending time with me. I mean seriously, if you turn it around - how many chicks you don't like do you spend time with?

Spent a long time in the past looking for IOIs when I shouldn't have. You just flirt and escalate until you succeed or get a conclusive rejection, that simple.
/thread.
 

Dhoulmagus

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its a girl, the worst she can say is no. It's not worth making a battleplan over it, so just do it.
 

G_Govan

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Laharl said:
Spent a long time in the past looking for IOIs when I shouldn't have. You just flirt and escalate until you succeed or get a conclusive rejection, that simple.
IOIs can be useful if you know how to identify them. I don't cold approach so I've become quite adept at this.

Obsessing over them is quite different though. There will always come a time when you simply have to make a move to confirm.

However, I wouldn't completely ignore them.

I look at it like this. How hard do I feel like I'm having to work to hook up with this chick? If it feels like an uphill battle it's most likely not a good lead and can end up wasting a lot of time.
 

Peña

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TheMonkeyKing said:
Some slight revision for me as I am a little out of practice.

So I been chatting to this chick online and today she initiated the chat early on this morning. No contact over weekend, though there was a lot of back and forth on Friday. I bumped in to her briefly today, which she knew would happen also. I noticed that she had freshly painted brght red finger nails.

I am playing the pre-emptive friendzone type thing and will be cooling the chat off until we're free to meet in a week or two.

What are the other subtle indications you have noticed?

I do not see how painting her nails would indicate any interest for you. She did not even know she was going to see you. How did she react to you bumping into her? That is the interest you need to look for during that meeting with her.
 
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