"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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dumped her hard. could she love me again?

dr. V

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Just ended a 3 month relationship with a 26 year old HB8. Everything was going great. She fell in love with me, I fell in love with her. She treated me well, always complemented me, bought me things, brought me around to meet just about everybody she knows, told me I was the man of her dreams, talked about marriage all of the time and how she wanted kids. Her parents loved me, they always invited me over for dinner, sent me home with food, stuff for my apartment etc. We planned a cruise together.

But as time went on I noticed that she was terribly insecure and immature. She told me that she used to be heavier (now she is in great shape and is a fitness freak) but she couldn't stand the fact that I had a better body than her and would flip out on me for no reason, saying that I was the one that was obsessed about being in shape even though I didn't work out half as much as she did. She was very into the night life, even though she didn't drink or do drugs (at least not around me), and she seemed to know everybody. As for me, I'm a 26 year old medical student and pretty much was done with the type of clubs she liked to go, as with most other people I know (most people I know arent med students), at around age 23. Still, I would go out to these places with her and have a mediocre time even though I couldn't really afford it.

Towards the last couple of weeks of our relationship, she started acting wierd. She would flip out on me for no reason and get dramatic, telling me things like "i don't even want to go on this trip", "after this trip were done", etc. We would make up and she would just tell me that she didn't mean what she said. She was also becoming increasingly controlling, wanting to see me when she was ready for me, ie. making me wait, and telling me she wouldn't be able to see me for the rest of the week if I didn't want to see her when she wanted to see me. She would also try to make me jealous all the time. I'm a laid back person and never really cared when other guys would hit on her or when she would constantly tell me how all these guys want her so bad. (I actually go her to admit one day, by almost breaking up with her, that she was trying to make me jealous because she was insecure and didn't know how much I cared about her). I also began to realize that she was not a very truthful person. Stories about her past kept changing and she seemed like the type of person that tells you what she thinks you want to hear. For example, one time after sex, she told me that that was the first time she ever came from sex. I joked around to her and said "well at least I know your not gonna turn into a lesbian now". She got serious and told me that she considered it before, and then told me a story about how she hooked up with her friend while some guy was bangin the friend. She said she open mouthed kissed her and that her friend "touched her whole body". She then told me about her threesome fantasy. From then on she would talk about how she would "do" different girls on tv and in magazines. She also told me that if we ever played cards together with her lesbian friend that I would probably have them naked and kissing. After a while I started getting feelings for this girl and didn't like the thought of her hooking up with other girls, so I asked her one time if she was serious about this whole girl-girl thing and she flipped out and said "how could you think that, I never did anything like that, I was just saying that to see your reaction." Anyway, about a week before our trip she told me that she was broke and wasn't bringing any money on the trip (even though she lives at home and works two jobs). I told her I didn't want to go if I had to pay her way (im broke and in medical school). She said don't worry about me i'll bring just enough. I just didn't trust her anymore and the night before the trip I dumped her. I also lost my cool and text messaged her some nasty things, calling her a ***** and whatnot.

Also, to complicate things a little further, at about the time she started acting wierd, I started taking this androsteine stuff to help me get in better shape for the trip. It worked extremely well but it also made me impotent. It wasn't a good mix considering her insecurity issues, and I stopped taking it as soon as I realized that it was that that was making me impotent.

Well anyway, its been about a week since I talked to her and I was wondering what you guys thought the chance of her calling me again was. Did I screw up, or did I do the right thing. Hypothetically speaking, if I did want her back, should I call her?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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To be honest with you, it seems to me that this girl doesn't love you!

This girl is a heap of trouble - I see so many danger signs throughout your post - this girl is not marriage material and after 3 months you were moving way too fast and not looking at her objectively.

This girl loves attention and drama and she is a liar and manipulator - I saw the same signs in the girls I was with who were liars to the extreme. I can't imagine why you want her back, unless you don't have confidence in yourself to do better!

She talks to you as if you are a chump - never keep company with a woman who speaks to you in a disrespectful manner - "after the trip we are done" - what kind of crazy shyt talk is this? I would have left her ass then and there!!!

Do not go back with this chick, let alone get into a ltr - you'll regret it later. She is taking away your concentration from your immediate goal of graduating from med school - she is a great hinderance! Get a woman who will support and comfort you, and not one that wants undeserved attention and creates unnecessary drama and brings doubts to your mind of her honesty and loyalty!!

You posted your situation here, not because you want her back or are curious whether she will love you again, rather you posted this for us to tell you what you already know and what you want affirmed - which is, that this girl is wrong for you and it would be a grave mistake to return to her.

It has only been 3 months - put things in perspective - you owe her nothing! You do owe it to yourself to look out for your future well-being! I don't think you want her by your side, if you know what is good for you!

Make a 'clean' break and do not call her again!
 

CLOONEY

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You do want her back, because you are not secure enough with yourself. This girl is NOTHING but trouble. I once dated a girl JUST like your one. I kept her around for a LONG time, about a year, BUT it was the longest fukcing year ever. Once I finally got rid of her, I was real sad. Just because of the company and companionship I guess. Because we did have a LOT of good times together also. I also got addicted to the drama. But once I TRULY moved on from her and started dating and getting interested in other girls, I felt sooooooo alive again. You also feel really good that you moved on and dont need her in your life.

I would not call or contact this girl again. Put her out of your mind mate and move on. Dont put yourself through this bad cycle again.
 

WaterTiger

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...I don't get it! You want her back...why?

This chick is a NUT-CASE! The further you can get from her the better your life is going to be!

Look, you're in med school. When you get out of med school you're going to have beautiful, normal women begging for your attention. (All our Moms told us to marry lawyers or doctors!:D )

Why are you will to settle for an insecure, deeply neurotic woman now? Drop kick her to the curb and don't look back. You can do SO much better!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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slickone

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Babes that want doctors

As a person in the medical field it is great to be a doctor. It is great to be a resident and even a medical student.

Women will flock to you even as a student because they see potential, but sometimes they will be put off by your long hours and commitment to work.

Be careful with the nurses, lots of single moms, or women looking for sugar daddies. Also there are quite a few nurses who have the nasty habit of screwing whatever fresh meat comes through the hospital.

Best follow the old adage of not sh*tting where you eat. You can get your ass in a world of hurt if you piss off the wrong person (nurse, her buddy or boss, or your boss)

Forget about this chick you have a wonderful future. You will be making money and be financially and personally successful.

You're young.......meet lots of different women, wrap your pecker always, and find out the good, bad and ugly about women.

When you are ready for that LTR you will know what you want and need from your woman.

Finally, a prenup is NOT out of the question. Seen quite a few of my friends get screwed from the age of 40-65 and "give away" houses, cars, etc to the exes.

Maybe a little off topic but just to let you know that the world is your oyster.
 
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